Somebody tried to crash Sammy Sosa’s birthday party wearing brown face paint. Enrique Santos, the self-proclaimed “King of All Spanglish Media” decided to gussy up for the event at the Fontainebleau, which is guess is French for…hey, you’re the racist. YOU come up with something.

Invited as a guest to Sosa’s big birthday bash at the Fontainebleau, Santos thought he’d have a little fun with the whole Lightening Gate situation and show up at the party looking like he got locked into a spray tan booth. “I’m currently using a cream which has darkened my complexion,” Santos says. “Ironically, Sammy is going through the same process, but the cream he is using is making him white.”

While on the red carpet doing interviews, Santos was approached by a publicist who asked him what he was doing, telling Santos, “You can’t make fun of him,” and ultimately kicking him out of the affair. –Enrique Santos, via Slanch Report.

Yeah, so dude got tossed from a party for dressing up for Halloween three weeks too late. Big news there. So “brown face” is cool if you’re already Hispanic? I guess if you’re showing up to party with a 41-year-old guy that still calls himself “Sammy,” then probably not.

Look, I’m not a big fan of the “[Hispanic player/coach] MOWS MY LAWN” shirts; they’re long on ethnic stereotyping and short on Teh Funny (and that’s coming from a guy that did this post on KSK last year). But when White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen found someone selling “OZZIE MOWS WRIGLEY FIELD” shirts in front of 1060 West Addison on his way to work (the Sox play the Cubs in Wrigley today), he made a statement of his own. From Mark Gonzales at the Trib’s Hardball blog:

Guillen bought a T-shirt and wore it in the clubhouse. “I might cut lawns but I don’t stand in the rain selling T-shirts,” Guillen said, laughing.

It’s a refreshing attitude to have, if not a counter-productive one. I would have loved to see the look on the vendor’s face when that transaction went down, assuming the guy would have been smart enough to recognize Guillen without his landscaping gear. Hey, that was totally uncalled for! Oh, wait…I wrote that.

|as first seen on Amy K. Nelson’s Twitter feed. The “K” stands for “baseball.”|

Here’s an undated video of an earlier Scripps National Spelling Bee where this confused youngster is being asked to spell “negus,” the term used for an Ethiopian monarch, and you can just see the kid looking around, perhaps waiting for a cadre of young toughs to pummel him through the stage at the first sign of anything potentially inappropriate. And then I can’t tell if he’s acting surprised at the end because he actually spelled the word correctly or because that group of angry gentleman made a charge at the stage to get him. Via The Smoking Section.

I hope everyone realizes that the Year of the White Guy post from a couple weeks back was in the spirit of fun. It would be great to live in a world where black people and white people could hang out with each other and not crack on each other’s traditionally-perceived deficiencies, but we don’t. Anyway, in the same vein of that earlier post, here’s a great spoof of Kanye West’s “Amazing” serving as a tribute to the white basketball player. It’s quite awesome, if not humorously racist.

|Shoals @ The Baseline via KOGOD|

The owner of the LA Clippers is scheduled to receive a lifetime achievement award from the NAACP. And if that’s not enough fun for you, consider that Clippers owner Donald Sterling (left) is being sued by his former general manager, Elgin Baylor (right, with his wife), who was black! Actually, he probably still is black. From the LA Times, which is black, white, and read all over:

Leon Jenkins [Ed.'s note: LEEOOOOOOOON JEENNNNKINNNNNNSS!], president of the Los Angeles branch of the civil rights organization, says of the much-maligned Sterling, “He has a unique history of giving to the children of L.A.,” revealing that the owner donates anywhere from 2,000 to 3,000 tickets a game to youth groups for nearly every Clippers home game. . . .

Noting that the NAACP had made plans to honor Sterling before Baylor filed suit, Jenkins says, “We can’t speak to the allegations, but what we do know is that for the most part [Sterling] has been very, very kind to the minority youth community.” . . .

You see? Sterling only screwed over one black guy. That’s totally okay, especially when that guy worked for you for 20 years and didn’t accomplish a damn thing. Why, it’s almost as if Baylor was dismissed on his merits! Or lack thereof really. Not that Baylor seems to be the only one feeling entitled to something greater than what he received. If only Clippers fans felt the same way…

Fun story coming in the wake of the Washington Redskins’ notable legal victory concerning the savages of North America earlier this week: Robert Raskopf, the attorney at the law firm representing the Redskins, sent out a celebratory email after winning the case. From the legal blog Above The Law (via FLUBBY):

Raskopf was so happy on Friday that he sent out a firm-wide victory e-mail. But not everybody was thrilled. After bouncing around the firm and racking up some responses, the victory chain made its way to our inbox via a tipster:

This is too good not to share. This was sent to all Quinn attorneys.
—
The First Year Associate Who Shat All Over Raskopf’s Victory Email OR The First Year Associate Who Repurposed the Redskins

Basically some first-year sent out an email to his entire firm chastising Raskopf and the firm for not being more sensitive to the feelings of Native Americans. A partner of the firm sent the associate a cautionary reply (sorry, nobody’s using their real names), the first-year replies to the partner, again using Reply-All. And the dick sent it in all lowercase letters. You work at a law firm, douchebag. You too good for the occasional visit to the shift key?

It’s a good read for anyone interested in an account of spectacular failure in office politics. Want me to ruin the ending for you? They made the first-year a junior partner. Just kidding; he got fired (assuming it’s a “he”).