I'm gonna try to win the Pulitzer with this one.

Austin, Texas, has 8-10 festivals every weekend, but this weekend was a big one: the 7th annual Fun Fun Fun Fest, featuring a reunited Run DMC, everyone from Public Image Ltd to X to f**king Kreayshawn and a cannon that shoots tacos. It’s the weird little brother of SXSW, and it’s the best.

It’s also full of sports, and because 1) I was there, and 2) I run a sports blog, I documented all of it to share with you here. I actually got to participate in some of it, too. My jobs as a returning judge for the Air Sex Championships and hosting gig for a veggie hot dog eating contest got me billed as a “Yellow State Artist,” meaning I performed (as it were) on the same stage as David Cross, Eugene Mirman, H. Jon Benjamin, Saul Williams and a magician who did a racist ventriloquist act and pulled ribbons out of a chicken’s ass. It was one of the coolest, best experiences I’ve ever had, and that’s not even mentioning how I got a crowd of hipsters to join me in a Daniel Bryan “YES” chant.

Inside this Golden Treasury of sports photos you’ll find:

- Skateboarding and BMX at “Ride The Plank,” sponsored by Project LOOP
- Pro wrestling courtesy of local pals Anarchy Championship Wrestling
- Mechanical bull riding
- The aforementioned Air Sex Championships, which gets covered a lot on With Leather these days and is exactly what it sounds like.
- The veggie hot dog eating contest

Stick around until the very end to see a shirtless fat guy in a horse mask squaring off against a punk rock pornstar. That is not clickbait, that actually happened. I love you, Fun Fun Fun Fest.

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There are two major perks to living in Austin, Texas, and I’ll let you decide which one is better:

1. We have a festival for something every two weeks.
2. We’re one of the stops on the nationally touring Air Sex World Championships series.

If you haven’t seen an Air Sex competition before, you’re in for a treat. Possibly a stomach ache too, but definitely a treat. Air Sex works just like Air Guitar, except instead of pretending to play guitar you’re pretending to rail or be railed by any number of invisible persons, things and objects. It’s … an experience.

The Air Sex Championships rolled into town to help unofficially kick off this week’s Moontower Comedy and Oddity Festival as both comedy and oddity, and With Leather representatives were there to exclusively capture the action.

Reader discretion is advised. Sort of.

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So, this happened.

After something like four months of vague promising, I’m happy to present to you episode one of With Leather’s brand new pro wrestling podcast, the appropriately named “With Spandex”.

If you’re a fan of the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column, give this a listen. Every week I’ll going to be talking to a performer, writer or personality from THIS BUSINESS~, and this week I’m lucky enough to debut the show with Austin, Texas, and Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s own Rachel Summerlyn. She’s the blonde with another guy’s blood in her hair in the banner image. Yes, she is that awesome.

Check out episode one of the program below, with some helpful visual aids regarding what we’re talking about to follow. I want you to treat this just like the Raw column — I want to see your comments, Facebook likes, tweets and shares. I also want to see you at Anarchy’s show on Sunday, but we’ll get to that later.

Direct download available here: With Spandex Episode 1 – Rachel Summerlyn

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Video full of dancing tribe guys gets “HOW IS THIS RACIST” comments, news at eleven. [via SOB]

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Me Making Appearances In Wrestling Places

Matches We Loved 2011: Part 1 - I’m not technically in this part (I should show up in part 2), but it’s got enough positive pro graps talk and people bleeding to death in Austin to make it feel like I am. Check this out, seriously. [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

Wear The Cheese: Hot Tag Podcast - A podcast with a 30-minute time limit that goes about 45 because I can’t shut up about disliking Pescetarians. Lots of fun. [Wear The Cheese]

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 42: Brandon Stroud III - And, in case you missed it, my appearance on last week’s The Wrestling Podcast. This is mostly about Avatar: The Last Airbender, honestly. [The Wrestling Blog]

Links

The Washed Ferrari Scale: Rating Michael Bay’s Leading Ladies - I thought about firing Burnsy outright for saying Kate Beckinsale is hotter than Scarlett Johansson. [Film Drunk]

Can’t Be Faded: 40 Forgotten Nate Dogg Features - He laid all them busters down. He let his gat explode. Now he’s switching his mind back into freak mode. [Smoking Section]

The 20 Best Cold Opens from ‘The Office’ - There isn’t a character on television I’d like to see brutally beaten in his home than Jim Halpert. [Warming Glow]

Darren Aronofsky’s Ideas for a Batman Movie Were…Interesting - Well, it still sounds better than having Spider-Man have “puberty” by blowing his organic webshooters between the sheets in the morning. [Gamma Squad]

Make Every Tweet Count, You Guys. It Could Be Your Last. - “Dance like nobody’s watching. Love like it’s never gonna hurt!” – Heath Ledger [UPROXX]

Christina Hendricks Dressed In Leather, Posing With Weapons - Hey look, a post about tits and leather. Now we’re the website everybody thinks we are when I tell them I’m a blogger at “With Leather”. [Buzzfeed]

Adult Swim’s 25 Worst Places to Die - Gloucester City, New Jersey. It’s also on the 25 worst places to live or do anything else. [Adult Swim]

7 Comedians Without Their Beards - Tell me Bradley Cooper is in here. [HuffPost Comedy]

Stop-Motion TMNT Intro - They’re heroes in a half-shell, and they’re green? WELL HOLD ON A MINUTE. [High Definite]

Get ready for the most exciting 65 seconds on television!

Pre-show notes:

- My screencap guy bailed on me (and I’m writing this from Not My Computer, so I don’t have a reliable source for a torrent… AND WWE Fan Nation got turned into the SANTINO MARELLA SAYS FUNNY WORDS TO PEOPLE channel so so much for THOSE clips) so until I get a late-in-the-day e-mail, the pictures and such are courtesy of WWE.com. Sorry about that.

- Comments are loved and appreciated. So are “likes”. Clicking like is even easier than commenting, so hit that like button if you’ve got a second. It makes me look important and well-liked!

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- Additional reading: UGO’s Raw Report. I would kill to be able to get up my column as efficiently as Aubrey Sitterson. It takes me four hours just to get through the Jinder Mahal parts.

- A.J. pic featured… within? Wait, what?

Please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for February 2, 2012.

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As a kid who grew up fearing the pink aisle because of what it said about me, I’m happy kids like this are starting to exist.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I spent Christmas Eve facepalming in Cowboys Stadium and I don’t even like the Cowboys. If you got gifts and want to let strangers know about them, tell us what you got in the comments section below. We’ve got staggered, “thread” style commenting enabled now, so people can troll you directly.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

On A Christmas Story, Its Lessons For Hip-Hop & Biggie Smalls - “Rich and chocolate like Ovaltine!” – Ludacris, probably [Smoking Section]

New And Improved And Watchable Jingle All The Way - This makes me want to spend all day watching Commando. [UPROXX]

The 100 Greatest Christmas Shows - My pal Mike Westfall’s list from 2004, which sadly cannot include Annie Edison putting baby Jesus in the tree. Still a pretty definitive list. [Progressive Boink]

All I Want For Christmas Is A ‘Game Of Thrones’ Teaser And A Fresh Prince Reunion - My weirdest and most Abed-like career goal is to buy (or recreate) the set from The Fresh Prince, live there, and occasionally have James Avery stop by and hang out with me. Getting him to say WHAT THE BLAZES would be a bonus. [Warming Glow]

20 Screaming Santa Visits - I feel like kids who cry on Santa’s lap are fundamentally wrong, and this should be an indicator that what you’re doing isn’t working. A child should not be terrified of someone who wants to give them tons of gifts and already has their parents’ permission. They’re going to suck when they get older. [Buzzfeed]

The Colts Choked When They Tried To Suck - That gif is just the greatest thing in the world. And yes, the Texans blowing that game was a Christmas present to Indianapolis and/or St. Louis, you can’t convince me otherwise. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Hey Zelda Fans – The Timeline Exists, And Here It Is - I can’t believe I’m actually looking at this thing. It’s like I’ve found my way to El Dorado. [Gamma Squad]

Every Batman Suit Ever - Also, a great reminder that everything ever said by Batman not written for The Animated Series or the Justice League cartoon is f**king stupid sounding. [Film Drunk]

The 25 Greatest MMA Photos Of 2011 - MMA would be 100% better if they didn’t do that forced staredown thing every single time. Also, pro wrestling would be better if they didn’t try to do the MMA staredown for their video packages every week. [Cage Potato]

Lindsey Vonn Says She Isn’t Dating Tim Tebow - … but isn’t “opposed” to dating him. Well, hopefully that changed after this weekend. [Sportress Of Blogitude]

ACW: Delusions Of Our Childish Days 2011 - The Dirty Dirty Sheets review of the latest Anarchy show in Austin. Still not 100% on why I’m not their correspondent for these things, but hey. Rachel Summerlyn in a Santa suit. [DirtyDirtySheets]