The 2013 Quidditch World Cup, or whatever it’s called, is taking place this weekend in Kissimmee, Florida, which is like the Taedong to Orlando’s Pyongyang, and yes, to answer the question that I know you’re all asking, I think Kate Upton is being rude by not responding to Spike Albrecht’s Tweet. But I will also have the Internet’s most extensive pre-World Cup coverage in the coming days, which means that today we can focus on just how big this made up sport is becoming.

Student groups from around the U.S. have already tried to make a case for Quidditch becoming an NCAA-sanctioned sport, despite it being a made up sport, and now Boise State University is actually demolishing buildings to make room for an actual Quidditch field. The construction of two new fields has already begun to meet the needs of the football and lacrosse teams, and once state approval is confirmed, a third field will be built for additional student use, including Quidditch competitions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Olympic athletes.

For those who haven’t heard, quidditch is an imaginary sport that was created by author J.K. Rowling in her famous Harry Potter series, and it features teams of young wizards flying around on broomsticks, trying to throw a ball through a hoop. It’s sort of like lacrosse, but imaginary and with magic. Of course, that never stopped scores of hipsters across the world from forming upstart quidditch leagues, in which they dressed like Harry Potter characters while pretending to fly around on brooms.

Translated: They stick brooms between their legs and run around in fields.

So despite this “sport” being based on a magical game from a series of children’s books, the people who “play” it believe that now is the time for the Olympics to take them seriously.

“Most people who play are nerds but we have a lot of jocks or athletes playing this sport as well, some of whom have never even read the Harry Potter books,” Benepe, dressed in a three-piece suit and top hat, told Reuters.

“We thought it would be a great time to piggy-back off the Olympics, being held in the home country of Harry Potter, and show people this is an exciting sport. There are a lot more ridiculous sports in the Olympics than quidditch.” (Via Reuters)

To be fair, I really do respect what the people who are behind quidditch are trying to do with their mission statement of being “dedicated to promoting the sport of quidditch and inspiring young people to lead physically active and socially engaged lives”. That’s honorable, because God knows our fat little piggy kids could use the exercise, lest they end up on Skinny Gossip’s sh*t list.

But to say there are more ridiculous sports in the Olympics? Name them. Because I don’t mean to be a dick, but if your selling point is that quidditch is whimsical and fun while physically demanding – like rugby with knock-knock jokes – you shouldn’t be crapping all over a bunch of world class athletes who have been training their whole lives to compete in these time-honored sports. Not cool, Muggles.

After the jump, the quidditch nerds state their Olympic case.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sports

Wilt Chamberlain to Possibly Have His Own Postage Stamp - This is the most appropriate news bit of the day, as Wilt has been sticking it to white squares since 1958. [Smoking Section]

High Schoolers Petition to Make Quidditch a Real Sport - Blogger petitions to make high schoolers stop making decisions like this. It’s like Star Wars fans who join “Sith Councils”. Can’t you love something and not have to directly be a part of it? [Gamma Squad]

Hoop Dreams on Hulu - No real reason, I just wanted to remind you that one of the best movies of all time is on Hulu. If you have three hours to burn, you’ve got no better way to spend it. Except possibly watching Hoop Dreams in a theater, or on a TV. [Hulu]

The Dugout: Meet the UltraMets - Any Dugout that gets a cap doff from Jason Fry is an unqualified success. Go read about the Mets, and as a bonus, read about the best martial arts film of all time. TOMMY NO [The Dugout]

Kimbo Slice to Make Boxing Debut - So far, I think “being homeless” is the only thing this guy’s been able to make a sustainable career from. Up next: Kimbo Slice makes his pro wrestling debut, losing to Dick Trimmins at your local armory! [Cage Potato]

Not Sports

A Golden Treasury of Rihanna Grabbing Her Crotch - The caption for most of these photos should be “Please! Please use your words!” Part of me wishes we could get into pop stars who wear shirts and occasionally pants, but hey, she’s foxy, so good for her. [Uproxx]

Man, Woody Allen is Old - Yeah, but for about fifteen years he was a goddamned genius. And not the kind you say a guy who draws web comics is, an actual creative genius. He deserves any ingenue he can hook up with, whether they’re related to him or not. [Film Drunk]

Chris Hansen’s Most Memorable ‘To Catch a Predator’ Moments - Included in the Morning Links to make my girlfriend laugh. My favorite TCAP moment is when the false internet teen asked guys to bring her double cheeseburgers from McDonald’s to “show intent”. [Uproxx]

Tracy Morgan Can’t Joke About Any Living Peoples - Poor Tracy Morgan. He makes uninformed opinions about killing gay people and now he can’t talk about ANYBODY. Anti-bullying groups need to target Gallagher for his callous words about immigrants and watermelons. [Warming Glow]

As teams from approximately 60 colleges and high schools strap broomsticks between their legs and pretend to fly to Manhattan for the 2010 Quidditch World Cup, I find myself almost shocked to tell you that the worst part of this story isn’t that hundreds of Harry Potter fans have turned this “sport” up a notch. Nope, the real mind-numbing news is that these “athletes” are petitioning for NCAA status for a game taken from a children’s book and played by hipsters and nerds. If these broom-riding Ron Weaslys have their way, Quidditch could be coming to your university in a major way soon enough. And here I thought we were trying to stop bullying.

But before we go getting too up-in-arms about this campaign, remember that it takes at least 40 universities to even get the NCAA to pay notice to a potential new sport. Still, imagine the joy on the faces of the men’s tennis team as they’re told that they can’t play anymore because Title IX requires them to forfeit their scholarships for a women’s Quidditch team. This has awesome written all over it.

Make me change my mind about this silly Quidditch nonsense, Wall Street Journal:

Read the rest of this entry »

Every now and again I make fun of the pitifully awkward world of people who play quidditch (see here, here, and here), the made-up game from a children’s book that requires people to pretend to be able to fly on brooms.  Which of course requires them to wear a cape and run around outside holding a broom between their legs.  It appeals to them, I presume, because it requires no hand-eye coordination, and the notion of regular “sports” doesn’t satisfy their need to occupy a fantasy world apart from the harsh reality that scoffs at them and knocks books out of their hands and pushes them down the stairs.

ANYWAY, Dalhousie University, supposedly one of the best colleges in Canadia, is now using its quidditch club as — and I have to switch to all-capitals to make this clear — A REASON TO ATTEND THE COLLEGE.

Oh yes.  Sounds amazing.  Without doing the exact math, I’d guess that there are about a million different ways you could advertise for college.  Exciting, challenging courses.  Ivy on the walls and shit.  Careful use of attractive (but diverse! always racially diverse!) people in the ads.  Nearby outdoor or urban activities.  And so on.  And if you wrote them all out and put them in order from #1 down, I guaranfuckintee you “quidditch club” is number one million.

[Joey deVilla via Food Court Lunch]