Wait, I’m sorry, the topic of this post is even worse. To show support to the Tampa Bay Lightning, Lightning fans (including BRITNY HERE) “charged the Garrison Channel blue” by dumping 36 gallons of blue dye into the water. A hockey team’s fans try to pump up the hockey team by making water blue, then chant “Let’s Go Light-ning” at the water without the hockey team actually being there. The worst part is that it isn’t even a lot of dye. They didn’t charge the channel blue, they dumped those pool safety urine-away things in the bay and pissed on them in a straight line. I could buy 36 gallons of water from my grocery store for about 36 dollars, toss in about four bucks-worth of blue dye from any Hobby Lobby, and all it leaves me is “out 40 bucks.” But the Lightning are on their way to the Stanlicup!

This story has been sort of shared across the Internet over the last few days, and I wonder why nobody stopped them and said “you know, you’re probably going to look like idiots” before they rented the speedboat.

[Via Puck Daddy]

Terrell Owens was taken to a Dallas-area emergency room last night after attempting suicide. Details are sketchy, but a "female companion" (nice work, T.O.) observed him taking prescription pain pills. He was taken to the ER and had his stomach pumped.

Some people say suicide is a bad thing to make jokes about, but that's only because so few assholes attempt suicide. Besides, this wasn't a real attempt; this was one of those "cry for help" attempts that 17-year-old girls who wear too much eye makeup do. His publicist called 911, for Chrissakes. Of course T.O. is gonna make a cry for help. Drew Bledsoe is his quarterback. If he really wanted to die he would have disrespected Joey Porter.

There still remains the question as to just why T.O. did this. I think it's obvious: it had been a long eight days since his broken finger was the lead story. Get well, T.O.! I can't use up all this hate on Joey Porter alone!