I’ll be honest and say I never considered “while I’m choking her out” to be a viable proposal time, but here’s video evidence of Jiu-Jitsu student Justin Saikaley asking his girlfriend to marry him while she’s trapped in his triangle choke, and … yep, it’s adorable. Somehow.
Before we start, I need several minutes to figure out what it says on her shirt. CUBE, maybe? I’ll update you after I’m done looking.
Anyway, the lady in the cube shirt is Erica, and in the latest moment in a long, storied history of failure at Wrigley Field, Erica left her seat at the perfect moment to miss the big ERICA, WILL YOU MARRY ME on the scoreboard. They don’t specify why she leaves, but my theory is “to put on several more bras”.
Things work themselves out, but this poor, stressed Cubbies fan has learned two important lessons: (1) Don’t propose to your girlfriend at a baseball game, no matter how much you like the team, and (2) don’t propose to someone while you’re wearing a backwards baseball cap. The damn goat could’ve materialized and can-chomped him in the junk while this was happening and it wouldn’t have been any more embarrassing.
The Seattle Mariners have just finished opening Major League Baseball’s 2012 season by splitting a two-game series against the Oakland Athletics at the Tokyo Dome, and the only one of the coolest things to come out of MLB’s foray into Japan is the story of how Mariners infielder Brendan Ryan took his girlfriend up to the sky deck on the 90th floor of Mori Tower under the ruse of a nicely-dressed tour and proposed to her.
“I had this planned for quite a while,” said Ryan. “Once I heard we were going to Japan, I figured it was a pretty cool opportunity. Then MLB heard about it and stepped in and rolled out the red carpet for us and it was just awesome.
“We got up there at sunset so it was starting to get dark and you could see the lights of the city and the Tokyo Tower was lit up,” he said. “It was perfect.”
You can check out a video with a few additional comments after the jump, but be warned: while I don’t think you’d have a reason to already, you may never be able to hate Brendan Ryan again.
UPROXX 2012 Grammy Awards Open Thread - In case you need to know what everyone’s talking about this morning. Quick recap: Adele won everything, Whitney Houston died, Nicki Minaj blows. [UPROXX]
Whitney Houston Dies At 48 - And if you missed that part, recreate the media’s response to Whitney’s death by playing the first 30 seconds of “I Will Always Love You” on loop. [Smoking Section]
George Lucas says Greedo ALWAYS shot first, you were just confused - I don’t want to be too crude on this blog, but George Lucas can eat my entire asshole. [Film Drunk]
A Compendium of Cool Comics Cosplay: February 10th - I’m not in this one, but you should check it out anyway. Big Barda ftmfw. [Gamma Squad]
Let’s Overanalyze These New ‘Game of Thrones’ Photos - Spoiler alert: all major characters die in the first episode of the new season, are replaced by those characters’ cousins. And Ashton Kutcher. [Warming Glow]
Nic Cage Broke His Legendary Time-Traveling Vampire Silence On Letterman - How did it get born? How did it get born HOW DID IT GET BORN? [UPROXX]
20 People Who Think Oprah Is Whitney Houston - Buzzfeed is making a killing off the 20 stupidest people to tweet every day. 20 people who think the moon is made of sandwiches! [Buzzfeed]
Newton Abbey: Newt Gingrich’s ‘Dream Team’ Photo Reminiscent Of ‘Downton Abbey’ - As if Newt could ever be that cool. [HuffPost Comedy]
Ahmed Best talks about a deleted Jar Jar Binks scene that really would have redeemed his character and made a huge difference in The Phantom Menace - Han and Greedo have guns pointed at each other, but instead of one shooting they both shoot Jar Jar. Is that what he’s talking about? [FARK]
Five Things About the Phantom Menace That Didn’t Suck - Lots of Star Wars links today, I guess. Thing 6: Jake Lloyd never acted again. [Unreality]
Norwegian News Mistakes Joke T-Shirt For Actual Eye Chart - Way to go, Norwegia. Some poor guy is walking around with a nickel, trying to buy a mustache ride. [The FW]
Top 10: Dunks On Kendrick Perkins (A History Of Abuse) - Poor guy, you think he’d learn to get his hands up after the 4th or 5th posterization. [Real Talk NY]
Rep Yo’ City: 40 Hip-Hop Hometown Anthems - It’s true, “Cleveland Is The City”. Bedford is just the suburbs, but they have an Auto Mile. [Smoking Section]
The Movie Middle Finger Mash-Up Is Fantastic - Needs more Captain Hammer. Also, people who do the “every finger up but bent in the middle, thumb out” thing are weird. Stop doing that. [Film Drunk]
Here’s Why Dax Shepard Is With Kristen Bell And You’re Not, Bros - This is seriously adorable, and if you didn’t like Kristen Bell before, oh man. [UPROXX]
Can We Just Stop ‘Popping The Question,’ Please? - Yeah, it’s getting harder and harder to propose to one’s girlfriend thanks to the Internet. What am I supposed to do, give her a ring for a Christmas present? That’s the lamest thing in history. [UPROXX]
The Arrested Development Movie Is Really Actually Absolutely Happening For Real - And maybe if this works out, we’ll find out what happened to Henry at the end of ‘Party Down’ after all. [Film Drunk]
6 Series From Dark Horse Comics You Should Be Buying (Aside From Hellboy) - If Usagi Yojimbo can have a comic for 30 years, someone should be able to hire me to write one for Mondo Gecko. Just saying. [Gamma Squad]
How Would You Like Your Back Clawed by These TV-Themed Fingernails? - I would not! [Warming Glow]
21 More Reasons Florida Is The Craziest State - This is what happens when you decide to live on America’s penis. The whole f**king thing is like Twin Peaks. [Buzzfeed]
QUIZ: Lana Del Rey Song Or Thing We Just Made Up? - Bizarre. I wish the backlash on this lady would literally drown her and drag her into the ocean. [HuffPost Comedy]
14 Reasons To Be Excited For The ‘Avengers’ Super Bowl Trailer - Reason 15: there are only 20 super hero movies coming out in 2012, and this is one of them. [Moviefone]
The Most Controversial Super Bowl Ads of All Time - Someone should remake ’1984′ and end it with TO SEE THE REST UNCENSORED, VISIT APPLE.COM. [The FW]
A University of Michigan Student Created a ‘Walk of Shame Shuttle Service’ - I have never once made a walk of shame. I’ve done some Super Happy Early Morning Dancing Down The Sidewalk, though. [Brobible]
The Reality Television Venn Diagram - Who knew there were so many shows about cajuns and hillbillies? [High Definite]