Look at this jerk, he even blocks New Orleans on the map.

As he embraces life without the wonderful Michelle Beadle, Colin Cowherd reminded us yet again that when it comes to spewing opinions about sports, he’s a guy that does that. Cowherd didn’t make any friends in New Orleans earlier this week, after he complained about the prospect of the 2013 NFL Pro Bowl being held in the Big Easy.

Herped and derped ESPN’s popular radio and TV host:

“They have become the default place for everything, and the Pro Bowl is a family event. Players take their families,” Cowherd said. “Players aren’t going to go to New Orleans. New Orleans is not a family destination, it’s a party destination.”

Players aren’t going to go to New Orleans because it’s a party destination. Let that sink in for a minute. But Hawaii and its 12 hookers per square foot is practically a giant Chuck-E-Cheese.

Let’s just get to the meat of Cowherd’s beef:

“It is the least safe major city in the country… not my opinion, statistically the least safe,” he said. “There are only two where locals will tell you, turn around, don’t go that way…Detroit and New Orleans.”

Let’s forget for a second the fact that you can’t invoke statistics and then not offer any statistics, instead saying something as ridiculous as the locals will tell you to f*ck off like, fittingly, in Interview with a Vampire as they’re burning the city to the ground because of the plague. Cowherd’s entire argument boiled down to ignorance, as he eventually added:

“I want a lot of hotel rooms, a great airport, good weather, safety,” Cowherd said. “New Orleans is not top-15 in any of those.”

Naturally, New Orleans officials disagree.

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An election year is the perfect time to point out that the people of the United States can’t agree about anything. We can’t agree on whether or not people should have human rights, we can’t agree on what constitutes conception or murder and we let ‘The King Of Queens’ run for 9 seasons and keep shows like ‘Parks And Recreation’ on the cancelation bubble. We’re emotionally and socially f**ked, but the one thing I think we can all agree on is that the NFL Pro Bowl is the most worthless thing we do annually and nobody would be sad if they kicked it in the ribs and tossed it in the garbage.

It looks like garbage day has finally arrived.

Here’s what ESPN’s Chris Mortensen said to Mike and Mike this morning on ‘Mike and Mike in the Morning’:

“The league is moving toward suspending the Pro Bowl, possibly this year. As one person told me last night, it is DOA, Dead on Arrival. At the same time, the league, I believe, will instruct teams to continue to put Pro Bowl incentives in contracts; if players have Pro Bowl incentives, to go ahead and pay them so they don’t have a problem with the union.

“Right now, the Pro Bowl is on the calendar for the week before the Super Bowl, but there’s no game site that is listed, if you look at it closely. The reason why is, after a lot of discussion, I think this commissioner Roger Goodell and other league people, and even some of the players, are basically saying, as Aaron Rodgers criticized last year’s performance, that there’s no reason to play in the Pro Bowl.”

Everyone’s so okay with this that even the commenters at Shutdown Corner have taken a break from demanding the firing of everyone with blogging privileges to post “yeah the pro bowl sucks get rid of it”.

And Aaron Rodgers is totally right — there is no reason to play in the Pro Bowl, unless you want to add a tiny amount of additional money to your Football Guy moneybin. If they’re going to keep doing it, they need to fun it up a little and make it like an episode of ‘GUTS’. Give everybody flags and nerf balls and maybe kayaks and see who can score the most points before Mo blows the whistle. At least then you’d have the aging ironic viewership, and SOMEBODY would be watching.

By way of Sportress Of Blogitude comes this hilarious/cautionary clip of a young boy asked to participate in Hot Chelle Rae’s 2012 Pro Bowl performance, trying desperately to heed the Myth of Icarus and not fly too close to the musical sun.

Watch closely and see if you can blame him for doing what any of us would’ve done:

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… because seriously, who buys NBA posters anymore? You can’t Fathead somebody. Now you turn them into a trending topic.

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Believe It Or Not, The Pro Bowl Wasn’t Terrible: The Game In Pictures - Hey guys, how about we give 1,500 comments to a fun thing about football for once? [With Leather]

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Please Do Not Follow These 15 Disturbing Tips - Number 16: Please read Busted Coverage. [Buzzfeed]

Best New Netflix Instant Movies for February 2012 - Thanks for your instant streaming, Netflix, it helps justify that hard copy of The King’s Speech I’ve had sitting on my fridge for the last six months. [The FW]

Girls in Gaming: Killing the Cliché with Chelsea - Only an editorial piece about video games could justify “talking to a random stranger who happens to be a woman” as breaking social barriers. ‘Sup, Chelsea? [Unreality]

Here’s Lil Wayne’s Super Bowl Prediction - Big Bear predicts Chicago will show up, do thangs and win by 10. [Brobible]

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One Way Ticket To Snubtown! Breaking Down The Pro Bowl Rosters - When did Ray Lewis get the “you can be in the Pro Bowl forever no matter what” Derek Jeter card, and how do we get it away from him? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

…And Then Rajon Rondo Airballed A Lay-up - Mhoops! This has got to be the most Brandon Stroud Playing Horse shot in the history of the NBA. [Smoking Section]

The Greatest Sportscasting Moments Of 2011 - Jon Bois, WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE! [SB Nation]

Video: In Nate Diaz’s Defense, Donald Cerrone Shouldn’t Have ‘Put His Stupid-Ass Cowboy Hat All Up On’ Him - Stuff like this is way worse than wrestling, I don’t care how real it is. I do not want to see someone get into a shoving match because another guy’s cowboy hat was “all up on him”. [Cage Potato]

Humpday Mashup Dump: Skyrim Edition - I wanted to make an arrow in the knee joke, but I bought the game like two weeks too late and people have microscopic attention spans and a comedic expiration date of “the second time I’ve seen something”. Same thing happened to me with Portal. F**k you, the cake is still funny. [Gamma Squad]

The Weeping At Kim Jong Il’s Funeral Was Predictably Ridiculous - North Korea is more or less the “tough biker guy crying in fear when he sees a puppy” of people in real life. Like, I want to make fun of them, but Jesus, how f**ked up are they? Someone introduce Miley Cyrus to that country, stat. [UPROXX]

‘Modern Family’ Recut As A Horror Movie - Great, now it’s going to win all the SCREAM awards meant for the horror recut of Parks and Rec. [UPROXX]

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Michele Bachmann Saying Literally Anything She Can On Fox News To Feign Iowa Momentum - As bad as things get, at least we can count on never having a lady who acts like this as our President. Terrifying. [Buzzfeed]

This is from last year's Pro Bowl, but you probably didn't even notice. Good job.

You know how every year, when the Pro Bowl comes around, you and your friends are always saying “PSH NO WAY I’M WATCHING THAT IT’S NOT REAL FOOTBALL”? Well, some of you are lying, because this year’s Pro Bowl was the most-viewed one in 14 years. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ROGER GOODELL LOOK COMPETENT?
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