I’ve never been much of a gambler, as I wisely invest my hard-earned money in booze and blackouts. But I do understand that when it comes to the biggest sporting events, gamblers will look to almost anyone or anything for a sign. Hell, not even two years ago we were going bonkers over Paul the Octopus, as he correctly picked Germany’s victory in seven World Cup matches. Alas, Paul’s power had limitations, and he died soon after. Hopefully, it was a delicious, fried and dipped in marinara death.
But fear not, people who depend on strange looking creatures to predict sporting event outcomes. Princess the Camel is here to help guide you now, and if you’re still looking for a sign in choosing a Super Bowl XLVI winner, look no more. Princess says the New York Giants are going to win.
Princess, the star of New Jersey’s Popcorn Park Zoo, has correctly picked the winner of five of the last six Super Bowls. She went 14 and 6 predicting regular season and playoff games this year, and has a lifetime record of 88-51. (Via the Huffington Post)
Dear Fox Sports, think about that the next time you cut Frank Caliendo a check for a sh*tty impression and his thoughts on Jacksonville-Cleveland.
So how exactly does a camel make football predictions? Deliciously.
The Bactrian camel’s prognostication skills flow from her love of graham crackers. Zoo general manager John Bergmann places a cracker and writes the name of the competing teams on each hand. Whichever hand Princess nibbles from is her pick. On Wednesday, she made her pick with no hesitation at all, predicting bad news for Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, even though the Las Vegas oddsmakers have New England favored by about 3 points.
Oddly enough, Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski has a similar method of choosing which porn star he’s going to sleep with. He holds one hand out in front of a group of girls and the first girl to eat the morning after pill out of it goes home with him. Haha, just kidding, he sleeps with all of them! Beat that, Jake Ballard.