With the five living U.S. Presidents and Zombie Taft currently breaking in the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum at Southern Methodist University, where legend has it that Craig James was quite the ladies man, I added some presidential history to my morning reading. Among the things that I learned, it turns out that James K. Polk did not, in fact, coin the phrase “itty bitty titty committee” and today is the 66th anniversary of the opening of the White House Bowling Alley.

According to PBS, this isn’t anything special, but it was actually a nice gesture from President Harry “Man Meat” Truman to the White House’s underappreciated staff.

Although Truman did not play much (he was more into poker), he helped start the White House Bowling League. The bowlers included Secret Service agents and groundskeepers. Unfortunately, the alley was closed in 1955, but a new one was built in the Eisenhower Building.

I researched some of Truman’s history as a poker player, and it seems that he is responsible for approximately 10% of the national deficit, because of his love of chasing straights to the river. F*cking amateur hour.

But as for the bowling thing, I did my own research that goes far beyond anything that PBS and the national Archives have ever done and I recovered an actual photo of the scores from the first game that was ever played by Truman and some of his cabinet members on April 25, 1947. This is absolutely amazing.

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Last we checked in on former Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa, he allowed me to absolutely, 100% legitimately spend two days with him and his new public relations team, as they are trying to attempt to rebuild his image with the hopes of getting him back into the good graces of the incredibly evil Baseball Writers Association of America. Basically, it seems that Sosa wants to get his baseball skeletons sorted out and atone for his sins so he can move on with his life. After all, baseball was very good to him.

Sosa has been opening up a little more since those incredible Flickr and Pinterest photos kicked open the gates of our hearts, and it seems that not only is he intent on being voted into the Hall of Fame, but he also apparently wants the Cubs to accept him back and retire his number. At the very least, though, he doesn’t want to come off as desperate, hence the new image makeover and some very meticulously worded quotes.

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Have you ever wondered what Charles Barkley thinks about America’s Presidents? So far his opinions have been mostly about whether or not he’s a role model (he is not), how everyone who isn’t Charles Barkley plays basketball (turrible), Weight Watchers (it’s a scam) and the Five Buck Box (it rocks, it rocks). Also, hey, have you ever wanted to imagine Ernie Johnson as a slave-master? I know I have.

Please enjoy this soundbite from the Sprint Halftime Report, wherein Sir Charles ranks Abraham Lincoln over his previous favorite, Barack Obama, because Daniel Day-Lewis hasn’t played Obama in a movie. Yet.

“Abe Lincoln’s my new favorite president. Know why? If it wasn’t for him we would be calling Ernie, Boss.”

Part of me wishes Barkley had gone with a less talked-about President (suggestion: “James K. Polk’s my new favorite president. Know why? Because he was the Napoleon of the stump.”), but I understand his choice. Abe was an important guy. He also loved sports, which makes Barkley’s pick even better. Want to know how awesome Abraham Lincoln was at sports? Here’s an historical drawing of him chokeslamming a dude:

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Normally, posts about Taiwan animation sports recaps are pretty straight-forward; Tim Tebow gets literally crucified, a newborn baby flies out of a womb with a handgun or Queen Elizabeth beats a kangaroo to death with a baseball bat. You know, the usual.

With Election Day right around the corner, our pals in Taiwan (and the uncredited nerds and graphic designers in Los Angeles who probably write and actually animate these things on the reg) have gone the extra mile. Instead of simply posting a bunch of videos of Barack Obama riding a tiger into a circus tent and tearing up a bunch of binders full of women, Next Media Animation has crossed over into the video game world and allowed you to control the U.S. Presidential candidates via their grim, violent, barely-drawn avatars.

Not content with showing wacky re-creations of world events, Next Media Animation is now getting viewers into the action.

The “Obama vs Romney Boxing Faceoff” game, released in time for the US election, lets viewers feel the ‘deep affection’ the candidates have for each other. The interactive online experience lets anyone become either President Obama or Governor Romney for a satisfying smackdown of the opponent in a virtual boxing ring. (via NMA.tv)

It’s like that old game where you could beat up Barney the dinosaur, only in 2012 for some reason, featuring people who will control the world. Who cares about the loss of our privacy and freedoms or a rollback on women’s rights when you can get 5-20 seconds of mild enjoyment out of a crudely done, virtual Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots? THIS IS HOW WE ROLL. And in all honesty, I’m surprised Taiwan didn’t whip out this concept for Hurricane Sandy. That thing got memed to death, and I would’ve enjoyed punching an anthropomorphic New York City subway system in boxing gloves.

Anyway, because I don’t have time to make a photo-realistic Romney and Obama in WWE ’13 before tomorrow morning, you can get more information about the game here, and watch a hype video below. They never touch, but their eyes are connected by lightning! AMERICA!

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"Come on, hail to the chief, boo."

After trailing by as many as 10 points to Team Brazil, the U.S. Men’s Olympic Basketball Team had plenty of people laughing at that whole Dream Team debate last night. But Kobe Bryant LeBron James and Co. got the last laugh, as they pulled off an 80-69 victory, sending the Brazilians home to their stupid beaches and ridiculously sexy women. Ha, losers.

So with the win in the books and basketball disaster averted, the nation’s focus on the actual big loser of the night – President Barack Obama, who was booed by the crowd at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC after he and the First Lady failed to smooch it up when the Kiss Cam was pointed at them early in the game. Only after another Kiss Cam attempt in the 4th quarter did Barry-O finally give his lady some sugar, but to many people, it was simply too late.

Look, I know that some people think the Kiss Cam needs to disappear, but I’m an advocate of this tradition that dates back to the 1700s. I’m also here to defend the Obamas, because as With Leather’s Official Presidential Sporting Event Attendance Authority, I know that they’re hardly the first First Couple to ever muff the Kiss Cam opportunity, as evidenced by this collection of awkward moments that I have put together.

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