It’s been a month since we last checked in on Kris Humphries, but everything we usually talk about with him involves his ridiculously inept love life. Fortunately, the NBA free agent forward’s name has finally popped up in some actual, honest-to-gosh basketball news, so let’s see what the heck he’s up to now…

But the Johnson/Wallace/Williams deals, none of which can be official until July 11, would not prohibit the Nets from pitching a sign-and-trade package built around center Brook Lopez, power forward Kris Humph…

WE INTERRUPT THIS NBA FREE AGENCY NEWS TO TAKE A GIANT TMZ DUMP ON YOUR BRAIN.

Sources directly connected with Myla tell us Myla confirmed Monday that she’s 3 months pregnant and says Kris is definitely the father.

This could be used in Kris’ divorce with Kim Kardashian, because Kris has claimed he was devastated by the break-up and suffered emotionally. This development further cements the fact that Kris moved on quickly.

We’re told Myla plans to have the baby but wants to raise it alone, because she believes Kris has betrayed her by talking crap about their relationship.

But here’s the rub … We’re told for the past 3 weeks, Kris and Myla have been communicating regularly.

Oh yeah, here’s the other rub — she hasn’t told Kris yet.

Myla Sinanaj is the really poor man’s Kim Kardashian that Humphries was spotted canoodling with at the beach a while back, despite his claims that they weren’t an item. And now she’s pregnant. Amazing how that works.

You know, there was a voice in my head the whole time, while Humphries was vowing to bring down the Kardashian Kurtain of Oz, that kept saying, “Watch this dude f*ck his divorce up and let Kardashian waltz away with all the gifts and cash that she never returned.” We should have known he’d blow the only opportunity we’d have as a public to watch this leech get hammered in court. I really hope he ends up in Charlotte.

Italy may have had its meatballs snipped off by Spain with a 4-0 loss in the Euro 2012 Final, but that doesn’t mean it’s all misery and depression for Mario Balotelli and Co. In fact, for Italy’s star player, today is filled with nothing but good news, as he has rekindled his failed love affair with soccer WAG Raffaella Fico. So what’d it take to bring these two lovebirds back together? An unexpected pregnancy. Hooray, cupid!

Fico told the gossip rags that she used a pregnancy test to confirm her expectations and she let Balotelli in on the news over the weekend. And it’s really nice to see that Balotelli is manning up and taking responsibility. Hopefully, this time he won’t allegedly cheat on Fico with an expensive English prostitute 5 times, after Wayne Rooney also allegedly had a fling with her.

But if Balotelli can get over everyone reminding him that Fico is just Cristiano Ronaldo’s sloppy seconds, then he can get through anything. After all, it must be pretty hard to say no to this woman.

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There's no more laying on her stomach in the near future.

One of the absolute silliest debates that I’ve ever heard is the blogger bro vs. blogger bro Civil War of Kate Upton vs. Marisa Miller. For me that’s like arguing air vs. water, because we need both to live, damn it. Would you argue your mother against your father? Lobster Dog vs. Douche Dog? Channing Tatum vs. Chet Haze? No! You wouldn’t argue any of these things, because they are all equally important to us.

Now, while so many people have fought this worthless fight, it appears that it has all been for naught. According to US Weekly, Miller has apparently thrown her whole career away.

The supermodel, 33, and her husband, record producer Griffin Guess, 32, are expecting their first child, her rep confirms to Us Weekly. Miller is due late fall.

That is, unless you’re into pregnant women, in which case Upton loses.

If you’re unfamiliar with Guess, he looks like this, so there’s hope for so many of us yet. But we offer our congrats to the happy couple on this new addition to their family with this tribute to page views the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model and NFL spokesperson who stole our hearts so many, many times.

(For best viewing results, please open this song in another window.)

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I will always support Liberal Bee Jays. I hope their farm team is named ‘Agreeing To Anal’. (via SOB)

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Back in January, With Leather’s favorite quarterbro Jay Cutler announced that he and his fiancée, Kristin Cavallari, were expecting their first child. We’re still a few months away from their blessed birth, and most Chicago Bears fans are probably more concerned with Cutler’s thumb injury and his steady recovery, but we’re talking about J-Cutty’s name legacy here. Let’s prioritize, people.

Despite still not being married yet – an already overwhelmed Tim Tebow shakes his head in disapproval – Cavallari told Glamoholic magazine (apparently that’s a real thing) in a recent interview that she’s ready to play receiver for her man’s protein passes at least three more time.

“We’re talking about the possibility of having another kid right away and then getting married so we can have 2 kids close in age.”

“We want 4 kids, so we’re thinking maybe have one more, then get married, then have two more but we’ll see, it all depends on how the first one goes.”

If I had to play Vegas oddsmaker right now, I’d put 2 kids at 15:1, 3 kids at 100:1 and 4 kids at 1,000:1 with those odds doubling each time Cavallari pops a new one out. Seriously, if these two already look like this when they’re getting off a plane from a vacation, imagine what they’ll look like with rugrats in tow.

But I support them, as J-Cutty and I are already solid bro dudes, and I’d like to offer them some advice, from one athlete-celebrity couple to another athlete-celebrity couple.

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"But you're not married yet!"

Great news, bros and babes, our favorite NFL quarterback and dude’s dude, Jay Cutler, is going to be a bro dad. In an exclusive story – that I’m a little offended wasn’t given to me, B-T-Dubs, Jay – Cutler and his fiancée, Kristin Cavallari, told People Magazine that the reality starlet has a bun in the oven.

You know how that happened? Sex.

“We are thrilled to announce we are expecting our first child together,” they tell PEOPLE exclusively. “It’s an amazing time in our life and we can’t wait to meet the new addition to our growing family.”

Cutler and Cavallari were of course previously engaged before they split up and then became engaged again. And while I wish them nothing but happiness, I’d gladly settle for a marriage longer than 72 days.

I did, however, reach out to my boy J-Cutty for an additional inside scoop, because there was no way I was going to let this opportunity slip past my diaphragm. After the jump, I have the official first sonogram of Cutler’s and Cavallari’s baby…

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