When other websites do their power rankings, they’re pointless and stupid. But when we do power rankings, they kick ass. And this time we’re trying out a Jew format where…excuse me, a new format. Each item in our Rankings will have a video for your viewing pleasure, so enjoy that. Let us know what you think of the new moves in the comments. We might have to try this again sometime. Read the rest of this entry »
When other websites do power rankings, they suck like a barium enima. When we do Power Rankings, they kick all kinds of ass.
1. Reggie Watts. The comedian-slash-musician sings a song about pancakes, and it’s completely improvisational. No lyrics, no instruments. It’s quite impressive. And don’t even get me started on that beautiful ‘fro.
9. NFL Blackouts. Two years ago, only one game had been blacked out through the first eight weeks of the season. This season? Thirteen. It’s cheaper to watch Red Zone at home and eat your own nachos.
10. This jagoff. Maverick wore a green flight suit (not navy blue), was in the Navy (not the Air Force) and wasn’t bald. Negative, douchebag. Pattern is full. In closing, your costume sucks balls. Happy Halloween.
6. Buffalo Bills CB Reggie Corner. I just can’t help but be amused by a guy named Corner that actually plays cornerback in the NFL. This is amazing.
7. Mustaches. I’m declaring autumn “mustache season.” Notice that I’m not “officially” declaring it so. Why do some unofficial people try to act otherwise and “officially” declare anything. Screw those people.
The weekly power rankings is a collection of the greatest things that have ever happened…this week.
#1 Tailgating – Grilled meat, alcohol, and football will always be number one in my book. Now I just need to transfer to Arizona State.
#2 Thursday Night TV – My Thursday nights: Jersey Shore, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The League, Community, The Office, with a high chance of Thursday night football. Thank you God, for the greatest thing in the history of man: DVR.
#3 Bacon – Get your children meat hungry at an even younger age with bacon-flavored baby formula. Also, Bacon’s contributions to WL today made my hangover slightly easier. It’s still painful, however.
When other sites do power rankings, it’s some of the worst writing on the planet. When we do Power Rankings, they kick ass.
1. Bacon. Three months ago, bacon was more expensive than in any other month in recorded Amercian history. This has now happened for three months in a row. Sadly, it took the hardship from These Trying Economic Times for bacon to be recognized as the greatest food ever. And, uh, thinning livestock numbers, but whatever.
2. Corgi Friday. Seriously, if this was any cuter, I’d have to lure it back to my windowless van.
3. Rally racer Ken Block. This video is so badass that it makes my head spin; it’s Block navigating a souped up Ford Fiesta through an old Parisian racetrack in a stunt-driving practice called Gykmhana. Just when you’re thinking, “Wow, that was a pretty good video,” you look down and there’s like FIVE MORE MINUTES LEFT. I admit it. I came. Twice. via.
6. Terrelle Pryor’s Good Intentions. Jim Tressel’s quarterback imploring Buckeye fans to take it easy on LeBron James in the event that the NBA star shows up in Columbus for the Ohio State-Miami game. I have a feeling that we will all be witnesses to a terrific shower of boos for James. And one-hopped balls from Pryor. Get your head in the game, son.
7. The non-existence of the brontosaurus. Seriously, this is rocking my world right now.