Power Rankings are pointless and stupid. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.
1. Amanda Harrington. She, apparently, is with leather. Or at least something shiny.
2. Jim Nantz’ ex-wife. Imagine a bitch so insufferable that you’d pay almost a million dollars a year to get away from her. Unreal.
3. Passive-agressive signage. At least this sign won’t ask why you came home so late last night.
4. Asian bikini golf. She never does chip it in, which leaves you plenty of time for your putts.
5. Lakers benchwarmer Sasha Vujacic. Well done, sir. Well done.
6. Andy Reid Photoshops. Great work from the KSK readership here and here.
7. Anne V. We didn’t really get to the New York City marathon this week. But honestly, you didn’t seem too bent out of shape about it…
8. Absinthe. Or “absinth.” Any way you spell it, it’s pants-droppingly badass.
9. Bacon. So good that it’s married to Gwen Stefani.
10. Mark McGwire. He’s doing a lot better than this guy. Hey, I thought Michael Jackson was dead!
Power Rankings are stupid and pointless. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.
1. Slutty Halloween costumes. Anything with sideboob is great. Anything constricting that prevents her from running long distances? Even better.
2. The Phillies. The NL champs managed to split the first two games in New York with the Yankees. Game 3 is tonight in Philly. Is it too late to pick the Phils to win in five?
3. Farting on Brett Favre? Former Packer Gilbert Brown brings a little freshness to the Brett Favre debate.
4. Ugly fans offering sex for tickets. Seriously, if I’m supposed to be hitting this, she’d better be giving me tickets. Among other things…
5. MMA fighters turned porn stars. “War Machine” has taken on a whole new meaning.
6. eBay auctions. Especially those involving “jersey regret.”
7. Drunk Ewoks. They should host the Today show next week. Hey, it’s sweeps month!
8. Bacon. Its appeal is reaching pandemic proportions. When was the last time you fancied the flavors of a fallen friend?
9. Will Leitch. Seriously, how does anyone have a discussion about the St. Louis Cardinals without this guy?
10. Running really long distances when your car is like right there, yo. Seriously, these celebrity marathoners need to jog into a well and fall in already.
Power Rankings are pointless and stupid. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.
1. Anvil Launching. Quite awesome, actually. And quite a masculine outlet for the guy named Gay Wilkinson, who happens to be a champion in this sort of endeavor. You go, Gay!
2. PUNTE’s effortless bojangling. I appeared as a guest on Dan Levy’s “On The DL” Podcast today, and also contributed to Washington Post’s “The League” NFL blog. No wonder I’m so tired. And of course, if you have no life, you can follow me on Twitter.
3. Bacon. Canadian bacon is just like American bacon! Sort of…
4. Brooke Hundley. Somehow this girl became ESPN’s Monica Lewinsky.
5. Josh McDaniels’ football card. I’m no expert, but 3500 percent sounds like a pretty nice ROI.
6. Jewish Dogs? Come on, guys. That’s not kosher.
7. Snorting coke in front of the President. I think David Cross just blew himself.
8. Shoe contracts. I could care less what Marcus Jordan wears, but I love the quandry.
9. Maury Povich. *Opens envelope* You ARE made entirely of cotton!
10. Drinking pee. Let’s hope it’s just a fad.
1. Isla Fisher. Red on the head like a noodle on a poodle. Wait, that’s not sexy at all. But she is.
2. Blogs With Balls In Las Vegas. I’m starting to worry about Punte. But he did pass along this video.
3. NFL Highlights Via Tecmo Bowl. Even though it’s getting played out, I’m still not getting tired of this bit.
4. Tracy Morgan Appearing In Time. Is it totally awesome that Tracy Morgan was in the magazine? Yeah, it’s totally awesome.
5. ESPN Anchors Acting Like They’re On The Carol Burnett Show. A pie in the face? You gotta be kidding me. Seriously, which anchor secretly wishes he was Tim Conway? On the other hand, Josh Elliott wishes he was in Tim Conway, by the way.
6. Owen Schmitt’s Bloody Forehead. There’s not much to say here. Owen Schmitt is completely whacked.
7. Balloon Boy. I’m not kidding. I had no idea this was going on. Is that a bad thing or a good thing? I’m going with good. And what kind of name is Falcon? By name alone, he is condemned to eternal douchetardery. Screw that kid.
8. Anthony Kim. Party on, my Asian brother. Party on.
9. Pervert High School Basketball Coaches. If they’re not whackin’ off in Costco stores, they’re nailing minors. What gives?
10. Mike Tyson On Oprah. I cannot confirm this, but I heard that the Big O gave everyone in the audience a one-way trip to Bolivian. Except for Tyson. He’s already taken up permanent residence there.
Power Rankings are a total waste of time. Except when we do them. Then, they kick more ass than a mule rancher.
1. Kate Beckinsale Sexiest woman alive? Sexiest woman alive.
2. Major Sites Having People Write Blogs As If They Were The Decapitated Head Of Ted Williams. Well, it was FOXSports. These guys are the same folks that keep people like Joe Buck and Terry Bradshaw employed.
3. School Spirit. There’s nothing wrong with a shirt that depicts two horses banging a cheerleader. Or is there?
4. Brett Favre The Immortal. Did you know that Favre is almost 40? Seriously, have you heard that? I’m surprised the national media isn’t covering that angle.
5. Watching Football With John Madden. Nevermind the televisions. Imagine the all the Tinactin you can use and Ace Hardware gift certificates.
6. Philadelphia Fan On Philadelphia Fan Violence. Stabbings are rarely a good thing, but…
7. Living Room Boxing. Who are the ad wizards who came up with this demonstration of brutality? Really, I’d like to shake their hand.
8. Showing People Your Wii. Your Wii history, that is. Pervs.
9. New Games To Play At Work Instead Of Working. I’m not kidding. Animator v. Animation is friggin’ awesome. Say goodbye to productivity.
10. Batman Cartoon Musicals. And Neil Patrick Harris stars in it as the Music Meister? What hasn’t that guy been in lately?
SITE NEWS: Weed AGAINST Speed returns to WL this weekend. Come back tomorrow and Sunday and enjoy his magic.
Power Rankings are a total waste of time. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.
1. A Summer Olympics within one hour of Eastern Daylight Time. Rio de Janerio was awarded the 2016 Games, while American bloggers everywhere either rejoice in Chicago’s failure to deliver the Games back to America, or condemn those rejoicing. Hey, some people don’t care about the Olympics as much as Obama does, okay?
2. Shania Twain. Not terrible-looking at all.
3. Bacon. Haha, Weiner. Uh, just kidding, bro. Rest in peace and stuff.
4. The New Cowboys Stadium. Party ass > Party Pass.
5. Alaska-Fairbanks hockey. That polar bear would destroy anything this side of Voltron.
6. Stripper Poles, Midgets, and Tons of Candy! Cancelling a party featuring little people is always a bad omen for a marriage. Just ask Nicole Kidman. Wait, that really doesn’t make any sense.
7. The Exaggeration Of Kimbo Slice’s Demise. Despite his loss on The Ultimate Fighter, he’s still the central character of that show. His rebound from the defeat and continued training should make for compelling viewing.
8. Better Living Through Non-Sequitur. Thanks to everyone supporting my Andy Rooney character over at KSK. Some people still want God to come back. Join the club. They meet every Sunday.
9. OMG Zack Greinke! Seriously, how do you NOT give this guy the AL Cy Young? Give him the NL Cy Young, while you’re at it. He’s that good.
10. Paper Bags in DC. FedEx Field is about to get a lot more handsome.
