This infographic (“info” graphic) appeared on the flagship television show from the Worldwide Leader in Sports. The image of the infographic comes from Reddit, which is part of the Internet, which in total cannot believe that people are getting paid to whip up shitty infographics like this for the Worldwide Leader in Sports.

The worst part is … well, its existence, but the other worst part is how unhelpful it is. Half of it is super vague. GET TURNOVER. DUNK. STARE DOWN. I don’t think they put all of that on the poster. Posters are singular images, not Sportsflix. And then the true gem, “fast break with Norris Cole.” That’s awfully specific, guys! I guess at ESPN, LeBron James is the only dude who gets to be on posters. I’d love to see Blake Griffin get depressed that nobody’s ever taken a picture of him dunking and demand that the Clippers trade for Norris Cole.

Here’s how to make a pie, courtesy of ESPN:

- buy groceries
- turn on your oven
- ask Dwyane Wade to lob you a cookie sheet
- eat the pie

By now you’ve probably seen it, DeAndre Jordan’s life-altering dunk on Brandon Knight in last night’s ridiculous 129-97 Los Angeles Clippers victory over the Detroit Pistons. Blake Griffin has called it the “Dunk of the Year” and Twitter instantly turned it into the 2013 version of the Dominique Wilkins poster I once had hanging in my bedroom as a kid. Poor Brandon Knight, just minding his own business as he traveled into the paint against one of the NBA’s most aggressive dunkers. Knight can go ahead and take a seat next to John Lucas now, because his career won’t ever be the same.

That’s not hyperbole. Dunks like this change lives, because no matter how well Knight performs the rest of this season or every season beyond until he retires, we’re always going to hear his name and laugh – “You mean the guy that DeAndre Jordan killed?” As fast as we move from meme to meme and GIF to GIF in this Internet era, we never forget. Just like Manny Pacquiao before him, Brandon Knight was dragged through the streets of Meme City last night after that “Just another day at the office” dunk by Jordan.

Read the rest of this entry »