Portland Trail Blazers 97, Dallas Mavericks 92 (Series: 2-1 Dallas)

Wesley Matthews was a mad man for the Portland Trailblazers last night. The Marquette alum was smoking hot early in the game and his team-high 25-points were the deciding factor. Of course it helped that LaMarcus Aldridge, Brandon Roy and Andre Miller combined for 52 points, as well, but Matthews was the spark early on.

As for the Mavericks, hoo boy what a bad game. Jason Terry led the Mavs with 29-points and Dirk Nowitzki added 25, but the rest of the team played like their alarm clock never went off. Jason Kidd, Tyson Chandler and Shawn Marion combined for 19 whopping points to secure their day of shame today.

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Orlando Magic 88, Atlanta Hawks 82

I’m a bit of a conspiracy theorist when it comes to sports, especially the NBA, so indulge me if you will. Last night’s Game 2 matchup between the Orlando Magic and Atlanta Hawks was aired on NBA TV opposite the Boston Celtics-New York Knicks game for one of three reasons:

1) It was a boring game that nobody cared about.
2) David Stern really hates the Magic.
3) The league has lost $300 million in the past year so the network has to make a few bucks somehow.

Despite my tendency to lean to No. 2, the truth is a little of all 3. Regardless, it’s totally asinine to put one of your league’s top stars – Dwight Howard – on a second tier network like he’s George Lopez. But that’s another argument for another day. In the meantime, let’s talk about the main point of the game – the Chicago Bulls are gonna cruise to the Eastern Conference Finals.

I’m not saying the Magic and Hawks are bad, but Colin Firth called them bland. When JJ Redick is the high point of a game, even Lifetime is too good of a venue for these teams. But they have to play, so it is what it is. In the meantime, there’s really only one aspect of last night’s game that is worth noting, and it’s not Howard’s 42nd career playoff double-double in 53 postseason appearances.

Gilbert Arenas makes roughly $20 million a year to be the worst player I have ever seen in my life. He’s Steve Francis bad if Steve had no legs. Even worse, the Magic are rumored to be restructuring Gilbert’s contract to keep him in Orlando for 5 more years. At some point he and I are going to have to sit down and discuss the problems between us. I just hope there’s not a crowbar anywhere near me.

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Sit down, hold on to your hat, and kiss your loved ones goodbye, because I’m about to blow your mother-fluffing mind – Greg Oden is out for the season. The Portland Trail Blazers center, who hasn’t played for the team that drafted him No. 1 overall in 2007 since December 5 of last season, will have surgery on his left knee, which is the same knee that kept him out of last season. But don’t worry, it’s not the same injury, so maybe he’ll heal everything over the next 11 months and come back an unstoppable force next season. Haha, just kidding, I’ve been drinking Four Loko since midnight.

Oden injured his left patella during last season and required surgery to fix that, and prior to that he missed time because of surgery to his right knee. Before that he missed time with a severed spine, and in high school he missed six games with acute decapitation. While playing in middle school, Oden missed two weeks with mesothelioma, and in AAU he was declared legally dead for two playoff games over the span of 72 hours. Also, Greg missed two months as a fetus due to turf toe.

How’s this No. 1 draft pick working out for the Blazers again, KGMI News?

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Portland Trailblazers star Brandon Roy has issued an apology for his appearance in a new rap video from “artists” Cali and Cavalli for their hit(?) “What They Want.” As you can see below, the video deals with some criminal elements and less than desirable behavior. I’m talking about wearing clothing that endorses Spain. This is America, Cali and Cavalli. Love it or leave it.

Regardless, Roy has apparently recognized that it’s not a good practice to openly associate with stuff like drug use and criminal behavior, even if it is just in a fictional artistic medium. Jamal Crawford also appears in the video, but he hasn’t issued an apology. Probably because there’s nothing to apologize for. Well, unless you’re Tipper Gore. *high fives 1980s political satire*

SLAM! Duuh duuh duuh, let the boys be boys, Fanhouse:

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Most NBA players like to head out after a tough road game to sample whatever local strange might be available. The Portland Trail Blazers Rudy Fernandez, playing with his team in Dallas last night, didn’t have to wait that long.

During a timeout with 41 seconds left in regulation, two women walked onto the court and into the Trail Blazers huddle. One woman wrapped her arms around the waist of Blazers guard Rudy Fernandez from behind. Fernandez, who was not in the game but focused on the plays being diagrammed by coach Nate McMillan, was stunned.

The women were ushered away from the huddle, and amazingly allowed to return to their courtside seats under the basket and watch the remainder of the game, which went to overtime. –The Oregonian, via Inside Hoops.

How could security pass up a chance to tackle a couple of intoxicated women? The safety of the players on the court is paramount. Those women should have been ushered to a private area and searched thoroughly for weapons. Uh, for security purposes. We can’t be too careful, especially when we’re this horny and drunk with power.

Quick follow-up to our Greg Oden post from yesterday: the Blazers big man came out and apologized for the pictures that made the rounds on the internet. The long and the short of it is that Oden took the phots about a year-and-a-half ago for some woman; he found about his big moment via 6 AM phone call yesterday. There’s a morning wood joke in there someplace but I’m already running behind today. There’s video of the presser on Deadspin (I like calling them pressers; sue me), but really, his face really doesn’t deviate from this expression throughout the whole two minutes. I guess he’s a man of few words. Many inches, but few words.