Part of my job as the author of the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column is finding things to love about pro wrestling, and I’ve started namedropping Anarchy Championship Wrestling so much I had to give them their own tag.

They’re my local promotion, running shows ranging from blood-soaked mayhem to full-scale wrestling proms regularly in an open-air bar on Red River in downtown Austin, Texas, but I can’t personally taking every Best and Worst reader by the hand, drag them into a mid-Texas bar and show them how great it is. Wrestling DVDs aren’t always cheap, and ACW doesn’t put a lot of content — at least not a lot of their best content — on the tubes. Even the tubes wouldn’t suffice. I own a handful of ACW shows, but nothing has ever come close to being there live.

Well, thanks to some amazing work by The Daily Texan I’ve got a much better approximation. The above video is a beautifully shot three-or-so minutes filmed at their most recent show and gets across a few things I can’t convince you of enough with words … the unparalleled athleticism of ACH (the next big thing in independent wrestling, and probably wrestling in general), the insanity of never being able to sit for very long because someone’s being thrown face-first at your chair, and the very understated humanity and fellowship of it all. Plus, Portia Perez shows up. And so do I at the 1:38 mark. I’m the only person nerdy enough to show up to a wrestling show in a Minor League Baseball hat.

So yeah, check it out. Fall in love with it, then come to Austin and watch a show with me. Maybe pick up a DVD. It helps knowing that no matter how bad the dumb niche thing we like gets, there’s always someone out there reinventing it, making it better, and it helps to know that when I’m namedropping this sh*t I’m doing it for a reason.

Pre-show notes:

- If you love The Rock and think he’s the best wrestler of all time, be sure to leave us a comment. That should cover my commenting hype-beg for the week and entitle every living human who isn’t me or Billy Jack Haynes to post something.

- An important thing to remember while reading this report is that I had a weekend literally full of awesome wrestling. I spent Friday night and Saturday and Sunday mornings at Wizard World Austin loitering around Darin Childs’ table in the 1600 aisle, commissioning professional art from my favorite wrestler in the world. Saturday night I went to Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s Lone Star Classic, which featured Portia Perez winning their heavyweight title only to lose it an hour later. ACH ended up with it, which was the second happiest thing that could happen. Also, the Nasty Boys were there. Sunday was CHIKARA’s High Noon iPPV. I was too worn out by then to cover it effectively, but it was one of the best shows of the year and Peck/Cabana II was simultaneously the best and worst match in history. So then Monday night comes along, and it’s three hours of Raw getting Rocked. My brain may not be processing this correctly.

- Oh, and before I forget, after the jump you can see four of my five (or six) favorite WWE Superstars appearing in one segment together on Friday’s Smackdown. Why am I not Besting and Worsting this show instead?

Read the rest of this entry »

This is what happens when you get excited about meeting a Power Ranger.

Links

Funny, Sexy And Austin Cosplay Of The Week: The Best of Wizard World - Relive my hilarious/awesome/unnerving weekend at Austin Convention Center, asking people if I could take a picture of their costume. It’s my Gamma Squad debut (and probably the only thing they’ll ever let me write), so please don’t miss it. [Gamma Squad]

Frank Miller Is A Delusional, Curmudgeonly Old A-Hole - I’m with Vince on the “you’re a delusional asshole” parts, but not on the “your comics are bad” part or especially the “The Spirit was bad” part. The Spirit is so good and I’m living in an empty universe of people who agree. [Film Drunk]

ACW: An Appreciation - The best part of Wizard World for me was loitering around the Anarchy Championship Wrestling table and bothering the wrestlers. To the immediate right of this is my favorite wrestler in the world, Portia Perez, finger-painting something for me. My heart is on fire. [The Wrestling Blog]

Jay-Z Hails As GQ Magazine’s “King Of The Year” - I’m sure this will do wonders for his ego. [Smoking Section]

Don’t Worry Guys, Gina Wasn’t Pregnant - Whew! Now I just need to make sure Phoenix from American Gladiators hasn’t gotten pregnant and we’re straight. I’m going to go see your bad movie, Gina! [Cage Potato]

R.I.P. The Fake ‘Jack & Jill’ Twitter Account - I really wanted that EXCOOLSIVE ringtone. :( [UPROXX]

Football Guys: Mark Sanchez Comes Of Age - Jon uses his football version of The Dugout to make an extended joke about Mark Sanchez looking like Kevin Arnold in his Jets jacket. The kind of thing you should click and fawn over immediately. [SB Nation]

Coonskin Cap Witness: Florida or Ohio? - The best part of a coonskin cap is that we still call it “coonskin”, instead of just “stupid raccoon hat”. I think when you get to the point where you’re saying “I want to wear something’s entire body as a hat” you’re f**ked. [Warming Glow]

A Very Young Stephen Colbert In FirsTier Bank Commercial - His career lasted longer than that bank’s. [Buzzfeed]

10 Reasons Life in Skyrim Will Be Better Than Real Life - You know what I hate about real life? Not being able to stop every five seconds and scroll through a huge menu of options, then leave the menu, hit a button, then go right back to the menu. [Adult Swim]

The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A Photo Essay - The Greatest Generation. [FARK]

Remembering Eddie Guerrero - The “Hurt” video loses its emotional impact now that we see Chris Benoit and Vickie Guerrero as different people, but still, losing Eddie was the worst and we shouldn’t ever forget how great he was. [The John Report]

via TexasAnarchy.com

Links

ACW: Beyond Good & Evil 2011 - You really want to see Rachel Summerlyn dressed as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You really do. You also want to see her dressed as Cookie Monster, and both of those things happen here. Austin pro wrestling rules hard. [DirtyDirtySheets]

The Best Wrestling Features/Sites I Don’t Write For - Linking this 80% because of the Chickbusters picture, 15% because Tom Holzerman is a nice guy and 5% because my Raw column is the first one on the list. Cough. [The Wrestling Blog]

The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal For 10/31/11 - Another interpretation of Muppet Raw (in case you didn’t dig all the animated gifs) from a good man who may or may not have something to do with me going to Wrestlemania next year. [John Report]

Oh, So This Is Why Some People Hate Occupy Wall Street - It’s sad that sane, tolerant young people so rarely have a natural, charismatic spokesperson instead of having their opinions communicated by a lady in ironic Sally Jesse Raphael glasses. Oh well, my girlfriend and I have been doing the “like” and “dislike” fingers all day. [Warming Glow]

‘Community’s’ Remedial Chaos Theory Gets A Board Game - I’m glad they finally have an episode better than paintball. Also, disappointed that Tumblr hashtags don’t equate to ratings. [UPROXX]

21 Jump Street Has A Red Band Trailer - I wish they’d do red band-necessary remakes of everything. Like, somebody splice back in controversial cut footage from Josie and the Pussycats and make it the greatest teen-ish sex romp of all time. [Film Drunk]

LOLNFL: Week 8 - Tim Tebow, you’ve got to stop doing that prayer pose, it’s making it too easy for people to blaspheme. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Want A Murder Victim’s Batman Collection? - Sure, why not? Does he have A Death In The Family? [Gamma Squad]

Justin Bieber’s Ghost Writer Is Never Going To Hell - Of COURSE he wrote this. This is the guy who sang a song with the line “I should be chillin’ with my folks, I know” in it because he can’t write his own song about Christmas. He totally wrote this. [Smoking Section]

Jon Jones Agrees That Jon Jones Is The Michael Jordan Of MMA - If this leads to a movie where Jon Jones has to shootfight the Monstars, I’m all for it. That would probably be the best movie ever. [Cage Potato]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Pro-Visions Part 2, Or, What Sport Are You Even Playing? - Worth it for Tom Glavine playing hockey in what I can only assume is Heaven. Also, Tim Salmon, get it? [SB Nation]

Trust me, I wanted to use that screen cap of her and McNulty from “The Wire”, but there are certain things I’m not allowed to do on this website. Uh, yet.

Sports

Terrell Owens Joins USA’s Necessary Roughness - I can’t wait to hear “NFL great Terrell Owens guest stars on an all new Necessary Roughness! USA, characters welcome!” between two Twix commercials during every single break on Monday Night Raw. [AOL TV]

Fantasy Football Goes Hollywood: The KSK Sex/Fantasy Mailbag - HONESTY: “I’m glad we’re exclusive, because you’re the only person I want to be with.” DISCLOSURE: “Now that we’re exclusive, here is a list detailing which of my friends have ejaculated in my mouth.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

MMA Movie Alert: Think The Karate Kid But With An Autistic Cage Fighter - Honestly, that’s sorta how I think about The Karate Kid already. Remember in the 80s when there were suddenly 15 movies about pro wrestling, and none of them got any better than No Holds Barred? Yep, that’s what we’re doing again. [Cage Potato]

Epic ACW Queen of Queens Tournament 2011 Pics By Bowie Ibarra - Included here for three reasons: (1) Bowie is a cool guy, so I want to throw him some love, (2) I love my Anarchy Championship Wrestling dearly, and (3) I make a cameo appearance, and yes, it is part of my continuing efforts to make Portia Perez like me. [Zombie Blood Fights]

With Leather

Redneck Olympics Vs. The U.S. Olympic Committee - I’m going to be honest, that trashy girl on the left probably #cangetit. I have weird standards where my girlfriend is sophisticated and gorgeous, but inner 14-year old me thinks these hillbilly girls and their 3-year window of hotness before they turn into toothless, tattooed monsters makes them desirable. Stupid rural upbringing. [With Leather]

Reggie Bush Is Pretty Sad About Losing Everything - I’m not sure what I’d say in even one text message to Kim Kardashian. “Hey, I’ve seen your show, I don’t like it. Your butt is big, write me back.” Okay, so I know exactly what I’d say. [With Leather]

@Storytime: Pat Hanlon Loses His Goddamn Mind - Don’t sleep on this edition of @Storytime, wherein a grown adult man retweets everyone in the world and adds “kiss my ass, butthole!” before it. Update: It is Friday, and the sun is still shining. But I’m in Texas, so I don’t know what’s going on over there. [With Leather]

The Chickbusters In Hipster Glasses - It’s a link to yesterday’s morning links, sure, but that picture of Kaitlyn in wayfarers is going to stay with me for weeks. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Deal With It GIFs: Pop Culture Edition - Deal With It GIFs are the best way to end a conversation, because they go in one ear and out the other like you posted blank space. Additionally, why do we live in a world where animated pictures are important to conversations? [UPROXX]

Flowmotion: 33 Rapid Fire Rap Songs - “Now we know y’all be lovin’ this … right here, L-I-M-P, Bizkit is right here. People in the house put them hands in the air, cause if you don’t care, then we don’t care!” – author unknown |Smoking Section|

15 Scariest Photos of Steven Tyler - Also acceptable, “all photos of Steven Tyler”. Why can’t we do the 15 best pictures of Liv Tyler, or better still, Mia? [Unreality]

Woman Can’t Stop Eating Dead Husband - Headlines that work. [Warming Glow]

No numbers this week, but I do have some bullet points.

- We didn’t get to our 200 comments goal for last week, but thank you to everyone who reads these every week and takes the time to comment. I really appreciate it, and the Voice Of The Voiceless is an important part of what makes these columns worth reading. I can’t form a decent opinion without weighing it against the opinions of my peers. I think that’s constructive, and the last thing I want to be with a wrestling column is deconstructive. So drop a comment, share this on your Facebook, Tweet about it, send Kaitlyn a sternly worded e-mail about how she has rational, normal fans who don’t want to take her to Heaven, they just want to talk about wrestling, and possibly bodybuilding.

- If you don’t want to click through the pages, here’s the short version: Triple H

- I think the podcast is going to get started in the next couple of weeks, so if you’ve got any pro wrestling connections or are a literate, wonderful pro wrestling personality yourself (Kyle Durden, I’m looking in your direction) contact me via e-mail or over Twitter and let’s start setting up some appearances. Finally, a wrestling podcast! Why didn’t anyone else ever think of that?