Adult actress Diamond Foxxx is a true Pittsburgh Steelers fan, and in the spirit of the Super Bowl XLV season, she’s offering other Steelers fans the opportunity to celebrate with her if their team wins the Lombardi Trophy. However, while most Pittsburgh fans will be celebrating with beer, beer, and a lot more beer, Foxxx will be celebrating with more fellatio than she can handle. Haha, just kidding, she can handle it.

Foxxx has extended an open invite to her Twitter followers to come celebrate with her by getting a free mouth hug if the Steelers win their 7th championship. But not so fast, dudes who would travel to stand in line to receive oral sex with a bunch of other dudes. There are a few rules that you must follow. I know, I know, nobody likes their skanks to be picky.

Open wide and say, “Oh man, that’s gross” AVN… (NSFW for an image of a natural beauty with average-sized breasts)

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Last we heard from adult actress and dipsh*t business entrepreneur Devon James, she had been accused of paying boxer Teneal Goyco to dress up as Tiger Woods as part of her fantasy to sleep with the embattled golfer. The result of that plot was believed to be James’ alleged sex tape that she claims she has had for much longer. Well now it seems there’s not even a sex tape with a fake Tiger, but that’s not stopping James from trying to profit in general.

Devon and her husband Nick James have filed for bankruptcy in Florida (where the hell else would these people live?) and in doing so have admitted that there’s simply no sex tape at all. The problem with that is – at least to sticklers of things like the law – they’re still selling a sex tape on their web site and collecting money for it. That’s called fraud and now the James Gang(bang) is being investigated by Florida authorities. You know, once they’re done filing restraining orders against the son of God.

Hey Chicago Sun-Times, wanna buy my sex tape of me and my sock… er, I mean, Rachel Bilson?

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Meech over at The Fightins caught a listen of Howard Stern this morning, who apparently is still alive. One of Stern’s guests was porn star Sophia Rossi, the former girlfriend of Phillies outfielder Pat Burrell. Her visit is summarized below, in what might be my favorite paragraph of the day:

During her segment, she also stated that this happened a long time ago (good news for Pat’s wife!) and said that Pat was “very immature.” Then she sat on a gigantic vibrating machine and had a very loud orgasm.

Yes, a porn star called somebody immature. How is anyone supposed to stand in front of those funbags all day with a straight face? And why the hell is everyone in porn called a “star?” Especially when I’ve never heard of any of them. If they were stars, they wouldn’t be doing porn, now would they? And what’s the deal with airline food? Hello? Is this thing on?

Devoted weekend readers know I'm enthralled by bowling, while fans of Saint Andrew's Net have surmised I also enjoy lovely girls who have a penchant for shedding their clothes. And so, from Page Six comes this exciting news:

PORN queen Gina Lynn caused chaos for Howard Stern TV executive producer Doug Goodstein after she leaked the secret location and shoot date for their on-demand "Bowling Beauties" series on her MySpace page. A number of fotogs inundated Goodstein with requests to shoot the event at Chelsea Piers, which will feature 16 porn stars, including Savanna Samson, and Penthouse Pets Krista Ayne and Justine Jolie bowling in bikinis and stiletto bowling shoes. The show will be taped Tuesday and debut May 12.

I don't watch Howard Stern, and I don't listen to him on the radio. I can't afford cable TV, so I'm certainly not going to subscribe to satellite radio. First of all, Carl Everett told me that satellites can't exist, and free radio is still pretty good (did you know that the Spin Doctors are classic rock now?). Oh well, I'll guess I'll have to wait for clips of this show to appear on the interwebs. Until then, there are some fine pics of lovely Kristen Bell on that link, while there are some racy photos of lovely Gina Lynn (above) everywhere. What's a dedicated onanist to do? Pray for re-runs of Veronica Mars? -KD