Before the NBA Finals began, there was some talk about two adult film actresses who had pledged to perform oral sex on all of their combined Twitter followers if the Miami Heat won the championship. I didn’t bother looking to see who the two starlets were, because I knew that they weren’t Kayden Kross or Andy San Dimas, so it didn’t matter to me. I mean, I was at church and I don’t know who those girls are or… whatever, it’s Friday.

The actual ladies in question are Angelina Castro and Sara Jay (semi-NSFW) – pictured above in their own crudely photoshopped tribute to the Heat – and according to their Tweets from last night, drop yo pants, fellas. And bring some Purell.

Ew. Everything about this. Just, ew.

I’d love to see the guys who show up to this, though. Real winners in that crowd, I’d expect. Probably wearing Mike Miller jerseys.

But I’m not one to crap on honest-to-goodness sports fans, so congrats, Sara Jay and Angelina Castro! Congrats, Miami Heat fans! Congrats, LeBron James and Chris Bosh! And congrats Centers for Disease Control!

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As we touched on yesterday, the NHL and NBC are having a little trouble getting people to watch the Stanley Cup Finals, mainly because New Jersey and Los Angeles don’t have the biggest fan bases, but also because nobody knows what channel the games are on. It also doesn’t help that the NBA has ridiculous conference finals series happening right now either.

But something happened during last night’s Game 4 of the Cup, and I’m not talking about the Devils mustering everything they had to pull out a 3-1 victory and stay alive against the molten-lava-hot Kings. I’m talking about the epic juggery (above) that showed up next to Devils coach Peter DeBoer’s head.

Turns out them chesticles belong to none other than adult film starlet Tay Stevens, and I’d like to take this moment to send an important memo to the NHL brass – MORE PORN STARS AT GAMES, PLEASE. After the jump, get to know Stevens a little better (semi-SFW) thanks to her Twitter account.

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To celebrate her 24th birthday and status as Penthouse’s June Pet of the Month, Alexis Ford invited more than a dozen of her peers to party with her at With Leather’s unofficial headquarters, Rick’s Cabaret, in New York City. You may know Ford from her work in such adult classics as This Ain’t Jaws XXX, Cheerleaders Academy 1 and 2, Women Seeking Women 55, Captive Costume Queens and, of course, Brave Businesswomen’s Bondage Peril. I own two copies of that last one.

And while Ford apparently forgot to send a couple of invites to us, her party was ultimately the place to be, as evidenced by a little birdie telling us that one professional baseball player was quite adamant about meeting the star of Squirt Girl.

Elise added, “There was a famous baseball player who started the night in the Champagne Lounge on Rick’s Cabaret’s first floor, and he heard about the party upstairs and asked if he could meet Ms. Ford. When he met her he gave her a loving bear hug and whispered something into her ear that made her smile.”

We asked Rick’s Cabaret New York spokesman Lonnie Hanover to identify the baseball player, but he declined, saying “We respect everyone’s privacy at Rick’s Cabaret.” (Our research shows that the Tampa Bay Rays were in town against the Yankees.)

“Rick’s Cabaret Girl Alundra purred, “I got to give the birthday girl a dance and it was a thrill. Alexis Ford is so sexy. I wanted to rip her clothes off.”

I just remembered that I forgot to get my morning coffee, but I’ll have to wait a few minutes for that now. In the meantime, we can play my favorite new game: “Which Baseball Player Snuck Into Alexis Ford’s Birthday Party?”

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The other day we celebrated New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski for his shameless use of Twitter as a way to hit on ridiculously attractive women, like our beloved Kate Upton. In fact, Gronk’s Twitter use led him straight into the arms of adult film actress Bibi Jones last weekend, while the Patriots were enjoying their bye week. Jones claims that nothing happened between the two, that Gronk always carries his jersey with him so he can take pictures of girls wearing nothing but it, and that all they did was watch her movies together… with 5 other guys. I know, it’s a little too much for me to put together in my head this morning, too.

But the national media has, without any surprise in the world, blown this story up into something way beyond how cool Gronk is. Most of the old school reporters and columnists see this as deplorable behavior and have brought down their hammers of Murrow with rage upon the single 22-year old eventual millionaire. Sadly, they won, because after meeting with Patriots owner Robert Kraft, Gronk has issued an apology.

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Or perhaps that title should read: “Rob Gronkowski knows how to spend a bye week.” Either way, if you’re not familiar with the New England Patriots’ tight end’s Twitter account, let me give you a super brief synopsis – he likes to hit on hot girls. For example, Gronk has famously tried to spark a blood rivalry with me by hitting on Kate Upton via the Tweets. He also hit on Rihanna, but she just spent $2,000 in a sex shop, and quite frankly I imagine it’s like throwing a Tic Tac into the Holland Tunnel.

Lately, though, Gronk has a new Tweety lady in adult film star Bibi Jones, whom he paid a visit to over the weekend, leading to her posting the above photo. She also posted a photo of her with Gronk shirtless (after the jump) which leads to my math problem of the day:

(Horny NFL star – shirt) + (porn actress – shorts) x (porn actress wearing NFL star’s jersey + any man’s fantasy of a girl wearing only a jersey)^2 = They did it

Alas, Ms. Jones says that my math is faulty.

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Like this, but with just a little more sexual tension.

Skydiving instructor Alex Torres has found himself out of a job and under investigation by the Federal Aviation Administration after a recent stunt that he pulled off with the help of Skydive Taft administrative assistant, Hope Howell. Last weekend, the duo woke up early and took off in a company plane for a little tandem dive… *plays Barry White song* … and they had sex all over the sweet morning sky.

Torres, who I should also mention is an adult film star known as “Voodoo,” and Howell began having sex in the plane before jumping out and continued bumping uglies a few thousand feet over the city of Taft, California, all to get the attention of Howard Stern. And while no police charges are being filed because “no one complained,” the sex act apparently upset one teenage boy, and now the FAA is investigating Torres and Howell because:

“Anyone who allows an activity to occur that could affect his or her ability to concentrate on flying the aircraft or could result in the pilot being physically jostled or lose control of the aircraft could constitute a violation of federal aviation regulations.” – Ian Gregor, FAA Spokesman

Oh come on, Bobby Buzzkill. This is just the man trying to keep us down and flaccid. All that’s happening here is a case of a kid who didn’t like the mean man choking the woman’s bottom mouth so he told on them. And last time I checked, you can’t really punish two people for doing something that there’s not really any proof they did. It’s not like there is video of the whole thing going down.

Haha, just kidding, there’s totally video.

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