In case you’re unfamiliar with the medium, Tumblr is a very interesting blogging network that allows people to post and re-post pictures, videos, music, writing, art, etc. while connecting with each other like a traditional social media outlet. It’s also essentially a condensed version of the entire Internet, sort of like grocery store sample trays of everything the Web has to offer, including pornography and some of the most insane fan fiction that you would never, not in one million years, believe that people could write.

But it does. It’s mind-boggling, and every time I find something that pushes my boundaries of insane, I make sure to send it along to Danger Guerrero and Josh Kurp so I’m not the only one who has to live with it. This latest discovery, though, is one that I’m sharing with all of you, because it involves a WWE Superstar whom we all pretty much like in World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio, and it also involves adult film actresses, which some of you like as well. *points to everyone*

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Brooklyn Nets guard Deron Williams is still reveling in the limelight of Team USA’s gold medal run at the 2012 Summer Olympics, as he added his star power to the Barclays Pro-Am golf tournament last week. At some point during his appearance at the golf tournament that bears his new arena’s name, Williams ran into former President and Gold Medal Poonhound Bill Clinton, as Williams Tweeted the above photo on Sunday. Unfortunately, it was not taken at a strip club, which is where I like to think all Clinton pictures should be taken.

For the Pro-Am, Williams was paired with Masters champion Bubba Watson, and it’s worth mentioning that Watson and Rickie Fowler won the 2012 Awesomest Golfers in the World award, as Watson agreed to stay in a house with three U.S. soldiers who had been wounded in combat, and Fowler had Air Force staff sergeant Nick Bradley serve as his caddy. Bradley was injured in an IED attack in Afghanistan four years ago, and doctors told him that he’d never walk again. So it’s pretty awesome that he was out there caddying a full round of golf. Because of that, I wish that it had been Watson or Fowler in the picture with Slick Willy. Or, you know, Nick Bradley.

Alas, it was just Williams. And while I still thought that was pretty cool, I remembered that it’s definitely not the coolest picture that Clinton has ever taken. No, that photo was taken back in May.

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Back in June, we introduced you to Angelina Castro and Sara Jay, two adult film actresses who also happen to be the world’s biggest Miami Heat fans. Well, they made a promise to their several hundred thousand Twitter followers that if the Heat won the NBA Finals, they’d perform oral sex on all of their followers who showed up to a specific location on August 2. That day has since passed, and a few readers asked me, “Hey Burnsy, we know you only date Perfect 10 models, but did this event actually happen?”

You bet your Adult Friend Finder membership it did.

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We’re less than a month away from the most important basketball event of the summer, and it appears that the NBA is trying to ruin the fun for everyone. I’m not talking about the 2012 Summer Olympics, because I’m an American who lives with the foregone conclusion that Team USA will destroy every other basketball team, so the importance of such an event is lost on me.

No, I’m talking about two diehard Miami Heat fans who simply want to show the world how much they love their team by orally pleasing any man who wants to stand in a line and watch every guy in front of them get a beej. I believe that’s called the American dream. But the NBA doesn’t share that dream, because apparently the new league slogan is “Where hummers don’t happen”.

At least that’s what this statement from the league’s lawyers is telling Sara Jay and Angelina Castro.

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Texas A&M and Missouri are currently in their honeymoon period before they begin playing in the new and even more improved SEC, and things are already to an, um, interesting start. First, there was this little tidbit about someone’s photoshop tribute to the Missouri Tigers and the Confederacy, which had Mizzou athletics in a little bit of an uproar with my buddy @ParadigmShift35. But then the Aggies decided to make things really awkward, like whenever I take off my pants at Disney.

I don’t really have much to say about the video after the jump, because no description I can write for it will do it justice. It’s almost like they’re already rolling over and shouting, “As long as the championship stays in the conference!” Because that’s an awesome battle cry.

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Last week, we brought you the heartwarming Disney story of Sara Jay and Angelina Castro, the two adult film starlets who promised to suck off all of their Twitter followers if the Miami Heat won the NBA Finals. Well, the Heat won, so it’s time to start those Hoovers up, ladies. But if you had Sara and Angelina pegged as liars, guess what? You’re hella wrong, son.

On August 2, at a yet-to-be-decided location, Sara and Angelina are going to strap on the knee pads and go from suck to blow and back. So if you’re one of their followers and you want to stand in line to get a beej, stay tuned to their Twitters. Oh, before you get all bonered up, let’s discuss a few rules first.

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