Floyd Mayweather, Jr. recently defeated Robert Guerrero to retain the WBC Welterweight title, win the vacant The Ring Welterweight title, improve to 44-0 all-time, and possibly also shut Ruben Guerrero’s mouth once and for all. But more than anything, the victory helped keep Mayweather’s nickname, “Money”, relevant because for the second consecutive year, Mayweather is projected to be the highest-paid American athlete.

According to Sports Illustrated’s Fortunate 50 list, Mayweather beat out LeBron James, Drew Brees, Kobe Bryant and Tiger Woods, among others, to top this year’s list, as he will make an estimated $90 million by the end of the year. What’s amazing about that total is that not a single penny of it comes from endorsements.

But seeing that list reminded me of something that a friend recently passed along to me. If Mayweather doesn’t make any money from endorsement deals, does that mean that he allowed his image to be used in this delightful porn ad for free?

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As I mentioned last week, the Air Sex National Championships went down in Austin, TX, on Friday night. If you’ve never seen Air Sex, it’s a (for lack of a better term) head-to-head competition where performers execute no-holds-barred imaginary f**k-sessions on stage for the enjoyment of an audience of folks trying not to throw up. Brooklyn Decker was there in the crowd, apparently. I was on stage as a judge, because (1) I’ve been lucky enough to judge a few of these during its most recent touring schedule, and (2) I am not even ABOUT to pretend-hump something in front of Brooklyn Decker.

I put together a gallery of the show’s best and most iconic images (with the help of my good buddy Lex Lybrand of Wear The Cheese), and here’s a quick guide to what you’ll see as you flip through it:

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This isn’t really anything new. Each year, at least one controversial company submits a Super Bowl commercial for airtime approval and it is shot down because no matter what the content is, the network wants nothing to do with that company. It could be a 5-second spot of an open field, but as long as that 5-seconds concludes with a NAMBLA logo, that spot will never see airtime. That’s why it comes as no surprise that CBS shot down PornHub’s oh-so-innocent 20-second spot for Super Bowl 47.

The spot, which you can view after the jump, features two old people sitting on a bench. That’s it. Well, there’s also some light music, but there’s nothing else out of the ordinary that might suggest, say, amateur bondage or a Brazilian fart fetish, but the mere inclusion of that PornHub logo is a dead giveaway that no network would have even taken a second glance.

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New rule: when somebody asks you a question on Twitter, run every word of it through the Urban Dictionary. Otherwise, you’re like the New York Mets, stuck talking about how awesome it is when people creampie you. Quick, somebody try to convince them that “cuckold” is an old-timey term for being “scrappy.” (h/t to Media Rantz)

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Links

Eliza Coupe Loves Jack White, Hates Cats, Thinks A Lot About What Her Last Meal Would Be |UPROXX|

Jennifer Lawrence’s ‘SNL’ Promos Prove That She’s An Angel Sent By A Lunatic God |Warming Glow|

Die Hard Director John McTiernan is Headed to Awesome-Sounding Prison |Film Drunk|

Here’s An Emotional Breakdown Of Oregon Ducks Fans Today Presented By Ralph Wiggum |With Leather|

Makers of ‘Dead Island’ Offer Bloody Boob Statue With Their Game, Are Shocked When People Are Offended |Gamma Squad|

100-Word Review: Wu-Block’s Self-Titled Album |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL 2012-2013: Divisional Weekend |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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By now you may have heard that former Cincinnati Bengals and Miami Dolphins wide receiver Chad Johnson has a sex tape floating around out there. Maybe you’ve already stopped by to visit our cooler cousins at Kissing Suzy Kolber to check out the NSFW clip that most definitely proves that Johnson’s newest career venture is indeed pornography. And maybe you’ve even already read that Johnson has admitted that the sex tape exists.

Oh, but of course he didn’t leak it.

We’re told Chad has no idea how the tape leaked to the Internet … but insists he wasn’t behind it … and now he’s exploring his legal options in hopes of having the tape removed from the web ASAP.

So far, it doesn’t appear the entire video has made it’s way into cyberspace — only bits and pieces — but we’re told the entire tape is “substantial in length” … (Via TMZ, where “it’s” is the new “its”)

Sure. Chad didn’t leak it. I mean, why on Earth would he ever want to leak his own sex tape? After all, this is the guy who allegedly head-butted his wife when she discovered a receipt for condoms in his car. And this is the same guy who was exposed for using Twitter as his own Adult Friend Finder, when a famous Atlanta stripper spent way more than 140 characters bragging about how she’d been sleeping with then-Ochocinco, but how she wasn’t the reason that his divorce went south.

Or maybe she was, I can’t even keep track of this crap anymore. What I can keep track of, though, is a huge coincidence, and in this case that’s the fact that Johnson is unemployed with no shot of being an NFL starter anytime soon, and he’s probably hurting for money. So if you put two and two together, you get a guy who’d probably want the kind of money that comes with a sex tape.

Good thing PornHub already made Chad an offer back in August. Ahhhhhhhhh, coincidences. In case you forgot, I’ve included the original letter from PornHub’s CEO after the jump.

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Shakespeare, Hemingway, Abbott.

Ed. note – Jessica ‘Lobster Mobster’ Hudnall’s epic review of Tank Abbott’s literary debut, Befor There Were Rules, A Trilogy By #1 MMA Cagefighting Legend David “Tank” Abbott, Book One, Bar Brawler, A Novel, is almost over. Today is the penultimate update, and here’s what you should’ve read already:

Part 1 – Foreword, Prologue, Chapter 1 | Part 2 – Chapters 2-4 | Part 3 – Chapters 5-7 | Part 4 – Chapters 8-10 | Part 5 – Chapters 11-13 | Part 6 – Chapters 14-16 | Part 7 – Chapters 17-19

Today’s installment is a big one, as Bar Brawler becomes 50 Shades Of Tank with a Walter Foxx sex scene. ENJOY.

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