Melanie Adams.  The only downside to that revelation: a disappointing lack of high-resolution pictures.  Today, I'm happy to correct that error.

Word on the street is that Melanie was recently cast in a guest spot for Kids Unlimited, a San Francisco-area TV show that's supposed to go national soon.  Her role: a cheerleader who flirts with one of the show's lead characters.  That's all the information I have right now, so I'm going to go ahead and guess that the character she flirts with is a lesbian stripper or something.  A redheaded lesbian stripper with big boobs? Sure why not.

In the endless wake of a lingering fascination with some female pole vaulter comes another, much cooler female pole vaulter.  Her name is Melanie Adams, and I will happily get in line with all the other sports bloggers to lavish the 20-year-old with praise, attention, and phone calls that consist of nothing but heavy breathing.

She's Australian, therefore born to sweat, and she's been vaulting since the age of 11. She has her sights set on the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi and indeed on the 2012 London Olympics, and she looks up to the aboriginal Aussie Cathy Freeman and Tatiana Grigorieva, the Russian-Australian pole vaulter who won gold at the Commonwealth Games of 2002…

One day, she says, "I'd like to enter the Miss Universe pageant." Only there's a problem. "I'm hoping to build my profile, but it's hard when I'm in Melbourne and they (her modelling agency) are in Sydney."

Probably the best thing about Melanie is that she's okay with a little exposure.  God forbid someone already in the public eye should get some attention from a blog, causing a front-page Washington Post story that draws the highfalutin arbiters of right and wrong out of the woodwork.  Hey shitheads, how about you fuck off and I'll just keep this outpost of free speech intact?  Thanks.

[Fan IQ] 

A prison in the United Kingdom (I think U.K., I'm not some great cartologist) has introduced pole vaulting lessons to its young inmates, creating a situation that is rife with humor for those tuned into dry British humor.  Because pole vaulting would be a useful skill for getting over an obstacle like a prison fence, see?  What delicious ironing!

Governor Steve Holland is hoping a future Olympic champion will emerge. He was approached by Trudy Carter, Dorset’s athletics development officer, who said she had a mobile pole vaulting unit for use in a gym and wanted to get the inmates interested.

But yesterday taxi driver Mike Lee, whose firm is used by the prison, said: "It struck me as funny that prisoners are being taught to pole vault. Next they will be teaching them rock climbing and ladder making.” Mr Lee, 60, of Weymouth, added: “Let’s hope they don’t get too good at it."

LOL, Mike.  L-O-L.  "And what kinda movies are they showing there?  Shawshank Redemption?  Am I right?"  Positively killer material.  I hope he saves that kind of material for when the talent scouts ride in his cab.

Anyway, as 100% Injury Rate notes, the walls of the prison are 20 feet high and covered in razor wire, so unless Sergei Bubka's kid is doing time for cocaine possession, I don't think anyone's breaking out via pole vault.  And for those of you craving an Allison Stokke joke, shame on you.  She's an honor roll student and would never go to jail.  She's only a prisoner of my heart.

There's been much ado about the OC Register's sale of Allison Stokke's image on things like mugs and mousepads (see HERE, HERE, and HERE), but before the speculation gets out of hand, it should be noted that — as far as I can tell — the Stokkes have nothing to do with said sale, and benefit from it in no way.  A reporter from the OC Register explained it as such:

[T]he Register contracts with a company to handle our reprints. That company, Pictopia, also offers photos on mugs, mousepads, etc. So generally, photos taken by our staff photographers also are available on such merchandise through Pictopia. People who want to buy photos or merchandise have to fill out an online form, which is reviewed by a photo librarian to make sure it's filled out properly, etc. I'm not aware, and a news researcher I talked to also isn't aware, of a company policy for subjectively evaluating reprint requests.

I'm not trying to keep the story alive, just wanted to throw some facts out there.  First time for everything, right?

I want to straighten out a few things about Allison Stokke and this tangled web of newfound celebrity.

• I maintain that the key to what makes Miss Stokke an intriguing figure is that she's damn good at her sport.  In my experience, most sports fans prefer Maria Sharapova to Anna Kournikova.  Yes, both are attractive, but Sharapova is actually good, and that's why she matters.  Likewise, I wish Miss Stokke the best in her sporting endeavours.  I would love to care about pole vaulting.

• A lot of people seem to be up in arms about With Leather "making" her a celebrity.  If it hadn't been this site, it would have been someone else, and it would have happened sooner rather than later.  In fact, Barstool Sports claims that they'd already "written an entire book" about her by the time I got to the story.  I'm sorry I never got the chance to read it; I'm sure it was excellent.

• How would I feel if it were my daughter that got this unwanted attention?  Well, I don't know.  I'd like to think I'd feel fortunate that my daughter was a record-breaking athlete and honors student with no physical or mental deformities.  It's 2007, people: time to realize that attractive women athletes will always be recognized and — yes, sometimes — obsessed over.  Is it right or wrong?  I don't know.  But it's reality.

To the Stokkes: if you'd like this post removed, please just contact me.  You don't have to be mean or anything.  We all have jobs that can get ugly, but that doesn't make us bad people.

Long-time reader Jim — who may or may not have killed a man in prison — alerted me this morning to an Internet sensation that's building a frightening head of steam: meet pole vaulter Allison Stokke (pronounced "stow-key," I believe).  Hubba hubba and other grunting sounds.

Why is this particular head of steam frightening, you ask?  Well, as best as I can tell from my rudimentary Internet sleuthing, Allison turned 18 less than two months ago, and she's still a senior at Newport Harbor, which last time I checked — and I check often — is a high school.  Writing these kinds of posts are precisely why I keep getting mysterious, threatening voicemails from someone that sounds like Chris Hansen.  "I'll get you, Ufford!"  "You disgust me, sicko!"  "Seriously, put some pants on."  Et cetera and so on.

Oh, and there's also this: Miss Stokke is one of the best young pole vaulters in the country.  She set the U.S. record for a freshman girl at 12'8", and her present personal best is a couple inches off the best high school girls mark.  So, that's why I'm honoring her with a post.  Because she's an exceptional athlete.  Yes.

Oh, and if this YouTube interview is any indication, she takes pole vaulting so seriously that she's unable to detect sarcasm.  Which is too bad, because missing sarcastic remarks ends our steamy, illicit romance before it's even begun.  That, and the age difference.  And the restraining order.

UPDATE: Please go HERE for more pics and some insight into this phenomenon.