World-renowned poker star Phil Ivey spent a few nights at the Mayfair casino Crockfords in London last October, and normally that wouldn’t be news, because he’s a pro poker player and all, but the 37-year old caused quite the buzz when he won about $12 million playing the baccarat game Punto Banco. Now, I don’t understand any card games that aren’t called war or assh*le, so forgive me if I gloss over the rules to this specific game* and get right to the bangers and mash – the casino bosses refused to pay out because they accused Ivey of cheating. Naturally, he’s suing them.

So how on Earth do you cheat at a game that involves nothing but pure luck? Easy. You use the exclusive, illegal knowledge that the decks of cards had been improperly cut and you examine each card’s back from a distance to determine the card’s value and wager accordingly. I know, right? How the hell haven’t we all been doing this for years?

Read the rest of this entry »

The very first show featured in our Sports On TV column was ‘Saved By The Bell,’ and with good reason. It’s one of those shows we’ve all seen whether we like it or not, and face it, you can’t spell “Internet” without ‘Saved By The Bell.’

Saved By The Bell’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments featured so many of the classics — Zack becoming an Indian to deal with track team stress, girls on the wrestling team, wheelchair basketball, Zack hitting a soon-to-be-dead-from-oil-spillage duck with a baseball — but it didn’t feature them all. It’s only fitting that the first part 2 entrant in Sports on TV history would be 15 MORE great sports moments from the show.

So, please click through to enjoy sports moments 21-35 from ‘Saved By The Bell.’ Warning: there is a lot of spooning-disguised-as-instruction gags in these entries. A LOT.

Read the rest of this entry »

Two men were sentenced yesterday, and a third will be sentenced later this year, for their roles in extorting several professional poker players. Specifically, Tyler Schrier and Keith James Hudson hacked some email accounts and stole a number of things, including funds from online poker accounts, private information and naked pictures. But don’t go getting all excited poker pervs. It wasn’t Liz Lieu, Lacey Jones or one of those models that pretends to be a professional poker player because some website is paying them for it.

This case involves male poker players, including Joe Sebok (above), who refused to play along, and the newest editions to the penal system responded by sending the nude photos to 100+ friends, colleagues and family members. Needless to say, Sebok and Co. were not pleased.

Read the rest of this entry »

"I will take two blumpkins, please."

Hey, remember Greg Raymer, the every guy, average Joe who, along with Chris Moneymaker the year before, came out of nowhere to win the 2004 World Series Poker Main Event and helped push the classic card game to new heights of global popularity? He had a pretty sh*tty weekend.

World Series of Poker champ Greg Raymer — aka the FossilMan — has been busted for trying to bury his bone … after allegedly soliciting a prostitute online.

HEYOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Nobody zings ‘em like the TMZ gang. Anyway, what else?

A rep for the Wake Forest PD in North Carolina says Raymer was popped at a Wake Forest hotel on Wednesday.

Police say the 48-year-old poker legend was one of six men who responded to an advertisement posted by an undercover cop on a website frequented by prostitutes. The men have since been released on $1,000 bond.

This is pretty disappointing, as Raymer was a hero to frat boys and college dorm room recluses who fancied websites like Bodog, Full Tilt and that other one that I used to play on but can’t remember the name anymore as new sources of quick income and fame, since everyone with a high speed Internet connection once thought, “Hell, if Moneymaker and that fat bastard can win a million bucks playing poker, then so can I.”

Sadly, it turns out that it was probably much easier to just recreate this point in his career than any other. Or maybe playing like a “donk” and pissing off Mike Matusow, but then that’s probably the easiest thing anyone could do.

Read the rest of this entry »

This week on Sports On TV, we tackle the horror/comedy/drama/everything else of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer,’ the 1997-2003 hit that catapulted Avengers director Joss Whedon into public consciousness, gave Sarah Michelle Gellar seven more years of television success and adapted a semi-forgotten Kristy Swanson movie into a layered, sometimes absurd and always worth-talking-about cult classic.

And yeah, believe it or not, Buffy had more than 20 great sports moments. I was originally going to supplement the list with a few ‘Angel’ moments (personalized hockey jerseys for babies!), but I revisited the show, re-watched several of my favorite episodes and found so many things to talk about I could barely fit it into a part 1.

If you’re a fan of vampires, good television or magical axes that give teens the power to kick through somebody’s chest, you’ll love this week’s column. Please click through to enjoy my picks for ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s’ 20 greatest sports moments.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Three Stooges were a comedy act that lasted from 1925 until 1970 (!), and yeah, while the majority of their act was showcased in theatrical shorts, their lasting cultural relevancy comes from a television revival, so we’re counting them as “TV”.

Your opinion of The Three Stooges may vary, but your Dad loves them. They’ve come in and out of social consciousness in so many ways it’s hard to describe. They’ve been in movies, they’ve been in cartoons, they’ve been re-imagined for modern audiences by the people behind There’s Something About Mary and been an influence to countless comedians, even the ones who won’t admit it. They were never the most highbrow thing in the world, but they did something right. They also featured a lot of sports in their features, and because I already dated the hell out of myself with the 20 Greatest Sports Moments Of The Brady Bunch, I might as well trick the blogging audience into thinking I’m 100 years old.

If you like this week’s Sports On TV column, be sure to drop us a comment (especially if we forgot something important), click the “like” button to share it with strangers on the Internet, and maybe send it over to your Dad. He’ll think it’s funny.

Read the rest of this entry »