As I wrote yesterday, I’m a one-man Spring Break party this week, celebrating some of my favorite moments of debauchery and youthful indiscretions all this week. Today, we’re taking a trip all the way back to 2004, for a dance competition that gets a little out of control for one young couple.

Dayna had saved up almost three months of her part-time pay from the Piercing Pagoda to make sure that this was the craziest Spring Break of her life. The single mother of a 3-year old son, Dayna has never been able to enjoy a Spring Break, well, unless you count the weekend adventure in Cocoa Beach that led to little Sisqo’s conception. Fortunately, Dayna’s mom agreed to take her grandson in for a few days, since her boyfriend and Ratt cover band frontman, Trent, got locked up for selling Percocets to Deltona high schoolers again.

Dayna and her best friend Bev loaded up her ’89 Dodge Caravan and hit the road for Daytona Beach, where a room at the Desert Inn was screaming their names. They didn’t have a lot time to waste, so it was straight to Razzle’s for the world famous Thursday Night Throwdown dance competition that let lucky couples shake their groove thangs for a shot at $300, matching Corona thongs and a week’s worth of Billy Boy condoms.

There was just one problem – Dayna didn’t have a dance partner! Whatever would she do?

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I’m not much of a dancer, not since that time that a preacher banned dancing in my town and my family moved away right before a rebellious teenager arrived and showed everyone that dancing is actually fun. But the word on the streets these days is that all the cool hepcats and daddy-O’s are getting funky to a new little move called the Harlem Shake.

Unfortunately, a Harlem Shake is not a Dairy Queen Blizzard mixed with cognac as I originally hoped, and as our Warming Glow comrade Josh Kurp previously pointed out, it is a strange dance craze along the lines of Psy’s “Gangnam Style” and Oprah’s* “twerk”. Basically, you just shake your arms like a car dealership balloon guy and hope that no one calls an ambulance for that “crazy drunk a-hole” having a seizure. Even the Norwegian army is getting in on the action.

And because they’re hip to all the new styles, the Dallas Mavericks players made their own Harlem Shake video and it’s as strange as everything else they’ve ever done.

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One of my favorite news updates from The Onion, besides the one about the “ask murderer,” is Ping-Pong Somehow Elicits Macho Posturing. Now, thanks to table tennis player and apparent Internet reader Adam Bobrow, that story has become reality.

Bobrow went Full Gangnam Style after scoring a point in the Chancellor Cup in Manila, The Philippines. Maybe if his opponent hadn’t been balls-deep in a Carly Rae Jepsen Flip camera parody video himself, he would’ve seen a ping pong ball flying at him. Bobrow’s excuse:

I was invited to do an exhibition match that was filmed by the national news… I thought you guys would enjoy this. By the way, BIG thanks to my partner in this exhibition… my “opponent”… Peter Francisco! He’s a much better player than me and has a great attitude! Playing with him was an absolute pleasure.

Translation: “I won at ping-pong, so I did a horsey dance and shook my junk around until somebody made me stop. Deal with it.” It’s officially the greatest moment in table tennis history, assuming that stuff with Forrest Gump wasn’t real.

Video is after the jump.

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You know you’re onto something good when the first 40 seconds of your minute-20 video is about how everyone you know thinks you’re terrible. Regardless, Mike & Mike in the Morning had the ‘idear’ of doing a Gangnam Style parody, so now that’s a thing that exists.

A quick question for producer William: Did you get the idear from the 400,000 other people who did a Gangnam Style parody video? Because it’s the end of October, and that shit was barely timely a week into September. Also, was your parody idear to just do the Gangnam Style video badly? Because that’s not really a parody. That’s just you doing a horse-humpy dance and putting it on YouTube.

Ah well, I can only throw so much shade at them when literally everyone else in the world has done the same thing. There are starving children in the Sudan somewhere trying to find an elevator for their Gangnam Style parody.

Hey Burnsy, do you own a pair of sunglasses? I’ve got a great idea for tomorrow’s posts.

[h/t to Sports Crackle Pop via Yardbarker]

We hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.

Psy’s international hit ‘Gangnam Style’ has gone Full Macarena. What started off as funny thing to share with people on the Internet became a legitimate crossover success, grew into a slew of on-the-ball parody videos and eventually became a kinda-tired thing that was still fun to do with cheerleaders. Now, thanks to NFL On Fox, Gangnam Style has reached its penultimate evolutionary milestone: it’s a thing old people do when they’re trying to be funny. Now it either has to explode, or show up five years from now in an Adam Sandler comedy (or on wrestling) to complete the cycle.

Anyway, they look like they’re having fun, so I can’t talk too much shit about it, but man, I don’t ever want Jimmy Johnson to look at me like that again. It’s like he’s erotically churning butter.

[h/t Sports Crackle Pop]

Good to know Usher and Justin Bieber had a baby already. Man, Phillie Phanatic would’ve slaughtered everyone on screen. (via NESN)

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Links

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The ‘Iron Man’ Trilogy Makes No Sense (And Other Confusing Trilogies) |UPROXX|

First Look: The “Black Dynamite” Animated Series Trailer |Smoking Section|

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: A Thousand Words About The Artist We Call C-Tates |Film Drunk|

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