Unless you want this Godless thing tearing through your cheerleader dreams to haunt your nightmares you’ll sign up for our free fantasy football game through Draftstreet.com. I don’t really know what one thing has to do with the other, but I’m no theologian, and I’m going to threaten you with it anyway.

If free money for doing almost nothing isn’t enough (it is seriously free money, why aren’t you doing this) I’m playing, and I challenge you — yes, challenge you — to defeat me. My newfound Texans fan powers will lead my running back, Arian Foster, to 400 carries for over 8,000 yards this week. Hopefully that’ll make up for my quarterback, because I used all my money on Foster and ended up drafting Jake Plummer. Whoops!

Our Explanation Blurb™, in case you haven’t read it:

The game happens this weekend, and it’s going to work a lot like our baseball games; you’ll sign up (for free, again, I’m not going to make you pay for anything) and pick your team, choosing two QBs, two WR, two RB and so on until you’ve exhausted your salary cap, and the team with the best performance in this Sunday’s games wins money. So do the next five top teams. That’s right, we’re paying out to the top 6 teams from a $250 cash pool.

It’s easy as hell, and I drafted my team in about 40 seconds before posting this. Uh, maybe that’s why I never win. But I still could win, and that’s awesome. The game happens on 10/16 and includes the Monday game, so go ahead and do this immediately. And remember, participation gets you

1. Free money
2. No Spongebob nightmares
3. The ability to laugh at me thinking Jake Plummer still plays football
4. Fame and fortune (on the Internet)

Do you like football? Do you like beautiful women? Then play the latest installment of our free fantasy football game through DraftStreet and prove it. I don’t believe you like either thing until you play this.

We’ve done a couple of freerolls already this season, cementing me as one of the worst fantasy football players of all time — in the first game I finished 72nd overall, and in the second I finished a number so high I’m unable to count it. I’m sure to make up for it with this week’s team, where I draft Peyton Manning, Andre Johnson, Mario Williams and James Harrison.

Here’s how it works:

The game happens this weekend, and it’s going to work a lot like our baseball games; you’ll sign up (for free, again, I’m not going to make you pay for anything) and pick your team, choosing two QBs, two WR, two RB and so on until you’ve exhausted your salary cap, and the team with the best performance in this Sunday’s games wins money. So do the next five top teams. That’s right, we’re paying out to the top 6 teams from a $250 cash pool.

Sign up, tell your friends, tell your girlfriends, get your parents to sign up and try to win them some money. Christmas is coming up, and you can buy a lot of presents with a big chunk of $250. My birthday is coming up too (in January), and apparently I could really use a book about who is and isn’t good at football.

Victoria’s Secret With Leather and Draftstreet.com would like to remind you this game will soon be over. Round two of our one-weekend fantasy football contest, the same contest that lets you win money from a $250 cash pool by putting in zero and about a minute and a half of clicking, goes down this weekend. If you haven’t signed up to play, you should do that, because it’s fun, and because I’m about as good at it as Adriana Lima is at legitimately throwing a football.

In case you missed it last time:

The game happens this weekend, and it’s going to work a lot like our baseball games; you’ll sign up (for free, again, I’m not going to make you pay for anything) and pick your team, choosing two QBs, two WR, two RB and so on until you’ve exhausted your salary cap, and the team with the best performance in this Sunday’s games wins money. So do the next five top teams.

So sign up as quickly as possible and draft your team. Personally, I’m drafting everyone I can from the Indianapolis Colts. They’re due! Yes, I draft teams like Krusty the Klown paces bets.

But no, seriously, sign up, play, and drop us a comment here to let us know how you finished. Last time I finished in 72nd place and won no money, but hey, I’ve also spent no money. Those are great odds.

This time, at least.

With Leather is once again teaming up with DraftStreet fantasy sports to bring you a one-day-only fantasy football league that is totally free to play and could win you a piece of a $250 cash pool. It’s so easy, all you need to look like you know what you’re talking about is a football and a football shirt. You probably haven’t made it past the picture of Marissa Miller. If you click her, it makes the picture bigger and super HQ! Just kidding, it takes you to the sign up link for this game, and I’m sorry for that.

How to play:

Click any of the hyperlinks (like this one) to sign up.

The game happens this weekend, and it’s going to work a lot like our baseball games; you’ll sign up (for free, again, I’m not going to make you pay for anything) and pick your team, choosing two QBs, two WR, two RB and so on until you’ve exhausted your salary cap, and the team with the best performance in this Sunday’s games wins money. So do the next five top teams.

And there you go. This is going to sit at the top of the page all weekend, so enjoy Marissa and please, hang out and play with us. I’m playing, and I’d really appreciate knowing I lost to EVERYBODY who could’ve played, and not just Burnsy and Upstate Underdog.

In case you didn’t enjoy the homosexual overtones of yesterday’s fantasy football freeroll announcement, here are the butts of some football girls. It’s a more predictable way to get you to sign up, but hey, I’m gonna try everything.

Our friends at DraftStreet have decided to stop punishing me with fantasy baseball failures and offer up money from a $250 cash pool to the top finishers in a With Leather Free Fantasy Football game. It’s free, it takes about a quarter of a second to prepare, and it can win you guaranteed cash money. Most pro football players aren’t even promised that. Click any of the hyperlinks in this post to sign up.

The game happens this weekend, and it’s going to work a lot like our baseball games; you’ll sign up (for free, again, I’m not going to make you pay for anything) and pick your team, and the team with the best performance in this Sunday’s games wins money. So do the next five top teams.

And there you have it. Fantasy football shouldn’t be as hard a sell as our previous fantasy baseball games, because fantasy football is extremely popular and nobody likes baseball. I’m going to be playing, and so will an absolute gaggle of UPROXX personalities I badger (at least Burnsy), so sign up and join in and brag to your friends about how badly you destroyed the editor and staff of popular sports blog.

And make sure they see this post, not yesterday’s.

Rex Grossman has been named the Washington Redskins’ starter for Sunday’s opener against the New York Giants.

“Throughout this whole thing I wanted to play well and have no regrets about my play,” Grossman said. “My confidence maybe would waver a little bit every once in a while just not sure what they’re going to do. So I signed up for this fantasy football thing on With Leather and won $250. I got back my confidence, and now that picture of me getting buttf**ked by the Packers is the second best thing I’ve ever done.”

I didn’t doctor that quote at all, copy and pasted it right over from HuffPo. Take it as you will.

Anyway, in case you’re wondering what Charles Atlas-quality device could turn Rex Grossman from a zero into a hero, look no further — our friends at DraftStreet have decided to stop punishing me with fantasy baseball failures and offer up money from a $250 cash pool to the top finishers in a With Leather Free Fantasy Football game. It’s free, it takes about a quarter of a second to prepare, and it can win you guaranteed cash money. Most pro football players aren’t even promised that. Click any of the hyperlinks in this post to sign up.

The game happens this weekend, and it’s going to work a lot like our baseball games; you’ll sign up (for free, again, I’m not going to make you pay for anything) and pick your team, and the team with the best performance in this Sunday’s games wins money. So do the next five top teams. In fact, you’d have to be almost as terrible at this as me or Rex Grossman to not win money. So what’re you waiting for? Sign up for this right now, or at least tomorrow, when I remind you!