I don’t know about you guys, but these 3 and 6:30pm ET kickoff times are killing me. This is what it must feel like to follow the NFL in Europe, because I’m stuck in front of the TV absorbing pre-game “analysis” until the games start. And if I hear another talking head on ESPN mutter “Can’t wait,” I’m going to toss my television out the window. This is when it pays to have a backup television.

Just start these damn games already. I’m this close to going outside and having a conversation with someone. Please don’t bring me to that, NFL. Anything but that.

Jets 28, Patriots 21. If you haven’t seen Bart Scott’s pro-westling-style interview with ESPN from last night, drop everything and watch it now. Apparently Bart was upset that “nobody” gave the Jets a chance to win (even though I picked them both ATS and straight up). Yeah, who would dare pick against a team that got blown out in that same venue just a month earlier. It’s a sad day for Tommy from Quinzee.

Bears 35, Seahawks 24. Finally, the Seahawks are where they belong: out of the playoffs. Bears quarterback Jay Cutler threw for two touchdowns and ran for two more in a game that wasn’t really close. Matt Forte also had 25 carries for Chicago. It’s nice to see him working again.

Packers 48, Falcons 21. Aaron Rodgers played the role of General Sherman circa 1864 and knocked Atlanta out of the playoffs, the second time in three seasons that the Falcons were one-and-done. Rodgers was 31 of 36 passing, which probably gives him a passer rating of something like 47,312.8

Steelers 31, Ravens 24. The Ravens were up 21-7 at the half, but three straight turnovers in their own end of the field put the Steelers right back in it. James Harrison had three sacks in Saturday’s game, and he’ll probably get fined for that because we all know that the league office hates him.

By now, images of the New York Post and Metro Boston weekend covers are everywhere, and it’s safe to say that both organizations have outdone themselves. The only thing I could add here is a snippet from Wes Welker’s press conference from yesterday. The Patriots wideout was asked about how his team would approach their third game of the season against the New York Jets and Rex Ryan, and Welker did not disappoint.

On Revis: “He’s got great feet.”

On practice: “You want to make sure you’re putting your best foot forward out there and making it happen.”

More on practice: “Us going out there and being good little foot soliders and making sure we’re going out there and doing everything coach asks us to do.”

–PFT.

Is this an AFC divisional round game or WrestleMania? One can only hope that the game is as entertaining as the week heading into it has been. I’m not holding out much hope, though. How many foot jokes does one hear during a football telecast? …Actually, that’s probably a positive.

Most of you have already caught Jets coach Rex Ryan picking a war of words with Patriots coach Bill Belichick, who mumbled away from the bait, and then there was Antonio Cromartie calling Tom Brady an @sshole. Tom says he’s been called worse, and I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt on that. Besides, that totally sounds like something an @sshole would say.

But today there was an image revealed on Twitter of Baltimore Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs wearing a less-than-subtle tee with a Baltimore Raven flipping, uh, the bird under the words HEY PITTSBURGH.

Suggs spoke to reporters with a black shirt with yellow letters that read “Hey Pittsburgh.” Beneath the script was a purple hand extending its middle finger. Told he might give motivation to his rivals, Suggs said (via the Baltimore Sun), “Do I seem worried? This game is going to be what it is regardless.

“It’s a physical dogfight, so I ain’t expecting nothing different. And this is the shirt I wore this morning. This is just the shirt I chose.”

–The Huddle.

Yep, Suggs called the upcoming AFC game between the Steelers and Ravens a dogfight. My sensibilities will never recover. Sorry, but I’ve run out of Michael Vick jokes for that. I’ve already gone to the rape stand well too many times this season. Suggs also called Brady’s three Super Bowl wins “questionable.” Really? Maybe Cromartie should revise his @sshole list.

If anyone was watching the Ravens-Chiefs game Sunday, you might have noticed that the Chiefs offense wasn’t as good in the second half than the first. How’s that for good analysis? Then again, they scored their only seven points in the first quarter and had some bad turnovers, but the second half offense was somehow worse.

It’s now being said that Todd Haley, head coach of the Chiefs, took the mic away from offensive coordinator Charlie Weis and chose his own plays. Keep in mind that Weis is heading to Florida after this season, so he probably didn’t have much patience with Haley. At least, I know I wouldn’t.
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The Giants, who started out 5-2 before their bye week, have now gone 4-4 after it and look to other teams to help them squeeze into the playoffs after getting embarrassed against the Packers in Wisconsin, 45-17. New York had half a dozen turnovers in the game, which sounds delicious, but I’m being told that’s a bad thing. Eli Manning threw for 301 yards and two touchdowns but was also picked four times. Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw also had a fumble each, and if I may channel some inner John Madden, you can’t win football games in the National Football League if you give away the football that much. Football.

Aaron Rodgers was all like “What concussion? No seriously, I had a concussion? My memory’s pretty fuzzy” in his return as Green Bay’s quarterback, throwing for 404 yards and four touchdowns. If I could put on my pessimist glasses for a second, the Packers had a very weak rushing game, with Brandon Jackson having 18 carries for 39 yards (a typical Brandon Jackson day) and some guy named Dimitri Nance carrying nine times for 32 yards. John Kuhn was a goal-line beast (or just fat and able to throw his weight through lines), however, as he rushed six times for 22 yards with two touchdowns and also had a receiving touchdown.

Although it’s nice to see Green Bay succeeding, the main story in this game is how poorly the Giants have collapsed at the end of the season. They had pretty good hopes to win the NFC East, but a loss to the Cowboys and getting swept by the Eagles gave them a poor division record. Since that fourth-quarter pants-shitting thanks to Michael Vick and DeSean Jackson two games ago, the Giants have been… well, terrible. This game, unlike last week’s, can’t be blamed on Matt Dodge but instead on different players who made stupid mistakes.

Green Bay has built up a reputation as a coach killer this season, as two teams (Cowboys and Vikings) who lost miserably to them had their head coaches (Wade Phillips and Brad Childress, respectively) fired shortly after. I doubt he’ll get fired with only one week left, but if Coughlin’s still around next week, the Giants better beat the Redskins and hope a bunch of crazy stuff happens if they want to get into the playoffs.

–Contributed by Samer Kalaf