My evening unfolded almost exactly as I predicted last night, from the bunny playing piano to the cat tipping his hat, but how I handled that much LSD in one night is still a mystery to me. Regardless, our brackets are filled out and the games are about to begin, so I figured we could run down today’s schedule with the help of the wonderful ladies at Playboy, who, when not being shunned from society by Darren Rovell, are actually quite the NCAA Tournament experts in their own rights.

Okay, maybe I’m using the term “experts” a little loosely, but I’m still pretty impressed that these women could take the time out of their busy schedules of ignoring me to compete against each other in the 2013 Playboy Bracket Challenge. Fans and bros were able to fill out their brackets on the (obviously not-necessarily-SFW website) and compete against some of their favorite Playmates, including Kari Nautique, Nikki Leigh, the wonderful Chloe Miranda, and recent mom Jaime Edmondson, among others.

The biggest missing piece, though, is Ciara Price, but I think the restraining order may just completely block her from my computer. Haha, she’s such a kidder. Anyway, today’s remaining schedule is after the jump, as well as some special Playboy NCAA Tournament cards featuring Nikki Leigh, and serve no purpose other than to make me like Ohio State and Florida for once.

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Well, hello friends. Welcome back to this week’s running series of the actual, honest to Jesus Twitter accounts that you should be following. This isn’t butt-kissing with buzz words, as much as it’s our tight-knit little family trying to help make your social media experience more fulfilling. So far, my good friends Bobby Big Wheel and Danger Guerrero have filled you in on the Twitter accounts that mean so much to them, and now I’m going to school you on the Playboy Playmates that I’d like watch golf with.

I’m a huge golf fan, and I love playing. I also love Playboy. In fact, on a few occasions, I’ve contemplated entering one of the Playboy Golf events and putting on a little exhibition with my Sasquatch for the ladies. But the problem is that I suck at golf, and I’d just end up embarrassing myself. So I figured the solution to that is that I’d just watch golf with some Playmates and wow them with my knowledge, because chances are they don’t like golf, and they’d be like, “Wow, Burnsy, you’re like the king of golf.”

So here, in no particular order, are 25 Playboy Playmates and models that are fun to follow on Twitter and are now invited to come watch golf with me.

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Between Rob Gronkowski using Twitter as his personal Adult Friend Finder and Evan Longoria playing the role of Tampa Bay Rays PR to reach out to Alex Morgan and then “rescuing” Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson from the evil Darren Rovell only to start dating her, there isn’t much shame to the 140-character social networking game. So when a famous guy and attractive and/or famous gal start Tweet-flirting – or Twirting – with each other, us nosey nerds raise our eyebrows and start asking the important questions like “Is Miss November 2011 Ciara Price dating Boston Bruins star Tyler Seguin?”

And the answer is… I dunno.

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Ugh, look away! They're heinous!

Back when I was the editor of my student newspaper in college, I drew the ire and attention of the local chapter of the National Organization of Women after I wrote a harmless entertainment editorial about how the James Bond franchise should be celebrated for creating empowering characters in the Bond girls. Of course, the male president of this NOW chapter (*rolls eyes*) argued that Bond girls were objectified sluts, but it taught me an important lesson that if you take a stance regarding women and their looks, you’re going to piss people off.

And the point of this edition of “Cool Story, Bro” is that nobody ever taught CNBC reporter Darren Rovell that lesson, because on Saturday night, the self-proclaimed “Twitter police” had the balls to Tweet the following from the Playboy Super Bowl party:

Obviously, if you’re familiar with Rovell’s work, he likes to play with numbers, throw around statistics about money and impose his will on anyone who listens. He needs us all to know that he’s in charge and we’re just the pooper scoopers of his Twitter elephant. There isn’t really a big problem with that Tweet, as there just weren’t enough ladies for his liking, so he vented a little. Then he vented a lot.

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When it comes to Playboy Magazine, I look at it a lot like “Saturday Night Live.” Both are iconic institutions that have created sources of inspiration for many people over the last three decades or more, and both were revolutionary at their respective times of inception. On the other hand, they’ve both been running on fumes creatively for roughly the last 10 years or so, as they’ve surrendered to the status quo instead of constantly trying to raise the bar, as any source of creativity and imagination should.

And while both are criticized immensely for their lack of effort and uninspired retreads, Playboy at least has boobies, and that’s why we’re here today. Despite Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos being on the wrong end of a 45-10 annihilation against the New England Patriots on Saturday, people still love them some Tebow, and that includes a bunch of Playboy Playmates, who spent last week Tweeting pictures of themselves Tebowing. Despite their best, incredibly sexy efforts, Tebow did not succumb to their seductive ways as he continues to save himself for the virginal Katy Perry.

On a sadder note, with the playoffs over for the Broncos, so ends the excitement that we’ve had with Tebowmania. Frankly, I’m a little exhausted from the whole thing, so unless some actual news suddenly breaks out, we’re gonna take a little break from discussing everything Tebow after today. At least for a day until I remember how awesome his name is for web traffic. Until then, bring on the sexy ladies!

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It wasn’t too long ago that Cleveland Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore was one of the hottest young stars in baseball. Between 2005 and 2008, he had all the makings of a classic 5-tool player, posting four 100-run seasons and showing increasing promise in home runs, RBI and stolen bases. But in 2009, he started having issues with his elbow and soon after he had problems with his left knee. In 2011, he made his comeback and then hit the DL a few times with a sports hernia and some right knee problems, and it seemed like the Indians were never going to be able to trade him to a contender for a bunch of prospects that they could also later trade.

But none of that matters now because Sizemore is in love and he’s marrying his longtime, on-and-off-again girlfriend, Brittany Binger, who you might know better as Playboy’s Miss June 2007. Sizemore and the 24-year old model have had a fun relationship over the last few years, highlighted by Binger’s infamous cell phone “hacking” which led to some risqué bulge photos (semi-NSFW and something for the ladies) of Sizemore winding up online.

I know I definitely speak for our resident Indians homer, Brandon, when I say that we wish Sizemore nothing but happiness and hope that he can return to form next season during his 1-year, $5 million deal so the Indians will trade him to the St. Louis Cardinals for another World Series run. L’chaim!

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