“Who’s better? Kobe or Lebron?” Well, let’s see…I think we’ve established that Kobe is the better penetrator, but LeBron seems to have less talent around him. No, I don’t mean his teammates. I mean some of the lovely ladies at this Playboy Mansion party. Seriously, if you owned the Playboy Mansion, you’d have to install a BatCave, right? And then floor underneath the stripper pole in the living room would give way and I’d slide down to the Batmobile for a night of fighting crime. Or rival pimps. Whatever. via.

Hugh Hefner matriculated through the University of Illinois, and he's very excited about the Fighting Illini's appearance in this season's Rose Bowl:

"Illinois has already knocked off the No. 1 team in the country, Ohio State," the founder, editor and emperor of Playboy kindly reminds me. "They're miracle workers . . . I was an undergrad in 1946,'' recalls Hefner, now a spry 81, " which was at the very beginning of when the two conferences forged an arrangement to play against each other in the big game every year. "We came out to play UCLA in that 1947 game, and nobody expected us to win. Nobody."

That's right, a guy that went to college in the 1940s pulls scores of hotter tail than you. Anyway, when Illinois was in Pasadena in for the 1984 Tournament of Roses, they visited the famed Playboy mansion, but not this time:

"No, no Playboy Mansion necessary for us," senior offensive lineman Martin O'Donnell explains to me. "We have our hands full as it is." Ron Zook's team did go to the Improv comedy club, did the Disneyland bit and fed its face at the traditional feast Lawry's sponsors known as the Beef Bowl.

Not necessary? What could have been filling their hands? Oh, wait . . . I get it. Different strokes and all that, and right now I believe conducting a thorough interweb search of my favorite Playmates is absolutely necessary. -KD 

I tell you, this With Leather soccer day just won’t quit.

Pictured here is Ana Paula Oliveira, a Brazilian lineswoman who finally decided to trade in that stuffy referee kit for a much more comfortable green chair and air ensemble during a recent Playboy photshoot. And it's solid choice. Green really brings out her ass.

As you may or may not know, Oliveira rose to prominence back in Brazil in May when she wrongly disallowed a goal during a Copa Brasil match and was given a three-game suspension by the footballing authorities. To which I say, who fucking cares? Sexy people shood be allowed to make mistakes!

Anyway, if you’d like to spend some quality time with Ana this evening, then I suggest you click on this completely NSFW link, and well, intoduce yourself.

Good luck staying on-side, guys! (No. I have no idea what that means either.) -Justin Everest

(And with that, I'm spent. Sorry if the posts took a little longer than normal to get up here today. I'm still sort of learning the ropes. Very, very slowly. OK, I need a drink. See you tomorrow.)

I'm going to need you all to sit down for this one. You're already sitting down? I guess that makes sense if you're at a computer. Okay: according to the Philadelphia Daily News, rejected Eagle/no-talent loudmouth Freddie Mitchell — as mold spores are wont to do — has re-surfaced:

The ex-Iggle's been hanging out with Urkel at the Playboy mansion. FredEx, most recently with the Kansas City Chiefs, is photographed with actor Jaleel White, who looks big enough to play football, in the current Playboy… Mitchell and White are pals from UCLA.

I remember when I would have sawed off my left arm to get into a party at the Playboy Mansion, but now I'm not so sure. If Freddie Mitchell and a muscled-up Urkel are going to be cock-blocking me, that's a whole sphere of coolness I'm not prepared to compete with. Who could I get to roll with me so that I had half their street cred?

I'm thinking Brian Bosworth and Boner from "Growing Pains." They sure as shit aren't doing anything.