I’m never going to understand kids these days. First it’s the planking, then it’s the horsemaning, followed by batmanning, and I’m sure that one day down the road we’ll have airpooping, wallhumping, groinsmothering, and countless other photo meme fads. But today, it’s Tebowing. Somehow, somewhere, someone thought that it would be fun to start sharing pictures of people kneeling in Tim Tebow’s famous religious pose on Facebook, Twitter, and now the Tumblr site, Tebowing.

I was going to really pour on the “Come on, people” treatment here, but for two reasons I will not.

1) This is the fault of the Miami Dolphins. If anyone deserves scorn for this fad that will probably stick with us as long as defenses are unable to see that it is clear to Helen Keller that Tebow is going to run up the gut for a 2-pt. conversion, it’s the Dolphins.

B) While putting together this little gallery last night, I came across an article on USA Today’s website – a place that I normally urge everyone to stay far away from – and it was just stupid enough to draw me in. Damn you, pie charts. The title of the article is “Now Tim Tebow is taking heat for ‘Tebowing’.” Really? Because when thousands of people are striking a pose in tribute to a guy, I tend to think it’s the opposite of mocking.

Regardless, Tebowing is upon us, and lo the football lords have spaketh unto us, so shall it be written, so shall it be done, for ever and ever, in the name of the John Fox, the Damaryius Thomas and the Holy Ghost. Tebow.

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It’s just some fat girl walking in a swimsuit. I talk about basketball in a moment.

Sports

Dwight Howard Strongly Considering Playing Overseas - I wish I was famous enough to have this be a headline about me. “Brandon Stroud Thinking About Swimming In Mediterranean, Probably Won’t”. That would be so awesome. [Smoking Section]

Kenny Florian and JZ Cavalcante Want to Kick Each Others Stupid Nuts - I write a lot about pro wrestling so I can’t make a lot of gay jokes about something obviously not gay (nor should I make gay jokes about gay things, but work with me here). However, it would be nice if MMA guys were at least aware of how super gay they are when they say they want each others’ nuts. [Cage Potato]

The World Cup Truffle Shuffle Kid is My New Hero - Sometimes a sports story is so important it gets covered on the movie section of our network. This fat kid lifting up his shirt at the World Cup is one of those moments. [Film Drunk]

Al Michaels is a Man For All Seasons, So Long As There Are Four - I miss those days of childhood innocence where all the sports announcers seemed like cool guys who loved sports. I thought Craig Kilborn was so funny. Sigh. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Money in the Bank 2011 - Before you read today’s Best and Worst of Raw, go back and read the more-or-less “Best and Best” recap of one of the best pay-per-views ever. If you don’t watch wrestling, this is a great place to start. That girl on the left is in it, and boy, is she just as awesome as she looks. [With Leather]

Kate Upton is a Chubbish Ball of Attainable Fat Lady - Okay, sorry for that hoggish monster in the intro video. We won’t be covering her again. Go here to see the last time we did, and suffer through 50 pictures of her before reading comments from cool guys with hot, skinny girlfriends who just don’t think she’s “all that”. [With Leather]

2011 Women’s World Cup in Pictures - And then, enjoy girls who are extremely fit! And one awesome kid who is not. [With Leather]

Punte Interviews Matt Cassel - My dumb wrestling recaps get a bunch of traffic that should go to stuff like this, where Josh talks to actual sports celebrities about things that matter. Like, uh, their abdominal muscles. Well, read it anyway. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Owling is the New Planking - The best thing about these dumb photo memes is that the people who do them have the attention span of a rake, so they stop doing them about two weeks in. I’m sure in two weeks owling will be out of style and Gilbert Arenas will be doing handstands and tweeting about how awesome they are. Do it, it’s called HANDING! [UPROXX]

At Long Last, The New Rebecca Black Single Has Arrived - And it’s about how famous she is! What’s with all these songs about people telling singers they’re never going to make it? Who does that? I’ve never gone to a concert and walked up to the musicians and said “man, you guys are just never going to sell a lot of albums”. [Uproxx]

TV’s 20 Most Punchable Faces - I’m still sad that any number of Parks and Recreation secondary characters I suggested didn’t make the list. Come on, Marcia Langman! She’s like Marcia Gay Harden in “Office” form! [Warming Glow]

Doritos Says Women Prefer Gaming to Sex - Why are we asking Doritos things? They’ve been trying to tell us “Cool Ranch” is a legitimate flavor for something to have for over 20 years. [Gamma Squad]

It has been 11 days since the NBA’s team owners voted unanimously to lock out the league’s players while a new Collective Bargaining Agreement is negotiated, but that hasn’t stopped the players from moving on with their lives, professionally and personally. As we’ve already pointed out, stars like Kobe Bryant and Deron Williams are already making plans to play elsewhere, while plenty of younger role players are also weighing their European options.

Now sold on Europe as well, Ron Artest, AKA Metta World Peace, told LA Times finger-painter Bill Plaschke that he will play in London if the lockout affects the upcoming season. Additionally, Kevin Durant’s agent claims that the NBA scoring leader is strongly considering playing overseas if the option is there.

“If the opportunity presents itself and the lockout persists, he’s going to have to consider it just as other players are considering it,” Goodwin said, SI reports. “Kevin has shown some interest to know what the situation is and we’ll reach out to the players’ association and make sure that they’re aligned with the guys in case they do take an offer. But I think what you’re going to see happening is a lot of players are going to look at the opportunity if the lockout prolongs that they can go somewhere and play basketball.” (Via Yahoo!)

Translation: “Pay my guy and he’ll go half-ass it for your team.”

Meanwhile, after Miami Heat superstar Dwyane Wade Tweeted for some job opportunities, his old stomping ground of KFC is calling. The fast food chain has offered $250,000 to a charity of Wade’s choice if he mans a drive-thru window for one day like he did as a teenager. Speaking of $250,000, that’s what Wade’s teammate Chris Bosh just spent on food alone for his surprise wedding on July 16. Why is the wedding that people already know about a surprise, you ask? Because Bosh actually got married three months ago, then had his Las Vegas bachelor party and is now having a lavish South Beach vow renewal for all his friends.

And as you can see after the jump, Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard is continuing his “war” with the league’s owners and their lawyers to make sure that the players get what they deserve and the fans aren’t robbed of their season. Haha, just kidding, he’s in a planking war with Gilbert Arenas.

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Orlando Magic guard Gilbert Arenas Tweets a lot, in case I haven’t mentioned it before, and his 140-character thoughts usually fall somewhere between “LOL wut a jackazz” and “OK I’ll admit that’s pretty funny”. But on a few isolated occasions, when he’s not calling Orlando a state or planking in random places, he has been known to make a pretty good point, and two of his Tweets caught my attention yesterday.

rumor is DWill has a contract to play overseas if the lockout continues pass oct 1st…he aint the only one u know ya boy Agent has one also

all this overseas talk..and when we had to play preseason games over there everybody started complaining about the flts and food

By “flts” he means flights, I assume, and he makes an excellent point about the mindset of professional athletes. I knew some guys who played college basketball and after they graduated they went to play in Japan, Ireland, Turkey and Greece. A few of them did it for the experience, but mostly they all did it for the money, because these teams were offering as much as low 6 figures (considering conversion rates and living expense) to 22-year old guys who had no chance at making the NBA.

That’s important to keep in mind, because with the exception of Rudy Fernandez’s record offer from Real Madrid – which is more about bringing a star home and less about pillaging the NBA – the offers aren’t going to be as considerable as some players might think. That’s why this supposed mass exodus of angry and vengeful players isn’t going to be as large as some pundits expect, because it comes down to the difference between a comfort zone and culture shock. Basically, these players can make all the threats they want but after a few weeks they’d be Tweeting xenophobic rants that would haunt an Arizona legislator’s dreams.

After the jump, you can check out the latest in NBA-players-heading-overseas developments, as well as Arenas’ latest planking escapades.

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The Morning Links section is all about spreading the love to our friends, peers and Network At Large, but today the sports section is going to be all about With Leather. I feel like we’ve been doing a great job since I came on, and if you disagree I am going to jam material down your throat until it comes out your backside.

And then it will read something like Bleacher Report.

Sports

The Greatest Atrocity in the History of Sport - If you missed this from last week, you’re really missing out. Punte’s story of disdain toward a BMX biker who cares more about breakfast than competition is outstanding, and the kind of thing that should have 1500 comments. [With Leather]

Gilbert Arenas Really Loves Planking - He does, apparently. Burnsy’s gallery explores the joys of lying on things that aren’t comfortable in situations that could prove sociall awkward. Hilarity ensues! And yes, it looks like he’s parking in handicap spots. [With Leather]

Mexican Soccer Fans Are Boorish Animals: A First-Hand Account - Matt Ufford was the King of With Leather in its infancy, and this kind of thing is why. For extra fun, join in the comments discussion, where you will be called a “dumbass” and an “idiot” no matter WHAT you think. [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 6/27 - If you have typed the words “probably” and “worked shoot” into a sentence in the last two days, you need to read this column. Then, don’t ever write about wrestling on the Internet again. [With Leather]

Not Sports
Okay, now about the other people

Lady Gaga Is A Panda Now - I still appreciate Gaga’s madness, but part of me wishes she’d spent longer in that sweet spot when she was carrying around a teacup and wearing Mickey Mouse sunglasses all the time. She was still hot and super weird, but she hadn’t started digivolving into mantises and Asian beasts. [Uproxx]

BBQ’s & Boomboxes: 25 Essential Summer Songs - Sometimes I really wish I wrote for The Smoking Section. It’s so much cooler than what I get to do. They get to write about “Illmatic”. I have to write about David Eckstein. Wait, hold on, this list has the Kings of Leon on it, nevermind, they are the David Eckstein of popular music. [Smoking Section]

Fun with RottenTomatoes Career Graphs - It’s not surprising to see Chuck Norris and Jennifer Love Hewitt as the worst actor and actress of all time based on science. I still forgive Love for Can’t Hardly Wait, and I’m sure one day she’s going to show up on Entertainment Tonight and be all “oh wait, hey guys, here’s a well-lit porno I taped when I was 22, enjoy”. [Film Drunk]

Ten Toys That ‘Transformed’ Into Television Shows - All I cared about when I was little was He-Man’s Bashasaurus vehicle “transforming” me into a kid who owned the He-Man Bashasaurus. I feel like I would’ve hated these Transformers movies when I was five about as much as I do now. [Warming Glow]

As we mentioned earlier, the NBA is less than two days away from taking a seat next to the NFL at the lockout table, and that means that players are going to have to find new ways to keep themselves entertained until a new Collective Bargaining Agreement is reached. Thankfully, Orlando Magic guard Gilbert Arenas doesn’t have to worry about that because every day is an adventure for the man who recently reunited with Twitter. And according to Arenas’ Twitter account, the one-time superstar has already been keeping himself quite busy by planking.

Arenas’ latest planking exploit took place on teammate Dwight Howard’s Porsche, as you can see above. But Arenas claims that this was his planking finale, one final bang to bid farewell to this ridiculous fad that has somehow killed people. I worry that his retirement from planking may be premature, as Arenas will have to find new fads to keep himself entertained. Just kidding, he’s already got his hands full with more legal problems.

In the meantime, you can enjoy the best of Arenas’ planking exploits – I’m actually impressed by the toll booth – which include a guest appearance from Superman.

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