Dan Marino Is An Elderly Philanthropist And He Wants To Help/Impregnate You

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.26.12

Dan is right: when you’re a multimillionaire, turning 50 is no big d! Make time for yourself!

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IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS: Corky The Criss-Cross Cat Gets Life-Changing Surgery |Gamma Squad|

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No Way He Did This Without Tearing Every Muscle In His Body

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.25.12

Yep, that’s Frank Thomas shooting the puck at a Chicago Blackhawks game and not immediately collapsing in agony. Retirement must be going well for him. Maybe he got a pair of robot legs installed. (via Rant Sports)

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1990 Topps Frank Thomas Error Rookie Card5 Albums Coming Out This Week That Don’t Suck |UPROXX|

Side Effects: Mariah Carey’s Top 20 Hip-Hop Collabos |Smoking Section|

The Definitive List of the 20 Worst TV Theme Songs of All Time |Warming Glow|

Feminist Cthulhu Will Always Remember To Call You, Girl. |Gamma Squad|

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: Mark Wahlberg Undercover, Jake Busey vs. Underground Nazis |Film Drunk|

Watch A 60-inch Vertical Box Jump Through The Lens Of A Camera Phone From 1995 |With Leather|

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Wayne Brady’s “5 Fingers Of Death” Freestyle May Be Better Than Most MCs |Smoking Section|

Charlie Kaufman is adapting a young-adult novel |Film Drunk|

The Best Of The 2012 Drake University Beautiful Bulldog Contest |With Leather|

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