Our look at the best sports moments from shows that aren’t necessarily about sports takes on FX’s ‘Archer’ this week, and if there’s a show the kids at UPROXX love more than ‘Archer,’ I’d like to see it. Inside, you’ll find one of the most clever, obscure, expertly-written shows on television. You’ll also find lacrosse jokes about rock bands from the 1990s, a guy trying to play baseball in space, Ultimate Bum Shock Fights (which are exactly what they sound like), Siamese fighting fish, and more.
So please click through and-or enjoy Sports On TV: ‘Archer’s’ 15 greatest sports moments.
I can’t decide what my favorite part of TABLE TENNIS SURPRISE is — the amazing return shot, the guy who loses’ stunned reaction and awed sportsmanship, or the fact that it sounds like the worst side dish ever. “Here honey, we’re having pot roast, green beans and Table Tennis Surprise.” (via NESN)
Programming Note: Biggest-ever thank you to Burnsy, Danger Guerrero and Maske for holding down the fort yesterday. My return from New Orleans went from “I’ll work in the morning and then leave” to “I’ll leave super early because the Megabus says they have WiFi WHOOPS THE MEGABUS IS LYING, ENJOY 12 HOURS OF TRYING TO WRITE WRESTLING JOKES ON YOUR PHONE” and it delayed the Raw report. That’s coming today. Sorry for any inconvenience. I’ll be happy to send you a refund.
Here’s the Best Table Tennis Shots Of 2012, and it’s a doozy. Behind the back! Under the table! I wish I was as good at anything as these guys are at ping pong. Or, I don’t know, not. (via Bob’s Blitz)
One of my favorite news updates from The Onion, besides the one about the “ask murderer,” is Ping-Pong Somehow Elicits Macho Posturing. Now, thanks to table tennis player and apparent Internet reader Adam Bobrow, that story has become reality.
Bobrow went Full Gangnam Style after scoring a point in the Chancellor Cup in Manila, The Philippines. Maybe if his opponent hadn’t been balls-deep in a Carly Rae Jepsen Flip camera parody video himself, he would’ve seen a ping pong ball flying at him. Bobrow’s excuse:
I was invited to do an exhibition match that was filmed by the national news… I thought you guys would enjoy this. By the way, BIG thanks to my partner in this exhibition… my “opponent”… Peter Francisco! He’s a much better player than me and has a great attitude! Playing with him was an absolute pleasure.
Translation: “I won at ping-pong, so I did a horsey dance and shook my junk around until somebody made me stop. Deal with it.” It’s officially the greatest moment in table tennis history, assuming that stuff with Forrest Gump wasn’t real.
Honestly it’s less “Paralympics ping pong dive” and more “guy falling down during ping-pong”, but it’s clutch, and further proof that I’m 100% terrible at sports with four functioning limbs. (via Bob’s Blitz)
I thought the summary for this video of newly-minted Los Angeles Laker Dwight Howard playing Pop-A-Shot with a kid during a shoe company-sponsored promotional tour of China would be pretty straight-forward (“here’s Dwight Howard doing a thing, everybody”), but I keep noticing funny things about it.
Firstly, it’s from the amazingly-named “funneyballchannel”. Secondly, the description for the YouTube video makes me feel like I just learned how to read. It’s like a basketball ransom collage.
kevin durant China Xi’an station basketball game full Durant’s 2012 China trip casually connected into seven three-pointers China performances overtime, Wu You hit shots, Kevin Durant missed lore ball Really no solution! The Rondo exciting career assists Collection containing the Ten assists Leisure! Rondo 2012 Taiwan Trip bullfighting with people in the streets How Dwight Howard China Shanghai Station
Thirdly, it’s funny enough when Howard starts “cheating” and swatting his opponent’s balls away, but what I love about it is that the kid doesn’t even seem to notice until like three shots have been blocked. I guess that’s how it goes when you’ve locked yourself into Pop-A-Shot greatness. Fourthly, is that the Red Hot Chili Peppers playing in the background? That’s the most surreal soundtrack to a Dwight Howard/Chinese kid arcade showdown ever.
Fifthly, Burnsy is busy for most of the day and doesn’t get to write about this. Sixthly, the follow-up video is Dwight doing shots and screaming I AM A PING PONG MASTAHHHH in a fake Chinese voice when he wins at table tennis: