It has often been said after the dismissal of a prominent head coach that “You can’t fire the infantry.” On Saturday, the Orlando Magic actually did that, executing two blockbuster trades that saw nearly a third of its roster heading elsewhere. The bigger of the two deals was arguably for Gilbert Arenas, who finds himself leaving DC after seven years as a Washington Wizard.

The Magic sent forward Rashard Lewis to Washington and Vince Carter, Mickael Pietrus and Marcin Gortat to Phoenix in a separate trade. Orlando also gave Phoenix its 2011 first-round draft pick and cash and received Suns forward Earl Clark.

“We needed a little bit more punch,” Magic president Otis Smith said. “All those guys coming in have an ability to move the ball. After looking at our team through 25 games, we were missing a little something. I thought change was needed.”

–Fox Sports.

From Phoenix, Orlando acquired Jason Richardson and Hedo Turkoglu, who rejoins the team after departing for Toronto as a free agent in 2009. It’s an insanely busy roster shuffling, and one has to wonder now if the state of Florida’s new Big Three will get their act together like their counterparts down south. Arenas, Hedu and Dwight Howard is no LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh, but it’ll be fun to see how close they can make the comparison.

The American Mustache Institute has announced its list of 19 finalists for this year’s Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. Sadly, your elementary school lunch lady once again missed the cut. But the sporting world has some well-known names up for this fuzzy honor, including Minnesota Twins pitcher Carl Pavano, Sacramento mayor and former Phoenix Suns guard Kevin Johnson, Chicago Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville, Major League Baseball umpire Jim Joyce, and the UTEP Miners mascot, Paydirt Pete. Pete is also a nominee for the New Face of NAMBLA competition.

The AMI Goulet awards are not a contest of the greatest mustache, but rather the celebration of the person who best represents mustached Americans. You know, if you put it that way, I have to put my vote with Carl Pavano. Think about it – he took fat paychecks from a large American company to rarely show up for work, was eventually let go, and now he collects paychecks from a smaller American company just to spend the rest of his days on easy street. *wipes away single tear* That’s a gosh-darned American right there.

Rest of the fur-lipped nominees after the jump:

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Steve Nash did this ad for a certain sports drink company which looks a lot like “Space Ghost: Coast To Coast,” which was a funny concept back in its day. It’s a cartoon superhero hosting a late-night talk show, except all of his guests come in via teleconference. Oh, and look how he berates each one! So humorous.

Anyway, I always wondered how they captured that footage of the “guest.” It’s obviously not beamed in. I wonder if they told Steve that he was doing a telethon for Muscular Dystrophy or something. We should rip on MD more; it seems like they always get a pass when it comes to disease comedy. –via Sportress of Blogitude.

2 time NBA MVP Steve Nash has a chance to get his team even with the Lakers tonight in Phoenix. Nash has been getting his ass kicked all playoffs, and that trend continued Sunday night. In a move that some people mistook for a pick instead of an itch, Nash moved his broken nose back into place during the game. Video after the jump.

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The addition of Shaquille O’Neal to the Cleveland Cavaliers obviously overshadows the subtraction of same from the Phoenix Suns. And now a report from Tim Povtak on Fanhouse indicates that the influence of Suns point guard Steve Nash was one of the primary reasons Phoenix pulled the trigger on the five-player deal that sent Shaq to Cleveland:

According to an NBA source, Nash expressed his displeasure with O’Neal during a meeting last week in New York with general manager Steve Kerr.

Nash, still one of the best point guards in the NBA, will become a free agent after this season if the Suns can’t sign him this summer to a contract extension.

“I think he told him [Kerr] that if O’Neal was there, [Nash] wouldn’t be around much longer,” said the NBA source who requested his name not be used. “That pretty much sealed it.”

Obviously Shaq’s lumbering presence in the lane doesn’t really mesh with the run-and-gun style that the Suns have been known for of late. But also consider that Phoenix missed the playoffs last year and that O’Neal is scheduled to make $20 million in ’09-10, it makes even better sense for that team. And think how much legroom is freed up on the team bus now. Yeah, Steve Nash rules that team with an iron fist. A girly, Canadian iron fist, but iron nonetheless.

The Granny Shot might be enjoying a bit of a renaissance after this heave from Seattle resident Rhett Brown. During a timeout with 7:59 left in the second quarter, Brown reached down to knee level and heaved a perfect swish to win $77,777. What, no 77 cents? I call bullshit. Especially if this guy is driving all the way down from Seattle just to see a game. Shit, if I knew I was gonna pocket 77 large, I would have done the same. Provided I didn’t have to sit through the first quarter of that game.