Sports By Brooks recognized an interesting anniversary today. Thirty years ago, a journeyman outfielder for the Dodgers Cubs named Rick Monday (no relation, we assume) approached a couple of fans who had wandered onto the field to burn an American flag. Monday grabbed the flag and ran off with it.

From the now-Tunison-less Washington Post:

"I was angry when I saw them start to do something to the flag, and I'm glad that I happened to be geographically close enough to do something about it," said Monday, now in his 13th season as a Dodgers broadcaster. "What those people were doing, and their concept of what they were trying to do was wrong. That feeling was very strongly reinforced by six years in the United States Marine Corps Reserves. I still think it's wrong to do that."

Ah, I remember those days. Now, all the outfielders are baseball teams are Japanese. Just like our TVs. It's not too big a deal, really, as long as the rest of the world still likes us.  — Monday Morning Punter

Surprise, the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers defeated the Detroit Pistons 90-86 in Game 1 of their first-round playoff series tonight. In a related story, I incorrectly wagered $76 on this contest. Anyway, Rasheed Wallace took the blame:

Wallace missed a shot near the basket that would have tied it at 88. “I’m going to put this one me,” Wallace said. “There’s no excuses. The last bunny, that was a bucket I should’ve made. I’m going to take this one on the chin.”

You can read more about how one of Philly's own fans didn't think Reggie Evans was any match for Wallace at Need4Sheed.com. If the #7 seed can upset the #2, imagine the havoc the 11th place finisher of the Eastern Conference could cause in the playoffs. But since they fired Jim "Rockford" Boylan, I guess we'll never know. Also, they only let the top 8 finishers into the post-season. Stop by tomorrow morning for the Chief's authoritative analysis of this and other playoff matches. Perhaps he'll even offer an opinion on the NHL . . . nah. -KD  

Photo credit: Getty Images

You'll never guess which city has the ugliest fan base:

Philadelphia is home to the least attractive people in the United States, a survey of visitors and residents showed on Friday.  The city of more than 1.5 million people was also found to be among the least stylish, least active, least friendly and least worldly, according to the "America's Favorite Cities" survey by Travel & Leisure magazine and CNN Headline News . . . Philadelphians' self-esteem has been undermined by national surveys showing they are among the fattest people in the United States. The American Obesity Association ranked the city in the top 10 for overweight people every year between 2000 and 2005.

Who would've guessed that the least attractive people live where New Jersey meets Pennsylvania?  Not me, but of course I've been to St. Louis.  I assume now that the swamp village on the mighty Mississippi utilizes half of its budget to bribe the compilers of polls such as this.  And why would Philly's self-esteem be undermined by being fat?  My home town has won that title several times, including last year, and we wear it as a badge of honor.  I guess that what makes us cool . . . and very heavy breathers. -KD

David Wells, the aging, overweight diabetic who last year was stricken with gout, returned to the mound last night as a Dodger, spinning five innings of work to get the victory in a 6-2 win over the Mets.  The highlight of the night may very well have been the 44-year-old's bunt single in the fifth inning (thanks to commenters TEXAS and Camp Tiger Claw, who noted that he also probably knows more about bundt cakes and gunts than bunts).  Wells described his performance and state of well being after the game as such:

"I might not look sexy, but I feel sexy."

If I've learned anything from Oprah, it's that "sexy" has nothing to do with your appearance and everything to do with your confidence and self-esteem.  Which is probably why she has a show that appeals to fatass Midwestern housewives, because nobody sitting on their couch watching TV wants to be told that they're ugly as hell.  But I'm here to break it to you: if you like watching Oprah, you're not only fat, but also a complete simpleton.  How you've survived this long is a mystery.

[FanHaus]

In her blog on MLB.com last week, the lovely Alyssa Milano addressed a letter to Dodger manager Grady Little and made the following request:

I beg of you, in the future please refrain from batting anyone with a batting average under the Mendoza Line in the CLEANUP spot. I'm all for [Olmedo] Saenz getting the start at first to get some more at-bats and give [James] Loney a break, but you may want to consider batting him appropriately for a .185 hitter. Just a suggestion. Call me crazy.

No, I would never call you crazy Alyssa.  Unless, for instance, you were wearing leather, had a whip, entranced me to remove my trousers , and then said "Call me a crazy witch!"  Sure, then I'd call you crazy.  Anyway, Robyn Norwood of the L.A. Times had this response to Miss Milano's open letter:

Impressions: Nice use of sarcasm . . . But she might cause a little trouble in the clubhouse by ripping the manager so specifically, considering she has dated Brad Penny and Russell Martin.

Oh, snap!

One other thing: In light of her dating activity, maybe "Touch 'em all" isn't the best title for her blog.

Rawr!!  I love catfights.  They remind me of grammar school when the nuns would beat the female students whose uniform skirts didn't reach their knee.  Good times. -KD

(Thanks to Panger from Foul Balls for the tip.)    

Aaron Harang and the Reds shut out the Dodgers 1-0 last night, sending Los Angeles to its sixth straight loss.  The Dodgers have now been shut out three consecutive games and haven't scored in 28 innings.  How are the Dodgers going to produce runs?  Well, the '86 Mets and strippers tell me cocaine helps you score, so maybe they should look into it.  Is there any cocaine in LA?

Harang gave up just four hits in eight innings of work to improve to 11-3 on a team that can't score runs and is habitually 15 games under .500 — pretty impressive.  Ken Griffey Jr (of course) drove in the Reds' only run, and even robbed the Dodgers of a couple hits with some impressive plays in the outfield.  The Reds are now 49-64.  That's good enough for, what?  Second place in the NL Central?

Other MLB scores: Kip Wells, inspired by LaFawnduh, outduels Maddux as Cards win 2-1… Red Sox beat Angels 9-6 to avoid sweep.  Dustin Pedroia and Mike Lowell led the offense, while the bullpen kept the Angels in check after Jon Lester was chased early… Juan Uribe's two-run homer ends 13-inning marathon; White Sox win 6-4 over Tribe… Wang-Halladay: Roy K's 8 in 7 innings as Jays cool off Yanks.