Since there’s no artsy gallery of riot photos from downtown Los Angeles this morning, we’ve got the next best thing: players dropping f-bombs in live post-game interviews.

By way of Larry Brown Sports comes Kings captain Dustin Brown being asked if the ever thought the team would win it all following their 6-1 championship victory over the Devils in game 6. His response, which is sure to be on Kings-related merch from now until the end of time, boiled down to F**K YEAH I DID.

As great as that is (and congratulations to the Kings … I can’t wait to start cheering for the Caps again when the 2012-13 NHL season starts up next week), it got me thinking of the greatest f-yeah-bomb ever dropped in a postseason celebration: Chase Utley’s WORLD CHAMPIONS~ in the 2008 World Series victory parade in Philadelphia:

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My friends ask me all the time, “Burnsy, why are you always making all of those crazy photoshops and are you ever going to pay us the money you owe?” and my answers are “Because one day I hope that an athlete might notice something I did and truly appreciate it” and “HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!”

Well, that day is finally here, friends. Our beloved peers at Zoo With Roy recently had the incredibly adorable Awesome Emma interview Philadelphia Phillies ace Cole Hamels – a guy I truly enjoy watching pitch despite not being a Phillies fan – at an event for his Hamels Foundation. The entire video is worth a watch, because Emma is impossibly delightful and has a very bright future, but for those of you saddled with ADD, the payoff comes around the 3:15 mark.

A few weeks ago, Zoo With Roy sent out the battle cry for photoshops of a specific picture of Hamels, and I answered with a few. One was the above image of Hamels on Splash Mountain, and it turns out that he was quite fond of it.

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Whereas 2011 was a high point in investigative journalism with the Jerry Sandusky and Bernie Fine cases, 2012 is clearly the year of streaker news. Already, our good friend Jon Bois at SB Nation has been keeping incredible track of the baseball season’s early abundance of streakers – most notably in Baltimore – but last night’s game between the Cardinals and Phillies at Busch Stadium marked the pinnacle in the journalistic attention to naked dudes.

Between our other good friend Matt Sebek from Joe Sports Fan and Yahoo! baseball writer Jeff Passan, we were given a clinic on how you cover and investigate a naked man on a baseball field. Thanks to Passan, we know that last night’s Busch streaker is 22-year old Jefferson Cirty landscaper Collin Grundstrom – talk about a Yard Crasher! *slide whistle* – and we also learned that he rushed the field for the most important reason of all – why the f*ck not?

“I’m gonna streak,” he announced at the beginning of the St. Louis Cardinals-Philadelphia Phillies game to those within earshot of Section 133, Row 5, Seat 4. At first, they chuckled. Then they started to believe him. Which was followed by attempts to dissuade him. And ultimate acceptance that, yes, Grundstrom was gonna streak, and it was only a matter of when.

“He was very nonchalant,” said Sheila Welch, a Cardinals fan who sat behind Grundstrom. “I tried to tell him he’d go to jail. He didn’t care. I hope his friend thinks that was awesome.”

The most important aspect of this story – even more important than that incredibly well-taken banner image – is that Grundstrom has a large tattoo across his midsection and Passan also pointed out that it reads: “Hakuna Matata”. It means no worries for the rest of your life, except when a fat security guard is Tazing you.

Video after the jump, via Joe Sports Fan, and while it’s taken from a distance, it is still a naked dude so use your discretion.

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One of my all-time favorite things to do is scour the depths of Etsy for random crap, because it’s just amazing how much awesomely ridiculous stuff people can create and sell on the Internet these days. But nothing gets my PayPal account pumping more than the sports gear that dedicated Etsy sellers have whipped up, and that’s why I want to devote this new weekly feature to finding my favorite Etsy sports merchandise, starting with that Tim Tebow pillar candle above.

Sure, I just pointed out that Tebow’s got a team of trademark-happy lawyers that are suing people for making things that don’t even mention the New York Jets backup QB’s name, but that’s not going to stop any of us from grabbing one of these $5 candles and letting the Jets fan upstairs know that we’re pushing for Tebow to get the other New York team a Super Bowl win.

After the jump, get in the gift-giving mood, because Etsy’s got every sport covered…

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The Phillie Phanatic (a person/bird/thing I legitimately love more than most members of my family) is out for revenge. After traveling home to the Galapagos Islands to learn about his heritage and selflessly building homes for the less fortunate, what does he find? That a recent poll from the celebrity Davie-Brown Index ranked him as only the second-best mascot in the game … behind Mr. Met.

And yeah, I’m guessing the poll was 80% New Yorkers naming the only mascot they could remember, but that’s a travesty. A Jim Henson creation who has set the bar for mascot excellence for almost 40 years finishes behind a guy with a baseball head, because “baseball”. A f**king disgrace.

The Phanatic paid a visit to the New York Mets announce booth to address the situation, if we take “address the situation” to mean “polish Gary Cohen’s head” and make people wear cheesesteak hats. At least he got Cohen to say he likes his with whiz. The Phanatic isn’t as aggressive as I’d like him to be.

Video is below.

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“Sorry, homeless people, your house isn’t gonna be ready on time. We let a giant bird help us and he mostly just f**ked around and put holes in the wall.”

Or, if you prefer:

The Phillie Phanatic came to 1450 Marston Street to help Habitat Philadelphia staff put the finishing touches on the home for the Marston Family! :)

I think the only thing I like writing about more than fake fighting and Kate Upton is the Phillie Phanatic, the undisputed king of mascots (suck it, Paws) and the only living-ish entity who can make me watch four minutes of someone pretending to hit their thumb with a hammer. If I could have one person build a home for me it would be the Phanatic, and I’d be happy living in a ramshackle hut put together by someone who for all intents and purposes does not have eyes.

Phanatic should take his homebuilding skills to ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’ and build somebody a room filled with nothing but bald guys who need their scalp rubbed with a towel and looked into like a mirror.

[h/t to Marty Cozzola]