I’m sure there’s plenty of NFL news and notes to update today, but the majority of games were on Saturday and you’ve probably seen Jerome Simpson landing a flip into the end zone 600 times by now (if you haven’t, it’s here). What you may not have seen nearly enough of are NFL cheerleaders dressed in all of their best holiday attire during the NFL’s Week 15 and 16 action. And I know that most of them are dressed like Santa Claus to honor Christmas, but I say holiday attire because the Indianapolis Colts cheerleaders wore blue and white so they could technically be giving the NFL’s Jewish fans some bigger candles this Hanukkah season.

Among the teams to feature their festive females were the Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles, Tennessee Titans, Baltimore Ravens, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Colts, Buffalo Bills, Oakland Raiders, among others. And even the Los Angeles Clippers’ dancers got in on the action, as if to say, “Merry Christmas, NBA fans who stayed up late to watch the newest media bandwagon darling lay a complete thrashing on the Golden State Warriors.” Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, indeed, friends of With Leather.

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Links

Meet Sherman Klump, The Pissed Off Philadelphia Eagles Fan - And speaking of Eddie Murphy losing his dignity, listen to his overweight gent yell “motherf**ker” about the Eagles non-stop for several minutes. [Smoking Section]

UFC Sues New York For Breach Of First Amendment Rights - Sometimes I don’t think people know there’s more than one amendment to reference. I want to drive my car into someone biking on the side of the road and then sue them for impeding my first amendment rights. [Cage Potato]

Fair To Flair - I’m linking you to their podcast tag, because I appear on the next one that goes up. I spent an hour and a half last night yammering on about the Black Scorpion, it was great. You’ll want to hear it. [Fair To Flair]

Warming Glow’s Guide to Celebrity Impersonators You Can Hire on the Internet - Check this out, then compare and contrast it to Progressive Boink’s version from 2005. I think “celebrity impersonator” might rank below “crack whore” on society’s list of sad people. [Warming Glow]

The Movie Dad Hall of Shame - I love that Daddy Day Care is listed as the moment when Eddie Murphy lost his dignity. Not the transvestite hooker thing, Daddy Day Care. [UPROXX]

LA’s “Occupy Twilight” Line As Depressing As You Think - Enghhh. Why not “occupy” the book store long enough to find something good to read? [Gamma Squad]

Expendables 2 Is Scaring Off All Of Bulgaria’s Endangered Bats - Who cares what we’re doing to the world, Dolph Lundgren needs a paycheck. [Film Drunk]

Gosling Was Robbed! - baby goose nooooo [Buzzfeed]

10 Turkey-Flavored Foods That Look Absolutely Disgusting - One turkey-flavored food that doesn’t look disgusting is the bad ass Tofurky vegetarian roast sitting in my freezer right now. Next Thursday is going to rule so hard. [The FW]

‘Community’: Show Your Support and Goatee Yourself! - If you put it on your inner leg you can show support for ‘Whitney’! [AOL TV]

Eight Old-Timey Insults that Need to Make a Comeback - Old timey talk in general needs to make a comeback. I want to be normal, reasonable human Jimmy Stewart, living in a Jimmy Stewart movie where everyone else is doing the NOW YOU LISTEN HERE, SEE thing. [The Smoking Jacket]

The 13 Crappiest Movies of Mickey Rourke’s Career - I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with Pajiba. We should hold an opinion-off. That Bond kid movie looks wretched, sure, but Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man? Dissing Bob Dylan? Get bent. [Pajiba]

Viewer warning: Starting about when Meredith Marakovits says she “tucka loaka round”, this video clip from P.J. Whelihans in Downingtown becomes extremely Pennsylvanian.

Feast at least part of your ears on the continually-distraught “Angry” Greg Ryan, Philadelphia Eagles fan and local celebrity drinker whose impassioned commentary on his favorite downtrodden football team’s performance during their 21-17 loss to the Arizona Cardinals borders on “It’s Still Real To Me, Dammit” and draws the most amazing look of “this f**ken guy” from Meredith. She should win a cable Emmy for her face during this.

Highlights of the video include the impossibly-disgusted way he says “deh Cleveland Browns”, his extended ship allegories and that amazing moment at 2:01 where she asks him if he’ll keep supporting the team and he’s forced, if only for a moment, to reevaluate his entire life. The highlights of the video’s YouTube page are those crazy comments about the FBI has declassified documents about how many Super Bowls Michael Vick would’ve won by now had it not been for George Bush and Dick Cheney.

Also, how creepy is the Comcast team at the end? The “what Meredith doesn’t understand is that there is no next week” comes off sounding less like football talk and more like ominous prognostication. Don’t look at me like that, I don’t root for the Eagles.

[h/t Cosby Sweaters]

“Man, why does every sports fan gotta rap some?” I don’t know, all I know is he’s the best one.

Met this guy while filming at Monday Night Football – Eagles vs Bears. Learned to rap back in the 80′s from inmates at a correctional facility where he was a guard for 25 years until retiring 6 years ago. Says he’d rap on the yard and instead of attacking him the inmates would laugh at him and drop him some beats!

I can’t decide which part of this video is my favorite. The Brent Celek jersey? The f**king Beer Belt? I think it’s #18 back there responding to “like they say liquor first never fear” with a little squeaky “oh” like he’s Mac from ‘It’s Always Sunny’. To this guy’s credit he does a pretty good job freestyling what really goes on in his hood (getting drunk, watching the Eagles, getting drunk), but to his discredit he does it for almost two minutes and by the end of it you’re kinda tired of him rhyming sh*t with ‘quicka’ and even the cameraman is zooming around trying to find something else to do.

He’ll give you all of him until there’s nothing left. He swears this summer will be training camp. Bitch.

[via Guyism]

“Hello, YouTube.”

In our continuing effort to share with you the brightest and most athletic moments of the NFL week, here’s a clip of Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce accidentally slam dunking a football into his taint because he forgot where Michael Vick was standing. It’s like watching a chicken birth an egg in high-speed reverse. He just crams it in there and starts running off like a frat pledge with a pickle up his ass.

Vick recovered the ball (possibly because nobody else wanting to touch it), and to his credit it was his heads-up reaction to the mis-snap that helped maintain possession of the ball and keep Philadelphia’s eventual 34-7 victory looking like a blowout.

Also blown out: Jason Kelce’s o-ring.

[h/t Shutdown Corner]

I hear it makes a great chew toy!

Links

Bleacher Creatures: Collect Them All, Put On A Creepy Puppet Show - I’d buy these, but I’m afraid they’ll try to teach me parables about Christianity. Especially the Kurt Warner one. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

The Seven Most Insanely Dangerous Combat Sports Ever Invented - I love the guy in the X-Arm video being all “oh wow a former champion it’s an honor to be working with him” when the work they’re doing is arm wrestling + kicking. [Cage Potato]

These Vintage Mad Men Playboy Covers Are Pretty F-ing Fantastic - Hell’s balls, Trudy! [UPROXX]

‘Playboy Club’ Wins Race to Be First Cancellation of the Season! - Who knew a show about a sex club on network TV wouldn’t do well? Good luck to Amber Heard, who probably already has three failed shows lined up for next year. [Warming Glow]

Star Trek And Star Wars Quiet Books Are Homemade Awesome - These are neat, and legitimately the best thing made with “Star Wars” on it since like 1980. [Gamma Squad]

New York Man Takes Wicker Man Cosplay Too Far - This sounds too much like a plot from ‘The Brady Bunch’. I was hoping this would be about a guy who covered himself with sticks and set himself on fire. [Film Drunk]

Four Loko Folds Under FTC Pressure, Updates Alcohol Content Warning - The new warning reads, “Why are you drinking this? Do you hate yourself?” and possibly “#areyouseriousbro” [Smoking Section]

Chris Christie’s Presidential Announcement (With Fat Cats) - This is the future of news. The next time something like 9/11 happens, we’re gonna have to put up with the rainbow pop tart cat flying around in the background. [Buzzfeed]

Thomas Jane Pretty Much Just Said That As A Struggling Actor He’d Have Sex With Men For Sandwiches Or Something - He’s just trying to get his kids back. [FARK]

9 Television Shows from the ’60s That Haven’t Been Made into Movies… Yet - Speaking of The Brady Bunch, I’m gonna go watch that movie again. “YES, I’M IN THE MIDDLE.” [Moviefone|

The Perfect Halloween Costume for One-Legged Ladies - If you don't like this, you can always be Zach Gowen. [The Daily What]

Mindhole Blowers: 20 Facts About Bridesmaids That Might Make You Sh*t Your Pants - Oh man, these facts! My pants! [Pajiba]