Phil Mickelson has a tendency to either be an incredibly clutch golfer or one of the biggest choke artists in all of sports. He of the hot, cancer-stricken wife had another chance to overtake Tiger Woods and ascend to No. 1 on the PGA Tour’s ranking system. How did he respond? By shooting a 3 over on Friday to miss the cut at the Colonial.

“I played terrible. I don’t know what to say,” Mickelson said. “The course was in great shape, there was no wind and there were a lot of birdies out there, and I just played terrible.” –USAToday

Well, at least he has the balls to admit it. Tiger holds on to his number one spot, which he has had for the past 260 weeks (you did the math right, that’s 5 years), and a total 602 weeks throughout his career. That’s some pretty hardcore domination right there. Domination that Tiger might be into sexually. Oh, wait. Tiger went to rehab, so obviously he won’t be doing anything lascivious ever again. Read the rest of this entry »

Sunday capped off an impressive day of golf at The Masters, one that saw that one guy that doesn’t cut his hair win his third green jacket at Augusta National. But Phil Mickelson, who was in Sunday’s final pairing with that other guy that choked away the lead, wasn’t the day’s only shining star.

• Korean-looking American Anthony Kim and actual Korean K.J. Choi fired a 65 and 69, respectively. Choi, who was paired with Tiger Woods on Sunday, had a chance to get surge up the leaderboard but had trouble with his putts. That’s interesting since over the last five months, we’ve learned that Tiger also had issues with his putz.
• No, seriously, Choi looked anything but comfortable heading up the back nine, playing like a guy who was about to be assassinated by Kim Jong-il at any given time. Still, Kim and Choi finished third and fourth, respectively, which is a lot better than the Polish president did this weekend.
• Fred Couples, age 50, fell out of contention early Sunday and finished the day at two under. He took sixth.
• Tiger’s bizarre three putt on 14, where he missed a hasty four-footer, took away what chance he had of catching Mickelson. He finished with a 69, which is hilarious. If you’re twelve.
• We get it. Amy Mickelson has cancer.
• Let’s hope that Jim Nantz’ call of “One for the family” after Mickelson’s win was more in support of Amy’s battle than a philanderer (Nantz) presumably calling out another philander. It seems like dubious timing for a guy screwing around on his wife
• Phil Mickelson is a fat douchebag. I’m not the first one to say this, but the only reason he hasn’t cheated on his wife is because there is no other woman out there that would have sex with Phil Mickelson. Man boobs and inappropriately long hair is fine…if you’re Mark Henry.
• Seriously, why are we championing Phil for not sleeping around? That’s like praising Gabourey Sidibe for not posing in Playboy. Too many people with common sense would prevent that from happening. conceivable

So I’m perfectly content to ignore golf now until the US Open, or until Tiger Woods enters another tournament. I really don’t have a problem with Phil winning, he’s talented enough, but parading him around on TV like he’s some hero of virtue really pisses me off. The guy won a golf tournament. It’s not like he…uh…cured cancer or anything.

From the desk of Kinda Mind Blowing But Not Really: the betting odds for winning the Masters have been released, and you know who is the projected favorite, at 3 to 1. Devil Ball Golf cites British bookmaker William Hill, who set Tigers odds at 4 to 1. Which is amazing, since the last time Tiger Woods saw someone else swing a golf club, it was reportedly being aimed at his face.

It’s not that big of a surprise. People will throw money at his name if he has a broken arm, so it makes sense for the sportsbooks to hedge their risk, seeing as more people will probably bet on Tiger Woods than all the other golfers combined, even at such a horrible price. But the average golf fan won’t recognize the value of Zach Johnson at 40 to 1, or Retief Goosen at 33 to 1. Even Phil Mickelson, at 7 to 1, makes more sense. But even Lefty doesn’t make us care about golf the way Tiger does. Partly because Phil hasn’t conclusively banged droves of women.

The Masters “Tuh-na-mint” starts April 8th. A complete list of Bodog’s odds are after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

That whiny little milquetoast Scott McCarron got his way. After having an allowance created for its specially-grooved wedges for use in PGA Tour play, golf manufacturer Ping is relenting.

John Solheim, the chairman and CEO of Ping, said the Phoenix-based company is waiving its right that had kept the PGA Tour from banning Ping Eye2 wedges made before April 1, 1990 that have deeper, wide grooves no longer allowed under new USGA regulations.

Those wedges were allowed through a 1990 settlement from when Ping sued the PGA Tour and U.S. Golf Association. Phil Mickelson, Hunter Mahan, John Daly and Fred Couples were among players who used the Ping wedges. It had become such a divisive issue that Scott McCarron accused Mickelson of “cheating” by using the club. –Y! Sports.

The men that play on the PGA Tour are the biggest bitches in sports. Ooh, we don’t want to play with Tiger. Ooh, we don’t want to play with Annika. Wah, this caviar is room temperature. Honestly, you could give one of those pricks a million dollars and all they would do is complain about the taxes. Don’t take this the wrong way, Scott McCarron, but I hope you die in a fire while falling off a cliff holding a live hand grenade. It’s nothing personal, aside from the fact that I personally hate you. Other than that, we’re totally cool.

I have a problem with pro golfers in general, most of them seem like a bunch of whiners in their little traveling country club where they seem content to just make a few cuts every year and not make any sort of push for a title. Scott McCarron and his three PGA tour wins should be a little better than that, but no. McCarron is the guy doing most of the whining about Phil Mickelson’s “new” old wedges, and he has had a difficult time defending some of his comments.

McCarron issued a statement Monday in which he wanted to clarify that while he believes “it’s cheating” for Mickelson and anyone else to use the Ping wedges, “I never called Phil Mickelson a cheater.”

McCarron said to use the Ping wedges violated the spirit of the rule. –Y! Sports.

Oh, you want to talk “spirit of the rule?” Let’s talk about that fuggin’ pool cleaner that you use for a putter, Scott. I’m sure that chest-high mallet you keep in your bag doesn’t give you any sort of advantage, does it?

[From 1996, emphasis added:] McCarron, 30, got the idea of going to the long putter in 1991…”I would not be where I am now without the long putter,” McCarron said after Sunday’s win. –SI.com.

Ask the right golfer about long putters–which must be braced against the body for use–and you might see him shoot coffee through his nose, enraged. There’s more debate about their place in the game, a LOT more, than anything Mickelson is doing. Mickelson’s clubs fall outside of the ban just as your stupid putter does, Scott. Tend to your own bag, sir, and maybe try to win your first tournament in nine years. Prick.

Tiger Woods is already leading the PGA Championship after shooting a five-under-par 67 today, and that’s good enough for me. Honestly, I don’t see the point in making a whole weekend out of these tournaments. When you have a “championship” every week, the concept seems to be diluted just a bit.

Even when Tiger wins five tournaments in a season, people flip out when he hasn’t won a major, like they’re scolding the kid that honestly forgot to brush his teeth one night. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS ALL THE TIME! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU! It’s still fascinating that the citizens of Cablinasia are (a) so disappointed whenever Tiger falters, and (b) equally overjoyed when he doesn’t. It’s the same level of joy that was felt when your dad cut ass at the dinner table. When Tiger wins, we want him to do it again, and he rarely disappoints.

But that Phil Mickelson? Well, his wife got cancer, and we still hate that asshole. For so long has Mickelson been anointed the Great White Hope that could give Tiger a challenge week after week. Not so much. But Padraig Harrington, who was rushed into defeat last week if you believe Tiger’s side of the argument, stands poised to give Woods another run. And that’s nice. Cute, really. But we know how this is going to end. So just give Tiger the PGA trophy now, his one major for the year, and then get ready for football.