"Man, this place looks ruff."

Two weeks ago, we mentioned that Tiger Woods’ ex-wife Elin Nordegren (inset, attractive) had bulldozed her $12 million home, with very little reasoning or explanation other than she didn’t like it. Turns out that was a little off, thank goodness, because she had somehow found a way to make herself into at least 1/10th of the villain that El Tigre had.

Nordegren recently defended her decision and explained with verification from her construction team that the house was a death trap, as it had been riddled by termites and rot, which I assume is also her nickname for Woods’ genitals.

So not only does she have a great reason for having to tear down the house that will now ultimately cost her close to $25 million, but she also made the best of it for the sake of helping charity. Before the house was demolished, Nordegren had the construction workers go through the house and salvage anything they could – chandeliers, window frames, doors, etc. – and she donated them all to Habitat for Humanity.

You know, if she wasn’t already seeing another billionaire, I might have considered dating this woman.

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The past two years have been pretty tough on Tiger Woods, what with that whole wife finding out that he was banging escorts, porn stars and Perkins waitresses and then that whole other plummeting to 52nd on the World Golf Rankings because he suddenly sucks. And factor in Elin Nordegren taking him to the cleaners for a few hundred million and then shaking her ass in front of any billionaire with eyes, and life has kind of sucked for the guy whose life was seemingly unsuckable.

Well say goodbye to those losing ways, friends, because El Tigre is back in the W column. Trailing Zach Johnson by one stroke heading into the final round of the Chevron World Challenge, Woods shot a 3-under round to secure his first tournament victory since the 2009 Australian Masters. Fist pumps and chest bumps, big guy.

Asked to describe his feelings after ending his lengthy title drought, 14-times major champion Woods replied: “It feels awesome, whatever that is.

“I know it’s been a while, but also for some reason it feels like it hasn’t (been a while) because when I was coming down the stretch there I felt so comfortable.

“Was I nervous? Absolutely. I’m always nervous in that position but it’s a comfortable feeling, and I enjoy being in that position,” added Woods, who will rise to 21st when the new world rankings are issued on Monday.

(Via the Montreal Gazette)

Tiger is like the New York Yankees and Duke Blue Devils all rolled into one when it comes to the polarity of golf fans. I know a ton of people who have reveled in his failures over the past two years for reasons like, “Screw him, he cheated on his hot wife” or “He just seems like a pompous a-hole” or “It’s just not fun when he wins all the time.” But I think it’s a hell of a lot of fun when he wins all the time.

I love seeing the other golfers like Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els act all pissy when Tiger runs away with a major tourney, and while I still appreciate when younger guys like Johnson, Rory McIlroy and especially Bubba Watson win, it’s just so much more entertaining when Tiger is locked in. And hopefully he celebrated this victory locked between two Vivid Girls.

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Deal with it.

The 2011 Presidents Cup came and went without much fanfare, mainly because the U.S. rules while the rest of the world drools. To be fair, that’s the rest of the world without Europe, because the motherland’s best golfers save their efforts for the Ryder Cup, at which the U.S. does the bulk of the sucking. But this weekend’s win improved the American team’s record at the Presidents Cup to 7-1-1, and the hubbub surrounding this year’s W is all about Tiger Woods.

First off, U.S. captain Fred Couples received a lot criticism for choosing Woods over PGA champion Keegan Bradley. Couples, though, reminded everyone that Woods will always be the best golfer in the world to him, so he was banking on that guy showing up. And though Woods accounted for just 2 of America’s 19 points, he did give the best performance of the event in his singles match on Sunday, so of course Couples is doing a little air humping.

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CBS Sports golf writer Steve Elling Tweeted the above photo yesterday, and if he’s to be believed, these four Gollums stalked Sergio Garcia throughout this past weekend’s 93rd PGA Championship at the Atlanta Athletic Club. Nevermind that Keegan Bradley defeated Jason Dufner in a playoff, as both golfers erupted from obscurity. I’m downright concerned for the safety of golf’s elite athletes.

OK, maybe elite is generous, as Garcia hasn’t won anything of note since 2008. But maybe that’s their thing – they stalk professional golfers who may have given up on life as their prime slips away. If that’s the case, then God help us all when they learn about Tiger Woods.

Full image of these hobgoblins after the jump.

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The chances of getting hit in the temple by a flying golf ball during the AT&T National are pretty slim — most golfers are able to properly drive a ball off the tee, and most spectators are aware enough to move out of the way. The chances of getting hit by a flying golf ball and having it indirectly diagnose a malignant tumor on your thyroid gland is even more rare, but hey, I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.

During last year’s 18th hole at Aronimink Golf Club, former PGA rookie of the year Sean O’Hair hit a wayward shot off the tee and struck 25-year old spectator Chris Logan in the side of the head. As Philly.com reveals, the sh:tty excuse for golf was a blessing in disguise.

As emergency medical technicians hustled him to a nearby tent to be examined, Logan had no idea this would be the luckiest day of his life.

While checking him out for a concussion, a doctor inquired about a lump just below his throat and urged him to visit his family doctor to get it checked out. The lump turned out to be a malignant tumor on his thyroid. He underwent two surgeries less than six weeks after being struck by the ball.

And now, a year later, Logan is completely cancer-free and spending quality time during this year’s practice round with the golfer who saved his life. I’m always happy to read positive stories like this, and who knows, maybe those women Tiger Woods slept will waltz into a Planned Parenthood and come out knowing they’d accidentally contracted gout. All of them.

[h/t Devil Ball Golf]

Hey guys, check it out, I just got a job writing for Cracked magazine. A guy named Bubba wants to get together a bunch of PGA golfers and form the first all-golfer boy band. Wait, this is real?

“I’ve got two words for you. Before I tell you those two words, I’m going to build it up,” Watson joked. “I should be in the media.”

Then, he gave the media just a little taste of what to expect.

“There’s going to be a group of guys, and the two words are Boy Band. I’m going to leave it at that. And it involves Ben, me and maybe a couple others. But Boy Band.”

Did Tiger Woods cheating on his wife break whatever mystical seal existed that was ket young white golfers from losing their minds and coming up with terrible ideas for things on the Internet? Ben Crane pulls a Brian Wilson and all of a sudden everybody is a wacky guy just tryin’ t’have fun.

Anyway, alternate titles for this blog post included “Drive the Ball ‘N Sync a Putt,” “I Didn’t Know They Had Golf Tournaments In O-Town,” “Bubba Watson Golfed a Plus One” or “Bubba Watson Should Take Five Strokes,” “Watson Slices Ball 98 Degrees” and “A New Edition of Golf Digest.” None of them should be typed, but the O-Town one is pretty funny. I tried to work “LFO” into an “LOL” or “LMAO” thing, but it didn’t work, just like LFO.

[via Sportress of Blogitude]