If you missed the last five minutes of last night’s game between the Colts and Patriots–which is not a rivalry but a fine matchup nonetheless–you saw Bill Belichick instantly shed the label of “coaching genius” when he sent his offense back out onto the field for a 4th and 2 play from his own 28 yard line. With a six-point lead, Tom Brady threw a screen pass to Kevin Faulk, who bobbled the ball in front of the chains, completed the catch, and was knocked backwards by the Colts’ defense. The ball was spotted short of the first down just before the 2-minute warning, and the Patriots, having used two timeouts on their very short drive, could not challenge the call. Peyton drives the Colts down the short field for a Reggie Wayne TD catch, and the extra point seals a 35-34 Colts win.
There’s only so many ways to say “insane.” Belichick didn’t seem confident after the failed 3rd and 2 pass that he was planning to go for it all along. Who throws it when (a) you need two plays for two yards, and (b) you’re trying to kill the clock, even if Tom Brady is your quarterback?
Was Belichick so immersed in his own excellence that he just assumed he could get the two yards? Or was he so convinced that Peyton Manning was going to beat him anyway? Of course, if Belichick gets his two yards, we’re not having this discussion, but that still doesn’t mean it wasn’t the dumbest call ever.
I can appreciate that Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are both great NFL quarterbacks. They and their teams are the Stuffed Chicken Marsala and Tour of Italy of the NFL–perennially delicious and on the brain without so much of a glance at the other fare on the menu. They’re always good. And I understand that, yes, these teams have played each other every year since 2003 and occasionally meet in the playoffs. But does that really make Colts-Patriots a rivalry?
Merriam-Webster defines rival as simply, “one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess.” But doesn’t that apply to all 32 teams in the NFL? You know, besides the Browns? What makes this “rivalry” different. Well, aside from the fact that the Colts and Patriots shared a division until the 2002 season, not a whole hell of a lot.
The teams don’t exactly share similarities–the Patriots are a shrewd, defensive-minded team cast in the image of their maker/videographer Bill Belichick. The Foxboro defense relies on both exuberant team speed and sometimes parts discarded from other clubs. The Colts, conversely, let it all hang out, and are happy to let Pey-Pey lead the offense’s expeditions to the end zone and hope that the defense can keep up. It’s the same blueprint that the Saints have used in their own digs; when a team plays more than half their games in favorable climates, you can do that.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s going to be a badass game. But that’s all it is. There’s no turf war between Boston and Indianapolis, no bolstered competitiveness that can’t be found in any other game involving great teams. But when two of the league’s best get together on national TV, there’s doesn’t have to be.
Orchestrating another offensive explosion onto his opponents’ face, neck, and trendy eyewear? On national television, no less? That’s just another day at the dojo for Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts. After throwing for 279 yards and four touchdowns on the Cardinals’ home field, Pey-pey had sufficiently buried Arizona in Week Three’s Sunday Night game, 31-10.
The Colts only converted on 3 of 11 third down attempts, but it was Manning’s quick-strike ability that allowed the Colts to score from anywhere on the field, including a 53-yard touchdown toss to Pierre Garçon, who’s probably still available in your fantasy league. If Manning had been in Vietnam, not only would we have won, but Dallas Clark would probably have become the white Hồ Chí Minh. Hey, somebody has to oppress those people…
“We were kind of figuring things out as we went along,” he said. “Once we got into a comfort zone, we really executed from there.”
He threw 20 yards to Reggie Wayne(notes) for the first score, 10 yards to Dallas Clark(notes) for the second and a nifty 53 yards to Pierre Garcon(notes) as Indianapolis took a 21-3 halftime lead. Manning added a 3-yard TD toss to Joseph Addai(notes) in the third quarter to make it 28-10. via.
It was the 50th 300-yard passing game in Manning’s career, and I have to think that Peyton might be able to make a living at this “football” thing. Certainly, those 50 or so endorsement deals of his couldn’t hurt, either. Even though he probably has to fill out like 90 W-2s every year. Makes sense that the only one that could keep Manning in check is his accountant. Those greedy little bastards have their hands on everything.
Here’s Peyton Manning in a well-produced-but-not-exactly-crap-your-pants-viral video touring the Wheaties plant where…if I can read the card here…they will be making a newer, scientifically-engineered brand of cereal. Ooh, I hope it has ephedra in it. And maybe some andro. Seriously, that stuff needs to come in a black, vaccum-sealed box with all the steroids they can possibly jam into every single…Hey, wait a second, how come they didn’t let Kevin Garnett in? I guess he hadn’t finished breakfast yet. Hey, Kev! On the stick, yo! And don’t choke on that cereal…wait, he actually won a title. Who am I thinking of? Thanks, Tim
Sponsorship logos might be coming to NFL practice jerseys as owners consider every avenue to increase revenues in These Trying Economic Times. I don’t see anyone lined up outside for bread. How bad can things be?
In addition to receiving a four-year, $4 billion extension from DirecTV and investigating relaxing rules against liquor and lottery sponsorships, the practice jersey sponsor logos were addressed at the three-day owners’ meetings that concluded Wednesday. Further discussion will be held at the league’s May meetings in Fort Lauderdale.[...]
“We’re talking about something unobtrusive that when the guys are being interviewed, people can can see the sponsor logo on their jerseys. But it’s no bigger or more obtrusive than the patches worn for the Super Bowl logo.
I’m sure that small size will please advertisers looking to shell out more money for their NFL partnerships. Nothing appeases corporations more than people asking for their money. Unless they’re dying of leukemia or breast cancer. For some reason, those jagoffs can’t wait to pull out their checkbooks if someone’s missing a boob.
The NFL’s Pro Bowlers are gathered in Hawaii for a week of “practice” before the “big game” this weekend, but all they still have time between all those long practices to sit by the pool and goof off. Check out the prank Peyton Manning pulled off on Jay Cutler as the Pro Bowlers gathered around the hotel pool (emphasis added):
[S]uddenly the Broncos’ quarterback had 300-pound Nick Mangold pushing from one side, 310-pound Kris Dielman holding the other and his cellphone swindled into the hands of a coy Peyton Manning.
Cutler’s radar had gone up, but he never had a chance. Splash! [...] Great fun. Big laughs. There was just one problem. Cutler is a Type 1 diabetic, and in his pocket was his blood-sugar monitor… The monitor was fried by the chlorinated water…
“It was a bad audible on our part,” Manning said. “I think we were thinking right, trying to get the cellphone. Then we realize, the guy gets insulin shots. We missed that.”
Awesome prank. It dovetailed nicely with them stealing Cutler’s candy bars and swapping out his Coke with Diet Coke. Then, before Cutler fell into a coma, he told Manning to go f-ck himself, and Peyton was all, “Thank you, I WILL go f-ck myself.”
