These are the Lakers, right?

Sports

What’s Next For The Los Angeles Lakers? - This article is written from a serious point-of-view, so I’m gonna go ahead and say “Kardashians, break-ups with Kardashians, millions of dollars and nearly zero sense of failure or disappointment.” Yeah, that seems about right. Oh, and Kobe Bryan is going to start calling himself “Copperhead.” [Smoking Section]

Awkward Photo Steals Thunder From Dingus Willing To Pay Thousands To Lunch With PK - Any time somebody can successfully and contextually photoshop someone into Charlie Brown missing a punt, I’m putting their link here. Yep, canceling sports and starting a Peanuts blog. SLIDESHOW! The 86 Best Times Sally Had Hearts Around Her Head! [KSK]

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In Peter King’s NFL column/blog post on Monday, he reported that someone told him that Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams had never lifted weights before. Ever. Such a comment makes anyone look like a slackass, and naturally Williams took the first chance he had to refute that report, saying that he lifted weights as early as seventh grade. From the Dallas Morning News, via FanNation:

Williams, a 6-3, 220-pound physical specimen, said he took lifting seriously throughout his high school career at Odessa Permian. He added that he continued to work hard in the weight room at Texas under the guidance of Jeff “Mad Dog” Madden, one of the country’s most famous strength coaches.[...]

Williams said he stopped lifting weights during the season after dealing with various nicks, pulls and strains his first two years in the NFL.

“The year I didn’t lift during the season, I made it to the Pro Bowl,” he said.

Wow, take that, athletic science! Roy Williams doesn’t need your silly weights. That’s exactly what I tried to tell my high school girlfriend when she complained about my “stamina” in “the fourth quarter.” I told her to “just roll over” and “let me do my thing.” She left. Probably because she just didn’t like sports.

I try not to get too synergistic here at With Leather, which means that I don't like to use my full-time gig to promote Kissing Suzy Kolber, where I contribute in my free time. But some things just need to be shared.

For example, is your football columnist showering a certain player with just a little too much praise? Well, today Monday Morning Punter — one of KSK's experts in NFL homoeroticism — debuted the Peter King Manlove Translator (PKMT), which screens writers' columns for hidden subtext like the one you see pictured.

I strongly recommend this for any readers of King's Monday Morning Quarterback, and I look forward to future editions of the PKMT. Perhaps they can reveal (again) that Gregg Easterbrook loves himself, or that Mitch Albom gets off on aspartame.

Not that I'm judging. I look fucking sexy doused in aspartame.