Abigail Clancy — the fiancee of gangly giraffe-like Tottenham Hotspur striker Peter Crouch — has long been a favorite here at With Leather despite her terrible taste in men. Or maybe because of her terrible taste in men? No, that has nothing to do with it. Much more influential in the favoritism are her hair and eyes and lips and wardrobe selections and — whatchama call those things again? Boobs? Yeah, those are good, too.
Anyway, every time that Abbey shows up somewhere looking attractive, as she did at last night’s Pride of Britain Awards, it’s hard not to take a walk down memory lane with her. Who can forget the time she frolicked in the surf with friends? Or that time she didn’t feel like wearing her bikini top? Or when her sheer dress showed off her leopard-print thong? So many happy memories I have of her. I wonder if she ever got that ear I sent her?
It’s the offseason for both the NFL and the English Premier League (or Barclay’s, whatever they’re calling it these days), but players in the respective leagues approach their vacations very differently. With the exception of the occasional Playboy Bunny party, NFL stars generally stay out of the limelight as they dodge the Eye of Sauron located high atop the commissioner’s office on Mount Doom.
In the Premiership, June and July is island vacation time, and it makes for awesome news, because the players are constantly surrounded by hot women in swimsuits. There was a period last summer where bikini photos of Nereida Gallardo powered the With Leather server.
Anyway, there won’t be any sagas like that this summer, but here’s a quick round-up of soccer stars and WAGs on vacation: (1) Coleen Rooney, who’s six months pregnant with Wayne Rooney’s spawn, is riding around in a jet ski. Grrr, pregnant chicks in bikinis! (2) Chelsea star Frank Lampard is looking at naked chicks in Vegas. And (3) most importantly, Abigail Clancy is wearing a bikini. Oh, and her 6-foot-7 wanker of a boyfriend, Peter Crouch, is with her. God, it’s so depressing when I see her with him. That should be ME, dammit! I just need to figure out a way to make 400 times as much money as I do now. Who wants pictures of my wang? Starting price is $15 million.
Last year, Abbey Clancy — longtime girlfriend of gangly soccer “star” Peter Crouch — was on some abomination of a reality show with Janice Dickinson where the egomaniacal plastic she-devil supposedly taught Miss Clancy all the keys to modeling. Step 1 is look like Abigail Clancy. Step 2 is wear lingerie, like she does in this scene.
So, yeah, for those of you keeping track, this is a year-old video of something that’s barely even sports-related. On the other hand, look at that hot little ass. If that isn’t news, I don’t want to know what news it is. So like I said, I don’t want to know what news is.
[Dirty Tackle via The Spoiler]
Okay, that's it. I've had enough of these fucking soccer players on vacation.
Football star Peter Crouch and girlfriend Abbey Clancy have taken their romance to the high seas while on a romantic getaway in Ibiza. The affectionate couple took turns massaging each other as they soaked up the sun aboard the deck of a sail boat… It's the second luxury break in as many months for the couple.
I don't want to come off as mean-spirited, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that Peter Crouch and his fabulous Ibiza yacht vacation with his lingerie model girlfriend can go get fucked.
[Kickette]
In case you'd forgotten, I'd like to remind you that you're not some horribly awkward-looking British man who looks like a science experiment that mixed the DNA of Prince William, Hugh Grant, and Manute Bol. Because if you were, you'd be pro soccer player Peter Crouch, carrying around a fancy man-purse and dating Abigail Clancey.
"La dee dah, I carry a purse and date lingerie models, I'm so great!" Oh yeah? Well, two can play at this game, Crouch. No one but no one carries around a purse like me! Call me, ladies!
[Kickette]
Sweet merciful Jebus am I glad England missed the cut for Euro 2008. Otherwise Peter Crouch's girlfriend Abbey Clancy wouldn't be naked in the Caribbean (NSFW).
