Move over, Wade Boggs’ Carpet World. Pete Rose and his busty, younger Playboy model wife Kiana Kim have taken the furniture world by storm with their new TV ad for Muenchen’s Furniture in Cincinnati. Sadly, it turns out that Rose’s reality show on TLC, Hits & Mrs., was canceled*, which led to me asking, “Holy sh*t, TLC cancels shows?”

But the silver lining appears to be that companies are still willing to pay a 71-year old blackballed former baseball player and his fame-hungry eventual ex-wife some walking-around money to argue over which set of Paula Deen furniture they want to buy. Seriously, this commercial is why TV was invented.

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And now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together (and sometimes watch them play softball). It’s Sports On TV: the 15 greatest sports moments of Arrested Development.

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While he spends most of his days peddling overpriced autographs on his website and pimping his LockerDome webpage on Twitter, baseball’s all-time hits leader, Pete Rose, is still trying desperately to cling to relevance ever since he seemingly gave up his quest to be admitted into Major League Baseball’s Hall of Fame. Back in July, word surfaced that Rose’s plan to recapture his glory included a reality television show about him and his significantly younger Playboy model fiancée, Kiana Kim, and their road to marriage.

Of course TLC, the network that has brought us such educational classics as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Abby and Brittany, My Strange Addiction, Breaking Amish, Toddlers & Tiaras and, obviously, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, picked the show up, because it had just enough train wreck flair to warrant a six-episode run. And now, there’s no turning back, because Pete Rose: Hits & Mrs. has a debut date.

Chronicling preparations for Rose and his fiancee, ex-Playboy model Kiana Kim, as they blend their families and prepare for wedded life, the six-part docu-series will launch on the cable network Monday, Jan. 14, at 10 p.m.

According to the official synopsis, the 71-year-old Rose — who has been banned from professional baseball due to his gambling — and Kim will face “challenges other families face.” The upcoming nuptials mark Rose’s third trip down the aisle, while Kim has two children from a previous relationship. (Via The Hollywood Reporter)

Challenges other families face? I suppose that means the trials and tribulations of a couple 40 years apart, as women who can only find love with men north of 70 who have always looked like pillow cases stuffed with rocks need a couple to look up to. Perhaps if Cooperstown never comes calling, there will be a place in the reality TV Hall of Fame for Rose. Somewhere between the woman who eats couch cushions and that guy who punched Snooki.

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Earlier this year, there was a considerable deal of buzz around New York Jets backup QB Tim Tebow inking an endorsement deal with the underwear company Jockey, because the world’s most famous virgin doesn’t exactly sound like the perfect candidate for rocking his bulge. But then the ads started flopping out of the fold – like the one above – and we realized that these were newer, more conservative Jockey ads and Tebow wouldn’t be packing heat in print. This naturally made women very angry.

But dried up lady parts aside, Tebow’s endorsement of Jockey is just another chapter in the company’s long, storied history of relationships with professional athletes. And you can even say that it’s a footnote in the grander marriage between what I am told are attractive male athletes and underwear companies in general. For instance, David Beckham has his deal with H&M and Cristiano Ronaldo captures your eyes with his beef pocket for Armani. The point is that athletes have long loved rocking their ding dongs to sell man panties.

And Jockey has done it better than anyone. Well, I guess “better” isn’t the best word. Jockey has done it more than anyone – that’s more accurate. Because the picture that slapped my eyes and teabagged my brain this morning does not qualify as “better”.

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With the widespread use of social media and, more specifically the popularity of a jackass like Jose Canseco, I’m surprised that we don’t hear more from or about Pete Rose. Hell, I’m surprised that what may or may not be his Twitter account only has 4,000+ followers. But I guess that just means that the 71-year old all-time MLB hits leader has settled into the reality that most people just don’t give a crap about him anymore.

Apparently TLC missed that memo. The network once known as The Learning Channel has famously brought us shows like Toddlers and Tiaras, Jon and Kate Plus 8, 19 Kids and Counting, Sister Wives, and Extreme Couponing. Now, the network is adding a Pete Rose reality show to its stable. Is it about a legendary athlete now in his twilight years, ready to do whatever it takes to prove to the fans who once worshipped him that he was wrong for gambling and lying, and beg the forgiveness of the sport that made him a star so that he might one day enter Cooperstown before he takes his final breath?

No. It’s about him and his Playboy model girlfriend. Good for you, Charlie Hustle.

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It looks like Alex Rodriguez is going to be in a lot of trouble. Well, a little trouble. Okay, no trouble whatsoever.

Via ESPN, who can get their own hyperlinks:

Major League Baseball is taking “very seriously” the allegations that Alex Rodriguez took part in some illegal, underground poker games, one of which reportedly turned violent, and he could face suspension if his participation in the games is confirmed.

“We take this very seriously and have been investigating this matter since the initial allegation,” MLB said in a statement. “As part of the investigation, the commissioner’s office will interview Mr. Rodriguez.”

Of course, no investigation would be necessary if Major League Baseball would just moderate their own chatrooms. Today The Dugout has an exclusive look at Alex Rodriguez’s sexy dangerous parties in the seedy underbelly of high-stakes poker. Man, I’m going to get him in so much trouble. I feel like Sports By Brooks!

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