Tennis Pro Pierre Ludovic Duclos Loses To Chris Hansen In Straight Sets

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.22.13

Pierre Ludovic Duclos Lasnier is currently the No. 334 ranked men’s tennis player in the world, and it doesn’t take a huge tennis fanatic to know that’s awful. With an ATP career singles record of 1-3, the highest ranking that the 27-year old Duclos has ever achieved is No. 229, and that was about one year ago. But despite that awful mediocre ranking and record, Duclos is still considered the best men’s tennis player in all of Quebec and the sixth best tennis player in all of Canada. So he has that going for him.

And now he’s probably going to be the best tennis player in all of the Florida penal system, because Duclos was just arrested for soliciting sex from a 13-year old girl in Sarasota. Someone better start learning how to sharpen the handle of a tennis racquet.

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Sorry, HS Baseball Players, This Is What Your Internet Girlfriend Really Looks Like

Written by Brandon Stroud / 02.13.13

high school baseball coach Catfish

An elaborate scheme to teach high school baseball players the value of not sending nude pictures to strangers, or a horrible man’s attempt to see kid dicks? YOU decide!

Actually, sorry, you don’t have to decide. The horrible dicks one.

Irvine police have arrested a high school baseball coach suspected of posing as a female on Facebook and convincing underage boys to send him sexual pictures of themselves.

Zachary Reeder, 30, of Orange set up a fake profile using a photo of a blonde female, police said, and used the social networking site to form relationships with his victims.

Reeder was arrested Saturday on suspicion of lewd conduct with a child, possession and distribution of child pornography, and child annoyance. (via Daily Pilot)

The worst part about the Manti Te’o story making “Catfishing” a household word is that a bunch of the less-clever perverts found out and went, “wow, I’m gonna try that!” So now women are being lured into jewel heists or whatever and local reporters are getting Catfished on Facebook for money. I wish we could go back in time to 2009, when the only way we had to address people with imaginary internet relationships was “stop being stupid.”

A video report of the story is after the jump. Enjoy*.

*”Enjoy” is probably not the right word.

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Mel Gibson Caught A UCLA Basketball Game, Might Have Glanced At A Cheerleader

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.12.12

The UCLA Bruins opened their brand new Pauley Pavilion with an 86-59 win over Indiana State Saturday night, which means that NCAA Men’s Basketball is underway and people can begin pretending like anything matters before March. But the actual reason that I’m bringing this up is that once-celebrated star of awesome movies like Braveheart, Lethal Weapon 1-3 (4 never happened) and the wildly underrated Payback, Mel Gibson, was in attendance with his son, because what the hell else is a guy who destroyed his career gonna do on a Saturday night?

Of course, because he’s been branded as a psychopathic, woman-beating, anti-Semitic, racist in recent years, people don’t necessarily like Gibson that much. That’s why it shouldn’t surprise anyone that his reception by Bruins fans was less than warm.

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Weird Pervert Fight Breaks Out In Crowd At Lingerie Football League Game

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.11.12

A fight broke out in the crowd at a Lingerie Football League game. “Guy in a Rob Gronkowski jersey” vs. “guy with an unbuttoned shirt and gold necklace”. Who ya got? (via LFL on YouTube)

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Lingerie Football League FightThe 8 Most Important Hard Rock Music Video Babes From The 1980s |UPROXX|

And The First Canceled Show Of The Season Is… |Warming Glow|

Of course this exists: Sexy Bert and Ernie Costumes |Film Drunk|

Take Out A Third Mortgage, Here Are This Season’s NBA Championship Odds |With Leather|

Ten Characters We’d Like To See In ‘Injustice: Gods Among Us’ |Gamma Squad|

Three Reasons Why Ohio University Football Should Not Be Ranked |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL 2012: Week 5 |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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The Real Winner Of The 2012 Summer Olympics? Fans Of Camel Toe

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.14.12

You know, I’m a little disappointed in myself, because I told myself last week, “Burnsy, you’re special, you’re a winner, don’t listen to those mean commenters, and… remember to Google search for ’2012 Olympics camel toe’.” And I totally forgot. Not that I wanted to spend an entire week in a dark room, scouring the Internet for pictures of female athletes with really tight uniforms, but if it’s for the sake of our glorious legions of With Leatherians, then I’m going to do my best.

Unfortunately, today’s top camel toe story (stoery?) comes from writer and licensed insurance agent Mike Stafford at Literary Dysfunction. Last week, Mike wrote a piece about his thoughts on the 2012 Summer Olympics, which included some shots at our favorite meme-source McKayla Maroney, and he slapped a fun title on it – “And the gold medal for best camel-toe goes to…”

Just one problem, though… Ain’t no camel toe involved, and that might be a little misleading to the Internet’s finest pervs. Mike wrote a follow-up about his surprise when he pulled up his inbound traffic search results and found out how new readers were finding his website.

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Alex Morgan Is The Olympic Hero/Internet Girlfriend That America Deserves

Written by Ashley Burns / 07.26.12

There’s a great deal of added pressure on the U.S. women’s soccer team in this 2012 Summer Olympics, what with the men’s team apparently being contracted or something. Fortunately, stars like Abby Wambach and Hope Solo are up to the challenge, what with their whole being really talented thing going on.

However, yesterday, after a disheartening start in which the red hot French team, winners of 17 straight, got out to a quick 2-0 lead, the U.S. women showed why they’re best players for the best country in the world (f*ck you, Botswana) as they fired back to win the game 4-2. Multiple women player their parts in making this victory happen, but the game’s true star was our favorite, Alex Morgan, who was responsible for two of Team USA’s scores.

Said U.S. captain Christie Rampone, “They’re really stepping up and they’re really taking pride in wearing the USA jersey and showing American pride, more the mentality — kind of old school with a young flair. They’re doing a great job.”

Rampone says the combination of Wambach and Morgan puts this team in an elite class. She says, of Morgan, “She has embraced the fact that she’s now in the starting lineup and she plays well with Abby Wambach up top.” (Via the USA Today)

Unfortunately, not many conversations can take place regarding Morgan without mentioning her looks, because we’re a culture of perverts these days. Thankfully, we consider ourselves gentlemen at this fine website – despite what the HuffPo, Yahoo! and eventually Daily Mail when it finds a writer to copy another person’s opinion think – so I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to finally end the objectification of Morgan as the Internet’s “girlfriend” so we can simply appreciate her as a world class soccer player.

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