Yesterday, celebrity gossip morons across the Internet “reported” that golfer and orgy enthusiast Tiger Woods was selling his massive yacht, “Privacy”, for $25 million. Tiger’s smoking hot ex-wife, Elin Nordegren didn’t want to keep the yacht as part of her ridiculous divorce settlement because Privacy costs more than $2 million a year to maintain, with a permanent staff of 13 people having to constantly stain guard and Febreze. I’m guessing she also didn’t want the constant reminder of all of the Shoney’s hostesses and meth-addled porn actresses, of whose poopdecks Tiger swabbed on the Privacy. Also, Tiger doesn’t need to keep the 155-foot yacht because he just bought a new one. Man, I hope he overcomes all of these problems someday.