With Chris Paul now semi-happily shipped out to Los Angeles, the pressure is on for the Lakers to make a big splash and keep up with their fundamentally disabled little brother, the Clippers, who just received the equivalent of a miraculous stem cell therapy. Of course that means that everyone – my Orlando Magic-loving ass included – believes that the Lakers will regress on their stance that they will not give up both Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol in a trade for Dwight Howard. And of course that stance was just a negotiating tactic in the first place, but now we know that it’s 100% BS.
Meanwhile, Magic GM Otis Smith announced yesterday that he is no longer taking trade offers for Howard while the league’s 29 other GMs all dismissively wanked. Smith’s announcement is also believed to be a negotiating tactic as if he and Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak are mouthing, “You wanna f*ck” at each other from across a night club, waiting for the other to finally drop his pants and take it.
Lost in the mix are poor, little Magic fans, who simply don’t want to see their superstar leave. Take this young Magic fan for instance, as he gives us his best “David after the dentist” impression while he discusses his desire for Howard to stay. I imagine it’s pretty much like Bob Vander Weide’s phone call.