Usually I let Burnsy handle the Penn State sex scandal stories. He’s got a more eloquent way of saying f**k you and die forever than I do, and I mostly just get indignant about stuff that barely matters. I might not be able to write much about this, either, but I wanted to share it with you.

These are the phone messages Sandusky left for Victim 2, aka the one from the showers Mike McQueary saw and didn’t do anything about. In the first, left last September, he says that there’s “nothing to hide, really” and that feelings should be “firm” and expressed upfront. In the second, he tosses out invites to a Penn State game. Both feature Sandusky saying “I love you”.

The closest thing I can come up with for a joke here is that “I love you” and “do you want to go to a football game” were my two worst pick-up lines in high school. I’m not the type to wish an actual death on anyone. I’ll wish hyperbolic death on you all day, but I’m not gonna find any joy if Sandusky gets murdered in prison. If that happens, I’m going to feel the same way I do now — that the human brain can be the best or most f**ked up thing in the world, and that this man was impossibly sad in addition to being destructive and awful. People will still argue the value of college football record-keeping against human decency, and all we’ll really be left with is audio clips like these of a man saying “I love you” to people he raped.

I don’t know where to go with this, except far, far away.

[h/t to Bob's Blitz]

In the past, regarding the Jerry Sandusky scandal and Penn State, we have tried to be as mature and considerate as we possibly could be, because we are not sports preachers, at least not most of the time. We do not profess to be journalists, nor are we out to provide big scoops and breaking news. We’re just a couple of guys who like to present prominent sports stories and Kate Upton news with a touch of humor.

There is nothing funny about what Jerry Sandusky did, and with that there is nothing funny about the Freeh Report’s findings, released this morning. Sure, there were jokes to be made about the name Freeh Report, but we don’t have any jokes about what Sandusky is currently rotting in prison for. I don’t have much of a response to what the findings revealed about Joe Paterno, because it reaches far beyond “disappointing”. I also can’t bring myself to read the entire Freeh Report, because I’m a natural pessimist. I think this world is spiraling into chaos and I’d love to spend my last 150-160 years on this planet on an island. God knows what reading the entire report would do to my brain.

But you can read it if you’d like. All 250+ pages are available right here. If you’re a Penn State student, student-athlete, alumni, fan, and/or employee, you’re not going to like any of it. Nobody is going to like any of it. There will be outrage. There are already people calling for the NCAA to drop the death penalty hammer, Penn State to destroy Joe Paterno’s statue, and probably much worse.

Again, we have nothing funny to say about any of it.

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When asked by investigators if former Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary had reported witnessing Jerry Sandusky raping a young child in team facilities, former Penn State University athletic director Tim Curley said no. However, former Penn State coach Joe Paterno admitted that he had a discussion with McQueary about what he saw, so Curley and former PSU vice president Gary Schultz, who also replied, “Huh? Wha? No way, dude,” were charged with perjury and failure to report a crime.

Now the attorney for Schultz is asking for those charges to be dismissed, since Paterno has since passed and he never gave his actual sworn testimony. I’d like to act shocked and appalled, but I assume this is just the tip of the convenience iceberg.

Paterno’s recollection and testimony about a conversation with former assistant coach Mike McQueary would have been the corroboration required by law for prosecutors to prove that the 57-year-old Curley lied to the grand jury when he said McQueary did not tell him that he had witnessed anything about Sandusky that needed to be reported to police, Roberto argued. (Via The Patriot News)

The prosecutors were going to ask Paterno for his testimony back in November, but they were told that he was too sick. So they waited, waited waited… and now they’re left with an unofficial testimony that is never going to stand up and McQueary’s word, and Pennsylvania law doesn’t allow perjury charges to be determined by just one man’s word against another.

Obviously, this news just further proves that Paterno’s legacy will continued to be defined by what he might have known, while the people implicated in the entire Sandusky ordeal use JoePa’s passing as their bullet-proof vest.

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On Saturday night, while most of the cool kids were out smoking cigarettes in the Taco Bell parking lot, news broke that Penn State coach Joe Paterno had passed away due to complications from lung cancer. Specifically, the first report was published by Onward State, a student newspaper at PSU. The paper claimed that Nittany Lions players received emails informing them that Paterno had passed away, and thus the news was born.

But since nobody outside of Happy Valley is really familiar with Onward State, the news didn’t really get out until CBS Sports picked up the story and ran with it. That’s when all Twitter hell broke loose. You see, as it turned out, Paterno wasn’t dead on Saturday night. As we know, he passed away on Sunday morning. But almost immediately after the CBS story hit and then other major media outlets began picking it up, Paterno’s family came forward and said that JoePa wasn’t dead.

Whoops.

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I hate writing obituaries and memoriam posts. Unless you truly know a person, they’re just usually so forced and awkward. Although, with sports it’s a little different, because we are inspired by athletes and coaches on a regular basis, so we feel like we know these people. That’s what makes this whole Joe Paterno thing incredibly strange.

I used to wonder why Paterno was such a big deal. He only won two national championships and the last one was in 1986. I viewed him the same way that I did Bobby Knight – “What have you done for me lately?” But I always lacked one thing that would have given me actual perception – a favorite college football team. Growing up, I had no allegiance to any college football teams, so I never actually understood how incredible it is for one guy to stay with the same team for a career. And now, as a fan of the UCF Knights, I openly beg for George O’Leary to be fired.

That’s why this quote that I came across in reading the media’s reaction to JoePa’s death stuck out a little.

“Why leave?” Paterno explained in a 1995 interview with the Tampa Tribune. “It’s got everything I want: small town, a college town. I can walk home after games. I’ve been accepted as a faculty member, not treated as a dumb jock. I can do things that suit me intellectually; I’m a little bit of an egghead.”

I admire that. As we’ve seen far too often, players and coaches want bright lights and big cities. JoePa was apparently happy with the small town. It’s refreshing, to say the least. That’s why I can understand the incredible outpouring of emotions and respect the students and alumni have been showing for JoePa since news of his death broke yesterday. They see the 46 years of head coaching and the man who charged onto the field for 409 victories.

However, that’s mostly limited to his friends, fans and former players, because the rest of us see him for who he became over the last three months of his life. I don’t quite know how I feel about Paterno anymore. I used to not care who he was. He was a coach, cool. Then I thought he was great because he stuck around and he was this cool old dude who crapped himself during a game.

But now I just want answers. I think we all want answers, because none of us wants our heroes to be exposed as anything but perfect. That’s why I understand the love for JoePa. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it. And we’ll probably never get those answers now that he’s gone. Most of us won’t settle for “I never heard of that” as an excuse for turning a blind eye to his friend and defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky allegedly raping children in Penn State facilities. Aware or not, that’s the man’s legacy. Trust me, I don’t want it to be his legacy, but I don’t think anything will ever happen to change it now that he’s gone.

And it’s a shame, because he’s still a hero to so many people, who will spend the rest of their lives defending him, despite still wanting the questions answered. After the jump, I have some reactions from the media and JoePa’s friends, as well as pictures from the Penn State student body’s tribute.

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It’s still not fun to make light of the Penn State abuse scandal (especially in the wake of ESPN’s horrifying HANDS OFF cover), and TMZ’s latest updates on what’s being said during Mike McQueary’s preliminary hearing testimony won’t make it any easier.

McQueary says he peeked into the shower and personally saw Jerry and the boy naked in the shower together — with Jerry grabbing the boy’s waist from behind, while the boy was facing the wall.

McQueary says he peeked in the shower several times — and by the last time, they had separated. But McQueary told the court, “I know they saw me. They looked directly in my eye, both of them.”

The next thing he said was, “Seeing that they were separated, I thought it was best that I leave the locker room”, meaning the first and most logical follow-up question should’ve been, “at no point did you consider saying HEY GUYS WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE and pending the boy pointing out a 60-year old’s hands on his waist, possibly punching an old child molester in the face?”

The second follow-up question should’ve been, “so are you just quoting The Simpsons, or what”.

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

TMZ is doing opportunistic SHOCKING CAPS updates about this all day, so if you’re interested in following along, you can check that out. Personally, I’m not interested in finding out what Jerry Sandusky’s cat’s breath smells like.