Lana. LANA!

Sports On TV is in the Danger Zone.

Our look at the best sports moments from shows that aren’t necessarily about sports takes on FX’s ‘Archer’ this week, and if there’s a show the kids at UPROXX love more than ‘Archer,’ I’d like to see it. Inside, you’ll find one of the most clever, obscure, expertly-written shows on television. You’ll also find lacrosse jokes about rock bands from the 1990s, a guy trying to play baseball in space, Ultimate Bum Shock Fights (which are exactly what they sound like), Siamese fighting fish, and more.

So please click through and-or enjoy Sports On TV: ‘Archer’s’ 15 greatest sports moments.

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Get some, Pele.

Last we checked in on international pop superstar Shakira, she was dumping her no-good soccer star boyfriend, Gerard Piqué, because he allegedly couldn’t stop putting his balls in other girls’ nets. But it turns out that Shakira’s not only ridiculously talented and attractive, but she’s quite forgiving, too. At least that’s what I’m taking away from the fact that she attended last night’s FIFA Soccer Awards at the Kongresshaus in Zurich with Piqué. Oh, and she also hosted the ceremony, so that may explain why she was there, too.

Regardless, Shakira was on hand to present Argentina’s Lionel Messi with his third Ballon d’Or football award, and Japan’s Homare Sawa with the Player of the Year award, as her team shocked the world by winning the Women’s World Cup. I would have given the award to Alex Morgan, in case she’s reading this and wants me to brush her hair later tonight.

Other soccer players like Wayne Rooney also won awards, but I’m just going to pretend that the entire event looked like this…

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