As longtime readers may know, we are contractually obligated to share anything Paulina Gretzky does. When she went to the Masters, we wrote about it. When she held the Stanley Cup, we wrote about it. Her Complex shoot? Done. We’re even obligated to write about her when she isn’t doing ANYTHING.

That said, we hope you had a happy Memorial Day weekend, but we say that assuming yours wasn’t as happy as Paulina Gretzky’s, spent on a boat taking photos for her WhoSay page. We also assume it wasn’t as happy as the weekend spent by the two gentlemen in the photos, because their weekend involved “hanging out with Paulina Gretzky on a boat.”

In the interest of you having a happy Day After Memorial Day, here are a couple of photos from the voyage.

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I may or may not have a Google news alert set for “Paulina Gretzky wearing tank tops in public”, but it worked in my favor today because Wayne Gretzky’s pride and joy is currently running around Augusta National supporting her boyfriend Dustin Johnson. I have no clue where he currently stands, but if I were him I’d never be standing again.

Hit it.

Anywho, that was my strange, unrelated way of talking about the new Tumblr account that will be almost as hot as Paulina this weekend, “Waldo at the Masters”, which is photoshopped pictures of America’s favorite Hide N Seek champ hanging out in the gallery at Augusta National. There’s not much else to it, and there doesn’t have to be. I love Waldo and I love the Masters tournament, so unless someone finds a way to incorporate Taco Bell’s Volcano Tacos, I’m pretty confident that this is going to be my favorite thing of this weekend.

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Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Kate Upton.

It is not an easy task to put together a list, such as the Greatest Sports Moments of 2012, specifically because so many things happen in any given year that it’s all but impossible to universally gauge which one event or person is greater than another. But since we’re just a couple dudes who like to make fun of stuff and almost always ignore actual sports news, it’s really quite easy.

With that said, here’s a quick breakdown of how our team of fact checkers and sports analyst number crunchers determine which people, places and things were the most important and influential in 2012…

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Wayne Gretzky’s daughter Paulina has become popular on the Internet for taking off her clothes and Instagramming it, and a couple of months ago when even her Stanley Cup mark photo had a yellow piss filter over it I asked:

Has there ever been an un-instagram-filtered picture taken of Paulina Gretzky? Not complaining, I’m just wondering.

The folks at Complex magazine wondered the same thing, so they brought in the “aspiring singer” for an interview where they briefly asked her about sports and Canada before putting cherries in her mouth and taking as many pictures as possible. The shoot is obviously “hot”, but something’s missing. I don’t know. Something about Paulina stepping out of her grainy, washed-out box and filling in for cheesecake fashion photoshoots Brooklyn Decker would destroy is sad.

So here’s Paulina Gretzky’s Complex photoshoot in both “normal” and “photoshopped to make it look like she took a picture in 1972 and left it in a shoebox for 40 years” varieties. Next time you shoot this girl, fashion world, use an iPhone.

Update: As an added bonus, stick around until the end for like 10 pictures of her actually Instagramming herself on the set of Grown-Ups 2 because f**king OF COURSE she’s in Grown-Ups 2. Thanks to BroBible for those.

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It’s always fun to watch a sports franchise end decades of irrelevance with a slightly improbable title run, so for no reason other than they’d never won one, it was nice to see the Los Angeles Kings win the Stanley Cup. The problem, though, with any L.A. team winning a title is that, oh sweet merciless lord, the celebrity bandwagon tips over within minutes. Hell, I’m surprised Kourtney Kardashian’s new kid didn’t pop out wearing a Jonathan Quick jersey.

But then there are the celebrities who actually have a vested interest in the Kings’ success, like our beloved Chosen Daughter, Paulina Gretzky. Sure, even if her pops hadn’t ever played for the Kings, I wouldn’t give a crap if she was posting pictures of her snorting coke out of Lord Stanley’s bowl, because I give special people free passes. Either way, Paulina got to party with the Cup this week with a bunch of dude bros, who could be players but I don’t care.

The Stanley Cup has never looked better.

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So I know that Kate Upton is old and busted and that Paulina Gretzky is the new hotness, but until Paulina trades in the PicsPlz for Skullcandy’s HD video cameras and starts hanging out with Kevin Durant instead of local stoners in Captain America hoodies we’re gonna keep waving the Kate Upton flag. Especially when it involves her on a bouncy ball.

In today’s news:

Forget take your kid to work day — today is Take a Supermodel to Work Day. Watch what happens when Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model and member of Skullcandy Supermodel Crew, Kate Upton, goes to work with NBA superstars, and members of the Skullcandy NBA Crew, Kevin Durant and James Harden of the Oklahoma City Thunder.

And at one point Kate swings her elbows around and “accidentally” crushes James Harden’s headphones. Check out the video below.

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