The Major League Baseball All-Star Game happens tonight, and if you’re the type who needs an animal with mystical powers to tell you what will happen, this octopus at Sea Life in Arizona says it’s going to be the American League. It’s good to know that when one psychic octopus dies, another can rise up and take his place. Last year I won $500 on the World Cup by strangling the sh:t out of a carp.

The game was predicted by placing equal amounts of food in boxes labeled “American League” and “National League”, then allowing the octopus to choose which food (and by proxy, which team of adult humans) it preferred. The best part of the video is the Octomom bystander comments, which boil down to “it was so awesome seeing the octopus do things”. I wonder if this is how Arizona chose their immigration laws, by dunking a white guy and a brown guy into an aquarium and seeing which one gets molested first by a squid.

Regardless, this method is at least as fool-proof as the ESPN writer method, which is just reading what most people think and saying the opposite to try and piss them off.

[h/t Eye on Baseball]

Global superstar Paul the Octopus, who has probably surpassed Sir Paul McCartney, the guy from the Bible, Paul Wall and Paula Abdul as the coolest creature named Paul in the universe, has been a picking fiend in this year’s World Cup soccer tournament. Unfortunately for him, every time he chooses correctly against a team he picks up a legion of haters who are hungry for a plate of his tentacles. For example, Psychic Paul was beloved by his home country Germany up until he picked them to lose to Spain. They did. Now they want to eat him.

Not an ordinarily superstitious people, Germans became believers in Paul’s possible psychic powers. The country was shocked and distraught when he picked Spain to win after tipping German wins over Argentina, England, Ghana and Australia.

German newspapers and websites were filled with suggestions of what to do with Paul — most involved cooking and eating him.

“Throw him in the frying pan,” wrote the Berliner Kurier newspaper in a popular sentiment echoed by Die Welt, Sueddeutsche Zeitung, the Hamburger Abendblatt and other newspapers.

“Nothing beats grilled octopus,” said Dolores Lusch, a Germany fan who works on a Berlin fish stall. “Cut him up in thin slices and grill him on all sides with a dash of lemon juice, olive oil and garlic on it. Delicious!” -Yahoo!

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