"I can't hear you, little boy LA LA LA LA LA LA!"

This year’s NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest has very few people excited. With a lineup of Derrick Williams, Paul George, Chase Budinger and Iman Shumpert, who will provide the most excitement based solely on his lob partner and New York Knicks teammate, Jeremy Lin, this contest will rely heavily on creativity and very little on star power.

*dead cat crashes through window with a note attached*

According to our With Leather day-old news service, Shumpert has backed out of the dunk contest and will be replaced by Utah Jazz forward Jeremy Evans, which means that our Linebriation will only come from the Rising Stars challenge on Friday. So that leaves many people asking the NBA and its bevvy of stars: What the F, dudes?

Where the hell is the glory and ego of yesteryear, when the stars would line up to throw down a few dandy dunkaroos while their crews hopped around like morons? I mean, Dwight Howard should have been contractually obligated to win his title back from Blake Griffin this year, but neither of them want to get their hands dirty.

Thankfully, there’s a voice of reason out there that points the finger at one of the NBA’s biggest dunk contest no-shows of the last 8 years: LeBron James. And that voice of reason is a young kid who puts every NBA superstar diva in his place.

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Chances are if you even squinted at a Twitter feed yesterday, you saw a million or so people bitching about this year’s NBA All-Star Game slam dunk contest lineup, and they were all justified in doing so. Not only will the contest not feature the defending champion, Blake Griffin, but last year’s actual champion runner-up, JaVale McGee is also sitting this one out. Not because he didn’t want to, mind you, but because he wasn’t invited.

So who got the call? Chase Budinger, Paul George, Iman Shumpert and Derrick Williams, or as I like to call them: Who, What, Why and How? No real disrespect intended to those guys, but as the Washington Post pointed out after the league’s announcement yesterday, they’ve combined for 55 dunks on the season. Griffin and McGee, the league’s Top 2 dunkers, have nearly 3 times that amount between the two of them. In fact, the four guys selected aren’t even among the Top 40 dunkers in the entire NBA.

To make matters even worse, the contest has now been cut down to just one round and there will no longer be celebrity judges. Instead, the fans are in charge of the voting responsibility, which is bad news for Budinger, George and Williams, because none of them have the luxury of being Jeremy Lin’s teammate like Shumpert, who will be fed lobs by the New York Knicks’ new star. It’s not even fair, but even worse – it’s not even fun.

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