Here’s your weekly dose of cafeteria parkour with a couple of little dudes hitting flips off a wall. Only the wall…well, I’d hate to ruin the ending for you. I could totally run off the wall and do a double flip. I just choose not to. I’m too busy sitting on the couch snacking and trying to make sense of ESPN’s “First Take.” Watching Jemele Hill defend Plaxico Burress was like watching Brett Favre make a decision. Thanks, Gimp vid.
This doesn’t really count as parkour as much as it’s two pubescents daring each other to jump onto a dumpster, and I’m really not sure what’s gone wrong with the second attempt. Although you’d think the kid would have just taken the hint to stay in the trash. Where he belongs OH MAN THAT’S SUCH A BURN! I GOT YOU GOOD, KID! Eh, it’s that kind of day. Oh, wait, I think I see something shiny…
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We make it a priority to give living athletes priority over dead ones, but this particular free runner figures he might split the difference with a little parkour of his own. Hey, kid! Watch out for the–the…box? That green metal box just hanging on the wall there? Is that a French head magnet? Because it’s working awesomely. On the Frenchies, anyway.
Some shoe company–which I won’t name because I have an endorsement deal with adidas–sent this parkour video to Brian at Awful Announcing, who sent it to us. Ufford likes calling it parkour, but doesn’t that sound more like a meth addict that would give you a hand job underneath a swingset? Like making me show ID to buy a bottle of Robitussin is ever gonna stop that from happening. But another thing, what the hell is a robot gonna run from? Wouldn’t he just be all, “Hey, I’m a robot. I am rather well-equipped to deal with adversity. Instead of running, perhaps I could turn and confront whatever issues are ailing me.” I guess that’s why so many robots are in therapy these days. And I don’t really have an endorsement deal from adidas, unless you count this cease-and-desist letter.
KottKe (via Unsilent) dug up this parkour gem–it’s the professional reel of Levi Meeuwenberg, and he gets paid to do everything you’re seeing in this video. Of course, if I was going to hang that close to Madonna, I’d require a little compensation, too. I personally walk around walls instead of up them. Sure, it’s more time-consuming, but the ladies always appreciate a man of safety. That’s what Mom always tells me.
Parkour, or “free running,” is one of Ufford’s favorite things. For those unfamiliar, it’s part athleticism, part pretending to be Spider-Man. It’s one of the few “action” activities that looks equally impressive with or without a catastrophic fall. It’s fun to watch, and here’s another helping of it, from Russia with general indifference. Thanks to sexy comrade-in-arms Vince over at FilmDrunk for sending it our way. This might be my new favorite parkour clip.
See? Any explanation would have just ruined that.
