I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until I was 12. A few weeks later I hit the curb wrong, flipped over my handlebars and landed in a ditch full of rocks. ‘Andrew Dickey – Black Bike Vol. 1′ is the exact opposite of that.

Parkour is cool, but only when you’re a fleeing thief being chased by a karate action star or someone buff enough to shoulderblock through freestanding walls. Bicycle parkour, courtesy of our friends at Buzzfeed, amps that coolness up significantly by having someone do parkour with a wonky metal frame pressed against their crotch. Somehow it’s not just a bunch of clips of people falling and hurting themselves, and is instead one of the most impressive four minutes of non-Japanese game show bike athleticism and dexterity ever captured on film. I mean, unless you know somebody else who can climb a building on a bike. I can’t even navigate the rock ditch without almost killing myself.

My only disappointment is that when he biked up onto the Storage King delivery truck (pictured), a little fat guy with a crown and a staff didn’t rush out from the building and chase him away.

[h/t and total agreement in headline to Matt Ufford]

Or, “more like PARK-our, am I right?”

British long jump champion J.J. Jegede, who I think we all agree could use a few more Js in his name, jumped over three MINIs this week as part of a promotional event for a new, 2012 limited edition of the vehicle, and to promote his own Olympic dreams. Jegede is looking to make his first Olympics, and according to Chris Chase at Fourth-Place Medal, the roughly six-meter jump would have earned him 8th place at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. If he’d dunked at the end of it he would’ve won Rookie of the Year.

Of course, he didn’t really jump over them, he just jumped the length of them side-by-side. If he’d actually jumped over three MINIs he wouldn’t be headed to the Olympics, he’d be outfitted with a patriotic suit and sent somewhere to fight Nazis.

I think we all remember the hardon that Ufford had for “free running,” and so we post this flipbook of an artistic interpretation of parkour with that in mind. I’m not terribly impressed with the end product, but I appreciate the work that went into drawing all of those little people a bunch of times. And it does seem to have that same sort of urban grittiness that you’d expect in a parkour video. I should get Uff a towel ready, just in case. –TechEBlog.

Here’s your weekly dose of cafeteria parkour with a couple of little dudes hitting flips off a wall. Only the wall…well, I’d hate to ruin the ending for you. I could totally run off the wall and do a double flip. I just choose not to. I’m too busy sitting on the couch snacking and trying to make sense of ESPN’s “First Take.” Watching Jemele Hill defend Plaxico Burress was like watching Brett Favre make a decision. Thanks, Gimp vid.

This doesn’t really count as parkour as much as it’s two pubescents daring each other to jump onto a dumpster, and I’m really not sure what’s gone wrong with the second attempt. Although you’d think the kid would have just taken the hint to stay in the trash. Where he belongs OH MAN THAT’S SUCH A BURN! I GOT YOU GOOD, KID! Eh, it’s that kind of day. Oh, wait, I think I see something shiny…

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We make it a priority to give living athletes priority over dead ones, but this particular free runner figures he might split the difference with a little parkour of his own. Hey, kid! Watch out for the–the…box? That green metal box just hanging on the wall there? Is that a French head magnet? Because it’s working awesomely. On the Frenchies, anyway.