Sports On TV: Community’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments

Written by Brandon Stroud / 02.07.13


Greendale Community College Calendar

Happy October 19th! Season 4 of NBC’s woefully-undersupported-by-anyone-without-a-Tumblr ‘Community’ begins tonight!

To celebrate, this week’s Sports On TV column looks back at the 20 greatest sports moments from the show’s first three seasons. It’s a confusing mass of spaceships and ‘Glee’ slams and paintball epics, and it’s absolutely worth revisiting and celebrating.

Here’s the best way to enjoy tonight’s premiere: read this column. Click the like button. Share it on Reddit or Facebook or Tumblr (especially Tumblr). Drop a comment in the comments section about your favorite episodes, moments, quotes and character pairings. Come up with a fun name for them (suggestion: StarPelt). Flip through the 20 greatest sports moments dozens of times over the next few hours. Then, totally forget that ‘Community’ actually comes on television and decide to watch it on Hulu tomorrow morning. Because guess what? That’s the only way ‘Community’ has ever worked.

Please enjoy ‘Community’s’ 20 Greatest, Streets Ahead Sports Moments.

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Morning Links: I Really Don’t Care How Fat Gina Carano Has Gotten

Written by Brandon Stroud / 06.08.11

I can’t claim to know a lot about women’s mixed martial arts (except that as a sport, it is arguably creepier to enjoy than joshi), but Gina Carano always seems caught between fighting legitimacy and Anna Kournikovafication, where she’s a naturally gifted athlete but people don’t really care if she wins or not as long as she’s around, because her torso is (was?) amazing to look at. She really did have an amazing torso. I could picture myself battling Shadows of the Colossus on that thing.

Sports

Gina Carano Had Medical Clearance, Pulled Out Anyway - As the comments suggest, “having no chance of making weight” is now a medical condition. I think Gina should just fight super lady heavyweights at whatever weight she is, because she’s still cute, and I’d like to see her Fedor a bunch of giants. [Cage Potato]

‘Plaxico! Oh, How I Missed You!’ - I think writing about Plaxico makes you a racist. It does, I can’t bring myself to do it anymore. I type “Plaxico” and before I’ve even published, somebody is logging a furious comment about how I think “thugs” are ruining sports. I’m just gonna write some more about Tom Brady. [KSK]

The Best Of The Annual Oklahoma D-Day Paintball Games - If you enjoyed the paintball episode of “Community”, this is a great look at how crazy real live paintball wars can be. Make it through the Apocalypse Now-looking people at the beginning and get to those awesome paint clouds. [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 6/6 - Speaking of creepy things to enjoy, be sure to catch this week’s Best and Worst, wherein I praise a black guy for wearing a Confederate army uniform. Also, I’ve been watching that gif of Kelly Kelly for like 20 hours. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Do you try to eat healthy? You might have an eating disorder - Great, I thought being a vegan was a SOLUTION to my eating disorders. Oh well. To celebrate my descent into ED madness, here’s a picture of one of my favorite hot vegans, Drew McIntyre’s allegedly crazy ex-wife “Tiffany.” [Fark]

The 100 Funniest Brits - This is also a pretty solid list for the 100 Ugliest Brits. Thankfully this is in no particular order, so I don’t have to get pissed about Eddie Izzard and Ali G being less funny than Emma f**king Thompson. [Buzzfeed]

Six Panels Of Penny Arcade Get Movie Deal - Just great. Maybe now we can finally greenlight that “A Softer World” movie, which is just a still photo of someone smoking zoomed in three times with some vague, hipster narration. Here, I’ll write one right now. “I thought you said to wait for you. But here I’m waiting. Until tomorrow.” That’s a trilogy. [Gamma Squad]

Facebook Fail-Log: June Edition - I should’ve contributed any and all Facebook-related conversations that sprung from my Joe Rogan post last week. I’ve never seen so many people try to make a point, then ruin it by trying to shoehorn in a funny “cunt” at the end. [Uproxx]

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The Best Of The Annual Oklahoma D-Day Paintball Games

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.07.11

Always related.

I’ve never been much of a paintball enthusiast, what with my naturally soft and sensitive skin and my hatred of sweating, but I’ve always been able to appreciate the almost religious enthusiasm that people show for it as a sport. And you can argue that it’s not a sport, but it involves running, strategy, cool equipment and, best of all, shooting people in the heads, so it qualifies as a sport in my book. Plus, if I can play with the cast of The Wire, then it’s obviously awesome.

With that said, for the past 14 years, people have flocked to Oklahoma on June 6 to honor D-Day, when the Allied Forces stormed German-occupied France and really made Hitler soil his lederhosen. What started as a tribute by 135 paintballers has turned into an event that draws more than 15,000.

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PAINTBALL IS FUN

Written by Matt / 08.05.08


I thought this kid and this guy were the biggest idiots to ever sacrifice their bodies to show the effects of a paintball barrage, but no: this guy definitely outdoes the previous installments, exposing his bare body to two rapid-fire guns for thirty seconds. [Ed. note: that wasn't supposed to sound sexual.]

I also like the fact that he's wearing a thong and the video's shot at night.  Definitely adds a nice little element of torture porn to it.  Reminds me of growing up.  People say you shouldn't raise kids on a torture porn ranch, but look how well I turned out.

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MAKING THIS WAS A GOOD USE OF TIME

Written by Matt / 04.04.08

This man made a tank designed for paintball.  A paintball tank.  An actual tank, to be used for games of paintball. 

There are some design flaws, of course.  The driver is completely exposed, which is unforgivable.  Unsupported track is less reliable than supported track (example of supported versus unsupported).  Also, given the rapid rate of fire in paintball warfare, a firing system that provides only 50 rounds seems foolhardy.   But his most glaring error is failing to show us someone getting hit with a huge paintball from extremely close range.  Show us people getting hurt, dammit!

(Thanks to poonhound Ookie the Mutt)

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EUROPEAN SOCCER GAMES ARE SAFE

Written by Matt / 05.22.07

Here's footage of a pleasant game of soccer in Turkey, between Galatasaray and Fenerbahçe.  Apparently the teams are rivals or something, and an American teacher was at the scene in Galatasaray's stadium.

As the teams warmed, people started throwing chairs at the opposite team’s players! I’m serious – they were kicking the stadium chairs loose and hurling them wholesale or in pieces onto the field. And then they pulled out smoke bombs and flares, and started throwing those! … [T]he game hadn’t even started yet…

The game began, and people continued to throw seats, water bottles, and flares onto the field, where they were left as hazards at the players’ feet… Then Fenerbahçe scored, and the stadium really erupted into craziness… Dozens of police officers stood watching in all corners of the field, moving to shield the players whenever they could…

[W]hen Fenerbahçe scored again… so many flares were thrown onto the field that you literally could not see from one side of the stadium to the other. It looked like a war scene in a movie.

Ah, good times.  The Offside has video of the players ignoring the bottles getting hurled at them, if you're into that sort of thing.  I know I am.

In other soccer-related goodness, Dave's Football Blog looks at why soccer fans are so violent, while fans of violent sports like rugby and football are more generally good-natured.  Also, Greek police will use paintball snipers to deter and mark hooligans attending the UEFA Champions League Final between Liverpool and AC Milan.  If it produces video like this, then I'm all for it.

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