The Cowboys’ Pacman Jones is still riding out his most recent suspension, but NFL Kommizzioner Roger Goodell could theoretically reinstate him this week. But let’s be realistic: he won’t. And Dallas coach Wade Phillips knows the score:
Phillips said that he doesn’t know anything about the possibility of Pacman’s indefinite suspension ending. “I really don’t know,” Phillips said. “When he’s gone, he’s gone. We don’t really think about it. We’re preparing the guys that I have.”
Would Phillips want Pacman back if the commissioner clears him to play? “Yeah,” he said. “Sure.”
There you go. A ringing endorsement from the coach who’s trying to keep his team afloat in a crowded playoff picture. “Do you want your Pro Bowl-caliber cornerback to return?” “Whatever, I guess.”
Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones has been suspended from the NFL indefinitely following an altercation with one of his bodyguards at a hotel last week. By all accounts, the incident was minor and resulted in no police charges, but how many times does Roger Goodell have to say that he ain’t f-ckin’ around, yo?
“He knows that when he was reinstated over the summer, I didn’t feel that he had room for any further errors,” NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said. “What happened last week was significant enough for me to take action. There are no free passes…”
Goodell will determine the full length of the suspension after the Cowboys play Nov. 16 at Washington. The commissioner said a lifetime ban remained a possibility. [AP]
Give the guy a break, man. No one got shot. No strippers were punched. Pacman hasn’t had any fun for almost two years now — that’ll make any drunk guy mix it up with his own bodyguard. Let him sit four games and then bring him back. Between Tony Romo’s broken finger and the addition of Roy Williams to T.O.’s fragile ego, we deserve to have Pacman on this team. Behavioral science demands it. Someone in that Dallas locker room is gonna finish the season dead, or I want my money back.
Adam Jones, a low-profile cornerback for the Cowboys who once went by the moniker “Pacman,” was involved in a fight with one of his security guards at a Dallas hotel. Police were summoned to the scene at 1:30 a.m. Wednesday, and a police spokesman said Jones may have been drinking. So, how serious was the fight?
There was no police report filed regarding the incident. No one was arrested and no one will be charged in connection with the fight.
Oh man, he is so F’d. An altercation that results in no police investigation and no criminal charges has got to be good for, like, and eight-game suspension from Der Kommizioner Roger Goodell. Speaking of:
It was apparently a coincidence that Goodell visited Cowboys players at their Valley Ranch training complex Wednesday… Before meeting with the Cowboys, Goodell said to reporters: “Adam knows how much emphasis I put on making sure that he makes good choices going forward, that he avoids situations where he can reflect poorly on himself, the Cowboys or the NFL. So far he seems to have been able to do that very effectively.”
Goodell should be less mad about the fight, and more mad that it was with one of Jones’s own security guards. Picking a fight with a person who is paid to keep you safe: not exactly the mark of someone with sound judgment. And I think I know a little something about sound judgment. I had court-mandated classes on it after my last drunk and disorderly citation.
Pacman Jones, who I’m supposed to be calling “Adam” these days, was reinstated to play in the NFL by Der Kommissar Goodell today, and he awesomely received the news while at a local Hooters. From the DMN’s Cowboys Blog:
Jones was at Hooters eating a chicken sandwich when he got off the phone with league and team officials regarding his suspension…
Here’s what Jones had to say about getting reinstated: “It feels good man, you know, to get a second chance and I just have to take advantage of it… I need to keep doing what I’ve been doing to get reinstated staying with myself and my teammates and staying away form those knuckleheads and just stay focused.”
Eating at Hooters is proof that Pacman is on the road to recovery. Hooters is the methadone to the heroin that is strip clubs. The addict is left with a boring substitute that in no way matches the high of paying a silicone-breasted stranger who smells like bubble gum and cigarettes to rub her ass on your groin. The upside is that fewer people bring guns to Hooters. Well, actually, that might not apply in Texas.
[PFT]
A few days ago, about eight different blogs wrote about a Cowboys training camp play in which Terrell Owens fooled Adam "no longer Pacman" Jones with a nasty double move. At the time, I was like, "Really? People are devoting entire blog posts individual plays happening at training camp? That's fucking sad."
Now here it is, a couple days later, and video of said play has surfaced. And I take back what I said, because my God it is beautiful. Not really the play itself, just the feeling in my head: Actual professional athletes playing football! Kind of!
Frankly, I've had enough of this NFL offseason bullshit. It's the 21st century now, we need all living NFL players cloned so that the NFL2 season can begin a month after the Super Bowl and last until August. Raise your hand if you want a second NFL season every year. That's what I thought. Get on it, scientists.
UPDATE: Better video thanks to commenter pavement
Somehow the Dallas Cowboys are "America's Team," even though the team is a haven for crooks, cranks, and malcontents. Even though everyone hates Texas. Even though they haven't won a playoff game in 11 years. It probably has something to do with their cheerleaders wearing tassels and cowboy boots. Regardless, there's plenty of big news in Big D, as cornerback Pacman Jones has been granted partial reinstatement in the NFL, and wide receiver Terrell Owens has received a contract extension and a raise. The Dallas Morning News:
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Monday notified Jones that he may participate in the OTAs, minicamp, training camp and preseason games. Goodell will make a final determination on a full reinstatement by Sept. 1, six days before the season opener at Cleveland.
Please Lord bless us with a preseason game in Miami. DAMMIT! Pac will have to find a way to make trouble in San Diego instead. And Hashmarks on T.O.:
[Owner Jerry] Jones ignored his self-imposed rule about paying big money to aging players and gave the 34-year-old a four-year deal worth $34 million… Common sense suggests you don't make a huge financial commitment to a wide receiver in his mid-30s, but the Cowboys obviously believe that T.O. can remain at an elite level for at least two more seasons.
Yes, good call Jerry. Common sense is fucking lame. Spending piles of cash on STAR talent, on the other hand — that's what men of action do. It explains why I owe thousands of dollars on my credit card after my last trip to Cheetah's.
